Hypothetical Breastfeeding Question

[Fairy]

I was talking with a friend today, and we kind of weirdly meandered to this question. Let's say -->

You and your best friend (a very close friend; not a casual acquaintance) both have young babies. You both breast feed your babies. If your friend were unavailable because of an emergency or unplanned absence and you were taking care of your friend's baby, would you nurse your friends baby? By the same token, would you want your friend to nurse your child? This is not about using breastmilk that is donated. This is about nursing another woman's child at your breast and/or letting your child nurse at another woman's breast.

I would not. I would feed donated milk via bottle, but I would never allow another woman to nurse my child at their breast. It's about more than just food and feeding, it's also about bonding and experiencing that maternal connection to your child and having them experience it with you. So, under no circumstances that weren't the apocalypse or the last can of formula being beamed into space would I want my baby to nurse at another breast.

What do you think?

ps --> I didn't put this in feeding cuz it's not about askign for help or looking for any kind of assistance, I just want to have a conversation.

[brittone2]

I was talking with a friend today, and we kind of weirdly meandered to this question. Let's say -->

You and your best friend (a very close friend; not a casual acquaintance) both have young babies. You both breast feed your babies. If your friend were unavailable because of an emergency or unplanned absence and you were taking care of your friend's baby, would you nurse your friends baby? By the same token, would you want your friend to nurse your child? This is not about using breastmilk that is donated. This is about nursing another woman's child at your breast and/or letting your child nurse at another woman's breast.

I would not. I would feed donated milk via bottle, but I would never allow another woman to nurse my child at their breast. It's about more than just food and feeding, it's also about bonding and experiencing that maternal connection to your child and having them experience it with you. So, under no circumstances that weren't the apocalypse or the last can of formula being beamed into space would I want my baby to nurse at another breast.

What do you think?

ps --> I didn't put this in feeding cuz it's not about askign for help or looking for any kind of assistance, I just want to have a conversation.

No, I've never asked or wanted someone to BF my child, and I've never had a friend ask me to feed their child.


However, I've been 3 for 3 on kids who would ONLY nurse, would not take a bottle at all, etc. Sometimes it could have been a handy option

It isn't uncommon for some BF babies to just totally boycott bottles (formula or breastmilk). Sometimes they do so even when really hungry, and even when the parent has tried consistently to intro one. So... there's that angle to consider.

eta: I should have said that in an emergency or crisis situation, absolutely yes. I would nurse another woman's baby and would be fine with my baby nursing from someone I knew well and was presumably close to.

[megs4413]

There are VERY few people who I would be able to trust enough to allow them to do this. I mean, we're talking maybe two people total. But, yeah, I would do it. I've never been in that situation since neither of my children nursed (though I did pump for them), but have used donated milk for DS.

I know that bonding occurs during nursing, but I think you're talking about in a rare babysitting situation. I know sometimes small babies won't take expressed milk when they're used to nursing and if it was between letting my tiny baby cry or letting my tiny baby nurse with someone else, I would choose the nursing. Again, trust would be a HUUUUUGE factor.

[TwinFoxes]

I don't feel strongly about it...but I'd probably willingly BF another woman's child, but wouldn't be so into having someone else BF mine. I'm pretty gutsy, but I can't imagine asking someone to do that. It will be interesting to see what people say. You should have done a poll.

[karstmama]

i'd do it & allow my baby to nurse from another.

it used to be a really big option before formula - 'wet nurse' was the title for the woman. i think mostly for the rich to not have to nurse their own babies, but that's just an impression.

i get that it's personal feeling, but it wouldn't bother me.

[egoldber]

I would have done it if asked. I don't think it would have bothered me to have someone like a close friend or a sister nurse my child.

[MamaMolly]

I would have no problem nursing a friend's DC or having my child nurse from my BFF. Of course I would ask permission first, and of course there are people who I'd rather she not nurse from.

IRL have a friend who was babysitting her sister's DD and they ran out of pumped milk and mom and dad had car trouble so she nursed her niece. FWIW she did not have formula in the house and this was a prearranged solution.

[katydid1971]

My SILs had babies that were only a couple months apart in age. They are full sisters. They use to breast feed each other's babies on occasion when they traded care with each other. It would have to be some I was VERY close with to allow them to breast feed my baby or me her's.

[daisymommy]

Both of my BF babies refused to take a bottle--I tried every kind out there, with my own freshly pumped pumped milk (as did DH and other family members). They wold have rather starved than to take a bottle. Which meant that I rarely ever went someplace without them. Imagine that. I had to rush back and be home within a 3 hr. window.

So, that said, if I had a best friend babysitting my child, and there was a major traffic jam, an emergency where I couldn't get back home, and my baby was frantic, and the friend offered to BF my baby, then absolutely I would let her--and vice-versa. I'm not going to let my baby cry hysterically for hours because something weirds me out (which it doesn't anyway...I'm comfortable with it, when it's a healthy mom). One breastfeeding session does not equal bonding with someone else anyway. It's just food!

[wellyes]

What's the alternative? I mean, if there was a nice bottle of expressed mama's milk nearby, you'd use that, right?

So the question is formula or nursing. For a young baby who'd never had formula, yes I'd allow it.

If formula isn't an option, then of course I will not deny a hungry baby food if I am lactating.