I need help with this potentially awkward situation

[#2ontheway]

We've been invited to join some friends for Christmas dinner at their home. This is a group that periodically imbibes in marijuana. I'm not particularly comfortable about that, and I'm strongly opposed to it taking place around my kids (even if they head outside to smoke and then come back inside). My question - should I say something to the host in advance, along the lines of a polite request that they hold off on this (if it is in their plans) until we leave (and we'll probably leave early)? Or quietly ask the host about it when we arrive? Or just hold my tongue and hope for the best?

[JElaineB]

I would not say anything. If you are not comfortable with what you know will occur when you are there then I would decline the invitation.

[TwinFoxes]

I would have declined. But since it seems like you want to go, if I were you I wouldn't make a request, but I would ask ahead "do you think you'll be smoking?" If she says yes, I'd decline then. But honestly, I just wouldn't go, I don't want to wonder everytime someone leaves the room where they're going and what they're doing.

[AnnieW625]

I would have declined. But since it seems like you want to go, if I were you I wouldn't make a request, but I would ask ahead "do you think you'll be smoking?" If she says yes, I'd decline then. But honestly, I just wouldn't go, I don't want to wonder everytime someone leaves the room where they're going and what they're doing.

[Binkandabee]

I'd politely the decline the invite.

[#2ontheway]

I wish I could decline the invitation. But we've already accepted. It's only now that I'm seeing the full guest list that I'm concerned this could get incorporated into the plans.

I think my best bet is probably going, perhaps quietly asking the host if there's an opportunity, and hoping for the best. Ugh.

[crl]

I would be sick and have to beg off.

Catherine

[larig]

I would not say anything. If you are not comfortable with what you know will occur when you are there then I would decline the invitation.

I don't think it's fair to ask the host to stop something from happening that they obviously enjoy. It's their xmas too. I wouldn't feel badly asking people to do it discretely without your DCs from knowing, however.

[hillview]

I'd go and leave early if you think they will be smoking after supper etc. Alternatively if it is a deal breaker thing for you, I'd call in sick.

[Cuckoomamma]

We wouldn't accept the invitation, either. Now that you have, I'd have someone get "sick". I don't think asking the host will go well in their eyes. Their party=their rules. I could see them taking it badly no matter which way they were leaning..."how could you think?" or "who are you to tell us how to celebrate?"