Originally Posted by
mom2binsd
Rachel, my heart breaks for you and yet I can see that you gaining confidence to make it through all of this!
As someone who went through a divorce this past year, I will say, get him out of the house asap, get an "exclusion from domicile" if he wont' leave willingly...I let xh stay on the couch for a number of months, mostly as I needed someone at the house to watch the kids as I was working 7 days a week (xh had been fired from his job on top of me finding out about his cheating/gambling etc), but until he was out of here it was really hard to get on with healing. With him so close by it's too hard for you to keep moving forward.
Ignore as much as you can all the talk about how divorce isn't necessarily the only option etc....mine tried the same, it's crap! Don't play into his email games, ignore and focus on you and your children. I have no doubt that you can do this, it's going to be tough but you have shown that you can do this!
If you need to and I highly suggest it, I'd also get the lawyer to file for "temporary relief" so that you have child support set up, even before the official divorce papers are signed. It will get xh's wages officially tracked, you don't want him to start making a deal with an employer to get paid in a way that will be hard for you to track.
Don't be ashamed to tell others the truth, it is not your job to shield him or protect him, he didn't accord you the same.
Make sure that he does not have access to your text messages/emails/voicemail that might have correspondence with your attorney/friends. Change passwords etc.
A big virtual hug. I really encourage you to reach out to any BBB local folks who have offered their support, and also to access any local support groups.
I know you HS your children right now, and although it may be a temporary situation, if you need to send them to public school, if you are able to/need to work outside the home, know that children are very resilient. It may not be what you want, but in this situation, it may be what happens for a bit. Divorce can take time, and whether you are able to financially live on child support and maintenance (if you get any) will also be tricky. I know some situations where it's doable, and others where the spouse had to work to support the family.