Sleep support thread?

[mctlaw]

Ok, I need someone to give me a Ferber run down. It's go time, we kicked our "tenant" to the curb and tonight we are moving his crib. I am all in, I just don't know what exactly to do. Please help!!!

Here is the basic Ferber plan: The times he gives are examples, btw. He says you can alter them as you see fit.
You can do this for naps and night or just start with night, Ferber says day and night sleep are different and admits the training is harder to implement at nap time, because kiddos go in and out of sleep windows. So he suggests to consider doing nights first and then days once nights are down. I'm not exactly doing Ferber (though I did do it strictly for 5 days), but I am not training at naptime, for now, though they seem to be somewhat improving anyway.

Do your bedtime routine and lay down baby awake. Leave. The following are suggested intervals to go in and check on baby. Your goal is to give baby confidence you will return and check on him, but not necessarily to stop him from crying. Stay in with him for 1-2 minutes max and try not to pick up.
Day 1: 3,5, 10 (all subsequent)
Day 2: 5, 10, 12
Day 3: 10, 12, 15.
You get the picture.
If you sense by the cries baby is starting to settle, do not go in. If baby quiets and then starts back up, start the clock over.

Ferber also admits this won't necessarily have an impact on night wakings (which are our big problem). If they are trained night feeders, he suggests you make a choice: Focus on extinguishing night feedings, or focus on making baby go to sleep on own. Once you have one down move onto the other. If you want to focus on extinguishing night feedings, you can either not feed and comfort however you need to back to sleep, or feed less every day and graduate it that way.

If you have any questions I'll try to look them up for you. Keep us posted!!

[lmh2402]

anyone still swaddling? we have got to get out of this swaddle

DD is still being swaddled for all naps and night. every time i try to take one arm out, we go days with even more awful naps than usual

i had first tried around thanksgiving - one arm out during first nap only. the theory was i would do the first nap only for a few days until she was napping soundly. and then i would do first and second nap, and so on until she was doing all sleeping with only one arm swaddled.

then i'd move to the two arms out for first nap, etc, etc

except it has backfired terribly.

one arm out = 15 min nap. for like a week straight

so then i thought maybe she wasn't ready. went back to full swaddle.

now trying again since christmas.

still failing miserably

at this point, i'm considering just going cold turkey

we have got to get out of the swaddle

and out of the rnp.

i just want her to be able to go to sleep. and be able to move and adjust to get comfortable.

has anyone just stopped swaddling cold turkey? is it awful... how long was it awful for?

[sntm]

Why stop swaddling? We have weaned from RnP because I'm afraid he'll pull himself out, but have no worries in swaddling. We only use a blanket and he's good at Houdini-ing out anyway but it helps him settle and know its sleep time. Just now, he didn't like it (was overtired and just had to roll around next to me until tired enough to nurse) so I just laid the blanket across him on his cheek and it reminded him of sleep.

SIL knows Karp through work and swaddled until a year, and still does sleep sacks

[Melaine]

Here is the basic Ferber plan: The times he gives are examples, btw. He says you can alter them as you see fit.
You can do this for naps and night or just start with night, Ferber says day and night sleep are different and admits the training is harder to implement at nap time, because kiddos go in and out of sleep windows. So he suggests to consider doing nights first and then days once nights are down. I'm not exactly doing Ferber (though I did do it strictly for 5 days), but I am not training at naptime, for now, though they seem to be somewhat improving anyway.

Do your bedtime routine and lay down baby awake. Leave. The following are suggested intervals to go in and check on baby. Your goal is to give baby confidence you will return and check on him, but not necessarily to stop him from crying. Stay in with him for 1-2 minutes max and try not to pick up.
Day 1: 3,5, 10 (all subsequent)
Day 2: 5, 10, 12
Day 3: 10, 12, 15.
You get the picture.
If you sense by the cries baby is starting to settle, do not go in. If baby quiets and then starts back up, start the clock over.

Ferber also admits this won't necessarily have an impact on night wakings (which are our big problem). If they are trained night feeders, he suggests you make a choice: Focus on extinguishing night feedings, or focus on making baby go to sleep on own. Once you have one down move onto the other. If you want to focus on extinguishing night feedings, you can either not feed and comfort however you need to back to sleep, or feed less every day and graduate it that way.

If you have any questions I'll try to look them up for you. Keep us posted!!

Thank you! Soon after you posted I got a call that the book was available from the library so I picked it up and read about 1/3 of the way through. So last night I just figured I wouldn't do anything drastic unless he tried the "awake for hours" thing he sometimes does. He slept the first 2.5 hours in the crib, then I tried to settle him back down and he wouldn't so I just put him in the bed with me. I figured it makes me more sense to actually read the book before I start the yelling process.

But, yeah, he usually goes down fine. It's the wakings that are the problem for us. And he doesn't even necessarily want to eat during those wakings. he just can't seem to settle back down. I don't mine feeding him at night but he is just not able to sleep on his own at all.

Oh and he woke up before 5? Not sure what is going on with that.

[123LuckyMom]

Okay, I wanted to start with Ferber again last night, but I wanted DH's help, and he was not on board. It looks like its time to pretend to be a single parent again . Anyway, I'm chiming in to say that when I did those four days with DD, the night wakings immediately diminished. She went from every 45 min. waking to multiple hour stretches. Mostly, that has stuck. She will often sleep for two hours at a time now, sometimes longer.

[lmh2402]

Why stop swaddling? We have weaned from RnP because I'm afraid he'll pull himself out, but have no worries in swaddling. We only use a blanket and he's good at Houdini-ing out anyway but it helps him settle and know its sleep time. Just now, he didn't like it (was overtired and just had to roll around next to me until tired enough to nurse) so I just laid the blanket across him on his cheek and it reminded him of sleep.

SIL knows Karp through work and swaddled until a year, and still does sleep sacks

i want to stop swaddling mostly so i can get her out of the rnp

her pulmonologist said she shouldn't be put to sleep flat on her back unless or until she able to roll and more likely to sleep on her side or belly

can't do that while swaddled

i'm all for sleep sacks though. just need to get her able to sleep with her arms out.

[Melaine]

Okay, I wanted to start with Ferber again last night, but I wanted DH's help, and he was not on board. It looks like its time to pretend to be a single parent again . Anyway, I'm chiming in to say that when I did those four days with DD, the night wakings immediately diminished. She went from every 45 min. waking to multiple hour stretches. Mostly, that has stuck. She will often sleep for two hours at a time now, sometimes longer.

Sorry you aren't getting any help. If it makes you feel better, I do all that stuff myself too. Part of the "deal" with having baby number 3 was that DH wouldn't have to do wake-ups or diapers and I've kept the bargain.

[sntm]

Ah. So basically needs arms free to roll over. Tough one. DS can roll over and wiggle out of any swaddle and does frequently, but it may be my poor swaddling skills.
Would it work to keep both arms in but make it a little looser each night?

[lmh2402]

ugh. she can't roll. at all. but there is absolutely no chance of her rolling while swaddled

i'm worried about the rolling. i think it's bc she spends virtually no time flat. tummy time - though we do it every day - is torture. she screams and pukes.

and flat on her back is...eh. though we do that with her play mat every day too

anyway, i just gotta get her out of the swaddle.

so, has anyone just done it cold turkey?

[123LuckyMom]

We stopped the swaddle cold turkey and started stomach sleeping. DD could roll over at that point. I thought tummy sleeping might lead to some actual sleeping, but it didn't. The swaddle or lack thereof didn't seem to make a difference for us.