(update in OP) If your child did not potty train until past age 3...

[twowhat?]

I will never again enter another childcare or preschool arrangement that requires PT by a certain age in order to move up classes - - that is what put us over the edge about the situation at the time.

Ugh, that sucks. Yeah, I agree. I like how our school handled it - they had 2 "early preschool" classrooms that were identical in their schedules/curriculum. The only difference was they moved all the kids who were PT into EPS2 and all the kids who were still working on it in EPS1. If EPS1 kids PT by the time they were ready to move into the preschool classrooms, then they skipped EPS2 and went straight over. EPS2 kids naturally transitioned into the preschool classrooms. So even though there was a PT requirement for the preschool classroom (which I guess they have to have in order to manage staff ratios), it didn't feel like the kids who didn't PT early got the shaft in terms of what they were learning in their classrooms and got to stay in classes with children their own age.

[zukeypur]

DD just turned 3 on the 18th and has never done anything in the potty. She is absolutely uninterested and I am not up for the fight.

[sidmand]

Neither of DCs schools required PT (thank goodness!). School pretty much PTed DS. We tried all summer (he turned FOUR in June). Nothing. He went to school in September and the first day came home pee trained because "they told me to point my penis down." Being female that had never occurred to me! He wasn't poop trained until that Xmas so 4 1/2. Nighttime was about 5 1/2.

DD OTOH we knew was just stubborn! She showed NO interest by age 3 (April). That August she wanted purple nail polish and we told her if she peed on the potty she could have purple nails. She came home from daycare, peed in the potty and never looked back. Within two weeks she was COMPLETELY trained, pee, poop, and overnight! I was shocked and never would have believed it. For her we just had to find the right currency!

ETA: DS is a big boy and always has been. Off the charts for height so I can commiserate with having a big guy who doesn't look like he should be in diapers. Add to that that he was 4 1/2 and having adult size poops (yuck) and we were all ready to be done with diapers!

[Dream]

DD was about 3 years and 10 months. She was fully trained for poop well before 3 years but not for pee. We started before she was 3, she understood and knows how to use the potty but was just lazy. I tried everything but no luck. When she wants she use the potty but most times she won't. We stopped using diapers except at night, but she would just wet her self and won't even tell us so we can change. We were so scared as we wanted her to start Prek this past Sep.

We started her in July, 2 months early in the full time program and hoped for the best. It took about 3 weeks and more bribing but finally she started using the toilet at school but wouldn't at home. She started using the toilet at home only about 2 months ago. But even now her teachers complain sometimes she would have an accident while napping at school and wouldn't tell the teachers till they notice.

Still its an ongoing struggle. She's too lazy!!

[BabyBearsMom]

My nephew didn't PT until he was past 3. I think that is totally normal, especially for boys.

While DD1 is potty trained, I totally feel your pain on the looking older thing. DD1 is really tall for her age and people frequently assume she is 4. I have had people come up to me in the mall and tell me I should contact Early Intervention because "by the time my kid was her age, she/he could already blah blah blah." When I tell them she is only 2, they are usually very embarassed. But I really don't like be judged by a total stranger. He will potty train when he is good and ready, no need ot pressure him or rush him now.

[carolinamama]

DS1 was 3 years, 3 months before trained. He just wasn't ready and DS2 was born when he was 3 years, 20 days old so I just didn't push either. According to my pedi, 3.5 is normal for boys. Your DS isn't alone although I can understand being ready for them to just pt already. And maybe your DD will make up for DS's time - my DS2 trained practically on his own at 2 years 2 months.

[AnnieW625]

If you go back to March/April of 2009, maybe even December-January, 2009 you will find me b!tching here about the same thing. DD1 was one of two kids in our playgroup of 15 kids who wasn't potty trained by 2/1/2. The only other kid was a boy. I was beyond frustrated.

DD1 trained at 3 yrs. 1 mos. and she trained in about two weeks. We used a sticker chart and Starburst as motivation/rewards. She actually made great strides while we were out shopping she would find public bathrooms at dept. stores or restaurants and go there. We got a foldable potty seat and that helped as well, although we really prefer the Bjorn potty seat insert, but it isn't as easy to travel with. We would use pull ups when we were out for about the first two months she was trained ESP. if we were in the car for more than an hour, but we still stressed that she needed to tell us when she needed to pee.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00004DSG5

We also had one of these potty chairs, although we bought ours at Target and we kept it in the back of the car for road trips. We loved that it folded flat and had a lid. I am sure you can find one in blue, but if not get it in pink because for a while these kind of seats were hard to find. Ours is the Circo brand from Target but the stopped carrying it sometime in 2009 IIRC.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000JVXZ8Y

[amldaley]

DD1 is 4.5 and has had 5 wet accidents in 4.5 hours today. She was recently Dx'd with a voiding dysfunction. People give us all kinds of looks. I feel your pain.

[happymom]

This is one of those things where every child is just different and there is a large range of normal. Potty trained at 2.5? Normal. Potty trained at 3.5? Normal. I totally understand feeling frustrated though, especially with 2 in diapers- that's hard.

You mentioned that your daycare has potty time- that's great because it means they will work with you if you think DS is ready and you're interested.

I teach a class full of kids your DS's age, and every year I help train at least 3 or 4 kids. Once the parent feels the child is ready (mostly that they are aware of the sensation that need to pee/poop)- usually they have been wearing underwear for a few hours a day at home, or managed a whole weekend with very few accidents- I tell them to just send the child in underwear and send a few changes of clothes too. Then I take the child every 40 minutes or so (regardless of when the rest of the class goes) to avoid accidents. And if the child does have an accident, we don't make a big deal about it at all and we just change him/her.

I have had a few parents send in a potty to use if the child was afraid of the toilet. I have also had parents who sent in a toilet seat insert if that's what the child was used to from home.

Some parents send in a bag of little treats- m&ms for example- and I reward the child after each time they go. This is definitely recommended.

If you don't think your DS is ready yet though, that's totally fine too. There are sooo many kids over 3 who aren't trained yet. It will happen!

[janine]

Didn't read all the responses, but my DD was probably 3 and 1/4. Her preschool required it by 3, our DD2 showed up when she was 3...there were so many reasons to HAVE her PT'd by then!

But she is a stubborn one and even though she got it, didn't want to potty in the toilet. She turned her nose up at the M&M's and other attempts. I told our pedi and she said, ok just leave it completely for 3 mo's! No rush! I talked to our school director and she said pull ups are fine if they were close. Well she wasn't that close, but I didn't say....

She ended figuring it all out pretty much in a day (no idea what made it click, think I just said YOU MUST pee in the toilet!) She also got a bad diaper rash and I told her this was because she was too big for diapers! And then the rest was quick (night time training, poops) so take solace that even if it takes longer for the initial piece, you may end up in the same spot as the others overall!