I hate that this bothers me. But it does.

[Green_Tea]

I have a friend. Let's call her Sue. Sue and I have known each other for around 6-7 years because our oldest DDs attended preschool together, and then our sons went together. All the kids went from preschool into the same elementary school, so we have been in and out of classes together for quite some time. Our families have hung out together on many occasions for many years, and our paths cross frequently. Sue is not my best friend, but I like her a lot. We always have fun when we're together. I wouldn't say we're close friends, but if I were planning a girls night or a party, she'd be on the list for sure. She's definitely more than an acquaintance or a casual friend.

I found out today that Sue is having a party for Memorial Day. We attended this party last year (and we also attended her annual Christmas party). Well, apparently we didn't make the cut this year. Other friends of ours did, but we did not. Honestly, I'm shocked. And hurt. I am not even sure we would have gone (they hold it at their beach house, which is about 90 minutes away), but I am really surprised not to be invited, especially because our sons played together just a few weeks ago and her husband was here last week to work on his business's website with my husband.

I know that not everyone can be invited to every party, blah, blah, blah. But I never thought I'd be cut from THIS person's guest list. It's the worse feeling ever.

[TwinFoxes]

Are you sure there's not an invite that went missing? Because it sounds really off, unless you left out that you stole their silver last time. I'd be hurt and confused too. It just doesn't add up.

[Green_Tea]

Are you sure there's not an invite that went missing? Because it sounds really off, unless you left out that you stole their silver last time. I'd be hurt and confused too. It just doesn't add up.

I suppose it's possible, but she uses Evite for pretty much every party she throws and I've never not gotten one. I could ask a mutual friend who was invited to check the "not yet responded" list, but honestly, if we're not on it, it will just make me feel worse to hear it.

What makes it even more upsetting is I found out about it because I was considering having a small BBQ for Memorial Day, and was discussing a potential guest list with a friend, and mentioned Sue's name. The friend (who assumed that we were invited because we always are) said, "Oh, she's doing her beach house party so she won't be able to attend."

I am tempted to have a BBQ and send Sue an invite, just to see what kind of reaction she has. But that feels really 7th grade.

[swissair81]

There was this family that I mothers helper'd for years. I practically helped raise her kids. I was invited to her first 2 boys bar mitzvahs (and somewhere in the middle, she was my oldest DD's first grade teacher), but then I wasn't invited to the bar mitzvah of the son I practically raised from a baby. I tried not to let it bother me, but it really did. I felt so juvenile, but I still kind of wonder about it.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

you mentioned you only found out about the party through a mutual friend...could it be Sue just happened to have told that friend casually she was having the Memorial Day party that day, but she has not yet sent out the Evite to everyone?

but in any case, i am sorry. i tend to get bothered by these things too. it's like, I just want to know WHY i wasn't invited (but then I don't, IYKWIM). this sort of happened to me a few years ago...a grad school friend was having her wedding the same month as mine..we talked about wedding planning a lot together, i sent her a save the date card, and then invitation, etc...but i never got invited to hers. She even gave me a wedding present a few months before my wedding (she didn't come to my wedding). it felt so odd. She didn't have a small, family-only wedding either, she posted pics via email or FB or whatever and I saw she had other grad school friends i knew there too. I felt bad, and then I felt bad about feeling bad about it.

[echoesofspring]

It sucks to feel excluded no matter what the circumstances. I was "uninvited" to a bday party this year when the venue was moved from a family friendly restaurant I could drop in and hang a bit with DS (I had no childcare that night) to a definitely adults only tapas bar. I just thought the party ended up falling through that evening - until the pics & status updates showed up on fb I know it was probably an oversight, but it stung....

[LBW]

This kind of thing bothers me a lot, too. I have a friend who will complain to me all the time about how certain people never invite her to dinner, etc. I have invited her to dinner many times and have often done things with her family and/or just with her. But, I've never been invited to dinner at her house. I know many of the people she complains about have been invited for dinner at her house. She tells me about all the things she does for them -- things she's never done for me. Little things like that just kept coming up. I've been distancing myself from her for the past 6 months. I miss her a little, but overall, I'm happier. The constant stress of being treated like I was on her B list just wasn't worth it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It'd bother me too. (((((hugs))))

[Philly Mom]

It has happened to me and it feels awful. Don't let it ruin your weekend. Hugs.

[nmosur]

Talking of invitations, there is this one friend I have who always responds with "if we don't have anything else come up we'll come to the party". And by anything else she means another birthday party/dinner invite. I can't get over her stupidity of actually saying it to me - she can very well say that she will let me know.