(update in OP) If your child did not potty train until past age 3...

[mousemom]

I can commisserate. DS just potty trained at about 4 years 1 month. He was oblivious to candy rewards, stickers, etc. Setting a timer to let him know when to try was resulting in power struggles. We switched him to pull-ups at the beginning of the summer and the change somehow encouraged him to start pooping on the toilet, but he'd still pee in the pull-up with no concern. I was just happy not to be changing poopy diapers, so I took this as a win and let it go. He started school two mornings a week in the Fall and he would use the potty there and came home with a dry pull-up, but still would not use the potty to pee at home. So, we knew he could do it if he wanted to.

Finally, earlier this Fall we started checking out ipads/iphones at best buy in anticipation of buying one. DS really liked playing with them. So we told him we were planning to get one, but ipads are only for big boys and big boys wear underwear and use the potty. Guess what? Fast-forward a couple of weeks later after having had this discussion a couple of times and DS decided it was time to wear underwear and use the potty. I think we've had one accident since then (and we do allow DS to play with the new Ipad). We would never have used a "bribe" like this if we weren't sure that he really was perfectly capable of being trained (and if we weren't already planning on making a big purchase like this), but it worked like a charm!

So try not to let the other moms get to you and good luck finding something that works for you! And I agree with many other posters who said that training late can sometimes be easier than early, in terms of dealing with accidents.

[karstmama]

ds finally did it last month. he was 6 last month. yeah, you read that right...

but he had an ostomy for a year, so i'm just glad he poops out his butt.

[Cam&Clay]

DS1 was 3 years 2 months. DS2 was 3 years 9 months. I am a firm believer of doing it when they are ready. With both, I tried it when they were younger for a few days and saw no progress and quit. I didn't have the time or energy to fight for months to make it happen. When it happens at the right time, it should only take a week or so for success!

The good news is that my boys trained day and night at the same time. It seems my friends who had kids who trained early were still fighting nighttime wetness for years after my boys trained.

[liz]

Just seeing this thread now and very timely for me. Right now my couch cushions are air drying with pet stain and odor remover sprayed on them. All my DS have been so stubborn about PT and could happily sit in their own poop and pee without batting an eyelash. gosh, it sure is tiresome and frustrating. I am glad to be reminded that there are others in the same boat and it's not just us!

And OP, yeah I have friends who PT thier kids completely by 2-2.5 years old so I knew they didn't understand why it's taking my kids so long.

[YouAreTheFocus]

DS1 was 3 years 2 months. DS2 was 3 years 9 months. I am a firm believer of doing it when they are ready. With both, I tried it when they were younger for a few days and saw no progress and quit. I didn't have the time or energy to fight for months to make it happen. When it happens at the right time, it should only take a week or so for success!

The good news is that my boys trained day and night at the same time. It seems my friends who had kids who trained early were still fighting nighttime wetness for years after my boys trained.

I totally agree with all of this. DS was 3y1m. We too just waited until he was ready and he wanted to. Our preschool tried to force us to do otherwise, but we just let them do what they wanted there (we sent him in pullups, they made him sit on the potty, he had complete breakdowns about it) and we had him in diapers or pullups at home and didn't push the potty thing AT ALL.

The finally one day he was ready, and that was that. He was 100% PT, day & night, done. It was a 3 day weekend, he had 1 accident (unfortunately it was poop while we were out shopping!). And then maybe 3 more in the next 2-3 months. Meanwhile we have friends who PTd at 2-2.5, who are still dealing with regular daytime accidents.

Personally, I'd wait til he's ready, and try not to worry about it. It will happen!

[YouAreTheFocus]

...

DS#4 (twin 2) doesn't really get the feeling. He was doing well for a while but they moved his twin to the other school and he is still in the trans 2's class with a lot of 2 year olds. He hates it and is regressing in my mind. He is back to needing a diaper all the time. He is a lot like DS#2 and I just don't think he feels it. The doc says he is fine all the way around and give him time. I agree. The darned schools around here are the problem. He will have to remain in a trans 2's class until he is trained. So again he is regressing. It is tough with him. I just don't think he knows when he has to go.

I have found through friends and my own experiences that boys are just later bloomers on this subject and that is fine. Their anatomy is different than ours. The "true" definition of being "completely potty trained" is a child who can poop and pee in the potty fully night and day and can go 6 months without an accident.

He$$ I am in my 40's and after having 5 children, my bladder is worse than the kids! I guess I am not potty trained as I have accidents all the time!!!! I think the schools are making these poor kids grow up faster than ever. I know of parents who start to train their kids b/c they want to look more successful than their friends and they spend months and some times years putting their kids and themselves through a tortuous time trying to get them to train. It will happen when it happens. I wish it would go faster especially with #4 as educationally he isn't getting anything I feel from his class. WE are going to visit another preschool to see what their policies are as I know they are 3 as well but they give a little more flexibility I hear when it comes to how they treat the subject. I am hoping by some miracle they will be able to eventually get my two boys in. But it may fall back on #4 being "trained".

I just read your post now, and had to say something. I am so angry on your behalf! I can't believe that your preschool would split up twins like that--advance one to the appropriate class and then leave the other in a 2 yr old class. Just because he isn't PT! It really makes me mad when preschools get hung up on one thing instead of looking at the whole child. It reminds me of our first daycare. DS didn't walk until 16 mos, and was left in the infant room until then. All the kids with nearby bdays walked at 8-10 mos (!) and moved ahead, so for 6+ mos he was left with only nb babies and nb appropriate toys. Just like you, it really wore on me that he had to sit in that environment all day, getting nothing out of it. I hope you can get them to advance your son, or that it works out with the other preschool. Let us know how it goes!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

bumping for update in OP. thanks for comments everyone. nice to know i am not alone in this!

[kijip]

Maybe this thread is magic. My four year old potty slacker has been using the potty consistently with little prompting the last few days. Knock on wood.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Maybe this thread is magic. My four year old potty slacker has been using the potty consistently with little prompting the last few days. Knock on wood.

Yay! and yes, i am totally knocking on wood now, hope i didn't jinx myself!