Sleep gurus, please help. I know my problem is not as bad as others, but still, older DS needs me and I can't cater to DS2 all afternoon and night!

DS 2 is a very happy baby, even when he won't sleep....I am so thankful for that. He goes down super easy for his AM nap and sleeps for an hour or two. Sometimes he goes down relatively easy for a second nap depending on how long the first one was. But once 1 PM hits, all bets are off. He has never been great at these afternoon naps, it has always been hard to get him to go down, but the naps have become nonexistent over the last week and a half. I put him down sleepy, he won't go to sleep. I put him down apparently deepy asleep - he wakes up crying 2-15 minutes into it and won't go back to sleep. I put him down right after getting him into a light sleep, often even he opens his eyes when I put him down and sees he is being put down - same result. This continues well past 10 PM. Holding him is the only things that works and I can't do this all the time.

I have an older DS that needs me, so as a result, what's been happening is that I have to give up on napping to do things for DS1 like homework, dinner, bath, you know, normal life stuff! Then after I get DS1 to bed, I try getting DS2 asleep again, and usually fail again. The result is that I've been having to hold DS2 for hours in bed as I did when he was a newborn, and then I am able to transfer him to the Rock N Play sometime after midnight, usually after I doze off and wake up becuase my neck hurts. He wakes up 1 or 2x during the night and I can usually put him back to bed then without a fuss after a feeding.

He does not like being worn for extended periods - I can put him to sleep in the carrier but he does not like to stay there - too confining for him I think. A sleeping transfer from carrier has the same result as above.

Amazingly, as mentioned above, DS2 stays in good spirits mostly, though he has had a few overtired crying jags, but I'm exhausted and can't get anything done! Please mamas, give me your BTDT and any advice!!