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  1. #1
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    Default CIO for 9 mth old

    I'm not thrilled, but DH insists that we need to implement CIO for DS who is 9 mths old. I've always been against it, but at this point, I have to agree with DH. Overall I'd have to say DS appears to fight sleeping. He always nurses to sleep, takes 2 30 min naps, and wakes up at least once and sometimes several times overnight. Last night I tried to nurse him to sleep with no success. We let him CIO for 7 mins. Since DS is now standing in his crib, I laid him down and rubbed his stomach and back (since he turned over) for about 2 mins, then left. We let him CIO for 10 mins, then DH went up. Since I told DH not to pick up DS, he just rubbed his back while DS was standing up for about 3 mins. We let him CIO for another 10 mins, then I went in and again laid him down and rubbed his stomach and then back. DS cried for another 10 mins and finally feel asleep hiccuping for crying for so long. About 20 mins later he woke up crying. I went in and settled him one last time and that was it. He was asleep.

    DS did wake up at 4:45. DH changed his diaper and I nursed DS. I put him down semi-asleep. I swore he wasn't going to go back to sleep, but thankfully he did until 6:45AM.

    Am I doing this right? Should I be laying him down since he is standing? Any other advice? Is it necessary to read Feber's book?

  2. #2
    Philly Mom is online now Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Read Ferber's book. It is great and gives good advice. I will say that with some kids, going in to the room just gives them the power and extinction is the only answer. With DD, if we went in the room, she would just scream louder during the next interval. When we started the intervals at 15-20 minutes, she just fell asleep on her own. We also restart the interval time if she calms herself down at all during the process. With DD, though, she sees us and thinks it is play time. She does not sleep when we are around (i.e. we were in a hotel room the other night and I sent DH down to the lobby and I sat in the bathroom until she fell asleep).

  3. #3
    edurnemk is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I agree with the suggestion to read the book. Don't expect him to stop waking up at night until the training is done and then he will know how to settle himself back to sleep.

    I did a modified, lighter version of the progressive waiting approach at 13 months. I first weaned him off the need to be rocked to sleep, once he was ok with being laid down on the crib awake with me just sitting near his crib, the we started leaving the room. I also reduced the intervals, IIRC I started with 2-5-8-10 minutes, the next day 5-8-10-12, and so on. We only needed to do it 3 nights, and also even on the first night I didn't have to go in more than 3-4 times before he fell asleep. When I went in, I'd lay him down rub his back for 5 seconds telling him "It's time to go night-night, I love you and I'm right outside", then I'd leave even if he got up and started crying befor I made it to the door.

    ETA: I stopped changing my babies' diapers in the middle of the night at around 2-3 months per the Ped's suggestion (unless they pooped), that helps keep them from waking up completely and makes it easier for them to go back to sleep.
    DS 1/08
    DD 7/2012

  4. #4
    almostmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Yes, I would also suggest reading the book. It's not as bad as it seems!

    And I did pick up my kids when I went in. Rubbing their back didn't soothe them at all. So for me, after some interval (maybe 15 minutes, maybe 8, maybe 20, I don't remember), I would go in, pick them up for a few seconds, they would stop crying, and then I'd put them back in bed and walk out. It was hard, but it only took a few days and then it was done.

    My kids were probably around 7 or 8 months when I did it.
    Liz

    DS 11/03
    DD 12/05

  5. #5
    Giantbear is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I was never able to do it. I know many who have, i just couldn't.
    Proud father of dd 5-30-10

  6. #6
    KLD313 is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    For the most part my DD was a goof sleeper but around 9 mos she wouldn't want to go in her crib and she would just scream. I couldn't bear to just leave her there. Instead, I stayed in her room. When she stood up I put her back down, no talking and then I sat with my back against the crib. I kept doing it and when she stayed down I would crawl out. If she woke up again I would do it again. In two nights she figured out that she wasn't coming out and that was that.
    DD 9/10
    DS 8/12

  7. #7
    wellyes's Avatar
    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    We did it at 8.5 months and it was very good for our family. It worked much faster than I expected. Do read the book. Good luck.
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

  8. #8
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    Read Ferber's book. It is really helpful. We did Ferber with DD1 and it worked really well but I think it helps to understand the underlying psychology of the methodology. Also, keep in mind that it takes several days before it gets easier and that you need to be consistent with the methodology in the long run.
    Mommy to my little bear cubs DD1 and DD2- 4/2010 and 4/2012

  9. #9
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    I do recommend you read the book and follow the method. We Ferberized DS very successfully at 9 months, maybe 10 months, and he's still a phenomenal sleeper at 4 years old. He was a colicky baby, though, so he was going to be crying anyway, no matter what we did. There was far LESS crying and far more sleeping post Ferber.

    I've posted before about DD and how exhausted I am. Since the age of 4 months, she hasn't slept more than a two hour stretch, and mostly she is up every 45 minutes. It is torture! DH now sleeps downstairs so he can take a shift at 5 am so I can get a couple of hours of sleep. I am lonely, exhausted, and occasionally quite resentful of my beautiful girl, who does not cry at all during the day unless she has a good reason.

    I decided to Ferberize right before Christmas. I couldn't believe how easy it was! Her longest stretch of crying was 12 minutes, and that was intermittent. She started sleeping 3-5 hour stretches. My husband moved back into the bedroom. But I messed up! With Ferber, you are supposed to increase the time before the first check each night. On the first two nights, I noticed that DD would fall asleep soon after the first check. As the time before the first check lengthened, so did her time of crying. I decided to just check her after five minutes from then on. This worked for four days. Then her crying lengthened, and her periods of sleep shortened. After a week, DH caved and said we had to stop. I agreed. She's still sleeping some 2 hour stretches, but otherwise, we're back to square one! Aaargh! Now some separation anxiety is kicking in, and I feel like we missed our window! I'm planning to start again next week after DD's 9 month checkup. I know it can work, because it was like a miracle with DS.

    All this is to say that you absolutely should read the book, follow the method properly, and STICK WITH IT!!! Good luck!

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