(update in OP) If your child did not potty train until past age 3...

[♥ms.pacman♥]

update: today i came home from work to see the daily report from his teachers...in the memorable moment" section teacher wrote: "[DS] was so excited about the potty!" And in the diaper chart she noted that DS sat on the *TOILET* and peed, TWICE!!! Holy $h!zn!t. The whole time he's been at school (6 weeks?) he has outright refused to come near the toilets at school... just the mere suggestion of sitting on the toilet would often have him in tears. But last week one day the teacher noted he sat on the toilet (didn't make anything though). And today I noticed that other than once in the morning, he didn't pee at all in his diaper.....So this is PROGRESS! Finally, i can see some light at the end of the diapering tunnel.

thanks everyone for your responses. nice to know that i'm not the only one and that i just have to wait until he's ready. The past few days, DS has repeated " Now I wear diapers. When I turn 3 years old, I will be a big boy and use the potty and wear underwear." His birthday is in 2 days...it would be funny/awesome if he made good on his promise, LOL.

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..please commiserate me with me. I am just getting sick and tired of hearing other mamas (of mostly girls, i admit) mention that their kid just got PT'd...and many are a FULL YEAR younger than DS. DS birthday is in a little over a week...I feel like I will be the only person with a 3 year old in diapers. UGH. What's worse is that DS talks/looks older (95% of adults who meet him guess he is 4 or 5) and I notice they are taken aback when they notice he is in diapers. Bleh. Maybe i'm just tired bc I have had TWO in diapers for nearing 2 years now. I just want SOMEONE to be out of diapers!!

DS will wear underwear in the evenings at home for an hour or two.. and yesterday he peed on the potty on his own without even wetting his underwear at all. But it has been this way for 6 months at least, so it's not really progress. At daycare they work on potty training (they have a bathroom with like 3 mini toilets) and have potty time but DS always vehemently refuses... bc i think he is scared of sitting on actual toilets (scared he will fall in, be flushed down, or whatever). DS is a rather anxious kid, fairly OCD about many things...if it were up to him he'd be wearing diapers forever! I'd rather not make a big deal out of it and just wait until he is totally ready. Though its' frustrating seeing everybody else PTing like its no big deal.

[westwoodmom04]

Neither of my kids were trained at 3. However, it is much more normal for boys to take longer, I think ds was 3 and a half. DD was ready to potty-train and just refused to even sit on the potty. Finally, I just put her in underwear and after one accident, she was willing to use the potty. I would give your son more time, its really rare for a boy to train by 3.

[crl]

Ds was 3 years 3 months. He was also anxious and I felt like he was just becoming more and more stuck on wearing diapers. I truly believed he was not going to give them up on his own until it became a serious social issue for him--and at that point I felt it would be an ongoing issue even after he potty trained. Now he was in special Ed so we had issues beyond the ordinary.

And this will get me totally flamed here, but I pushed the issue. I took away all the diapers except for at night. It was an awful week but at the end of it he was totally potty trained. I think he had maybe three or four accidents ever after that (except for at night which is different).

Catherine

[twowhat?]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, we didn't potty-train ours until 34 months. That's nearly 3 years old...and boys typically PT later. And I think in toddler 411 they list the average PT ages for boys and girls...avg for girls was I think 34 months. Can't remember what it is for boys but it was longer than that.

Let the school handle the potty training! That's basically what I did. For a long time ours were afraid to use OUR potties at home (but were fine with using the potties at school - peer pressure is an amazing thing). So I agree that is one hurdle - just getting over the fear of sitting on the potty. We read lots and lots of books with kids sitting on potties at home just to get them used to it. I think I even have a pic of DD2 frying an IKEA "egg" in an IKEA "pan" while sitting on the potty with DH next to her on the bathtub holding up a book.

And yes, agree with just trying not to make a big deal out of it. Also it may help to remember that PT is one of those things that a kid will suddenly "get". Like, within a matter of hours. So you could "work" on PT for months but that effort is basically a waste because you really just want to look for that small window of time when the kid "gets" it.

Search for the 3-day potty training threads here...they give enough basic info on readiness and strategy for PT. That's pretty much what I followed at home over one weekend once we were sure the girls were showing all the signs of readiness.

And yes, it is SO NICE to be done with diapers. Esp when all your kids are in diapers at the same time

eta: oh and also seach for the threads on the disadvantages of PT early (bladder problems in kids, contributing to withholding and constipation, etc).

[SnuggleBuggles]

Our pediatrician said to aim for 4yo. So glad he did! It was nice to have a stamp of approval to be late. Ds1 pt'ed about 2 months before he turned 4. He did it in a day and was 100% day and night done. We tried and failed at 3.5- huge, stressful power struggle. Ds2 took a week to pt when he was a bit shy of 3.5. He wasn't resistant but he just didn't care Then, on day 7 a little switch went off in his brain and he was all done. Still wore a pull up to bed till he was almost 5 but hadn't needed them for months. I'm a fan of just waiting till they are ready and willing.

[SnuggleBuggles]

And this will get me totally flamed here, but I pushed the issue. I took away all the diapers except for at night. It was an awful week but at the end of it he was totally potty trained. I think he had maybe three or four accidents ever after that (except for at night which is different).

Catherine

That's what we did for ds2. I was just about to give up on him after a week but it did work!

[oneontheway]

It will happen! I would hear about early potty trainers and think should I be working on this but ultimately I know my kids and if I pushed them they would do the opposite. So I just let it go and didn't push it at all. They both (DS and DD) did it themselves right around their third birthday. DS2 is a little over two now and I will take the wait and see approach with him. I will encourage it when he shows he is ready.

Hang in there and don't feel discouraged!

[ahisma]

DS2 was 4 years, 1 month! No joke. It was not for lack of trying.

[nfowife]

Both my older kids were over 3. Dd was 3y3m and DS was 3.5. You are fine! Waiting till they're ready is so much easier.

DD2 just turned 2 and we haven't even given it a thought. I'm in no rush- diapers are so much easier!

[sste]

Over 3.5 and not from lack of ability IMO. He told us he liked his dipes. We tried everything - - Potty Rhumba line with the whole family dancing to the potty (DS still sings Pot-ty, Po-ty, POT-TEEE" sometimes); potty frog set up in front of the tv so he could view while defecating, stickers; candies; gift-wrapped match box cars toward the end!

I will never again enter another childcare or preschool arrangement that requires PT by a certain age in order to move up classes - - that is what put us over the edge about the situation at the time.