Quote Originally Posted by Still-in-Shock View Post
I am glad you two women had much better experiences with this than what I had seen elsewhere. I certainly didn't mean to be rude to any woman who gives up a baby, and I would not advocate deception.
I read your earlier comment of how making sure the birth mother doesn't get to hold the baby really rubbed me up the wrong way. But since this is a public forum & do not know you at all, I decide to let it go as after all you've a right to your opinion. But even after the other two ladies called you on it in a nice & eloquent way, you still type up your above comment in a very insecure way, at least to my interpretation. I don't know anything about adoption, beyond my best friend as an adopted child. Guess what? The fact she knew she was never held by her birth mother gave her a lot of insecurities growing up, even though she had awesome adoptive parents. As a social worker, I cannot emphasize enough on proper closure; it's very important for both parents; birth & adoptive to have a sense of closure & new beginning. The adoptive, knowing everything was all ad above board with birth parent getting her goodbyes & closure in. The birth parent having her moment of grieving and closure. So what, if the birth mom changes her mind, as hard it may be, it may have been "right" in the sense that the adoption was probably never meant to go through. After all, it isn't like the parent demanded to have that, but states actually put their laws into writing to have the 24 hours or 72 hours of being a legal parent before they sign their rights away. There IS a reason for such laws in place. I'm really sorry for your own bad experience, as obviously it must have hurt you or someone you knew who's been through it, but to come across indicating birth moms do not have a right to hold the baby is, well...bit cold.