3daypottytraining question

[indigo99]

I spent a week trying to PT DS a couple of months ago, and he went in the potty less and less each day. He totally withheld pooping to the point that he was completely constipated and in severe pain by the end of the week. He won't even consider putting on underwear or sitting on the potty again since then.

I'm considering trying the program, but does it have anything to say about withholding? DS has some autistism spectrum traits, and I'm wondering if he's just too stubborn for it to work on him. Prizes don't work well with him. He won't drink unless he's actually thirsty (we have trouble even getting him to eat when he's hungry). He isn't excited at all to wear underwear (actually gets very upset if I mention it) and could care less about being a "big boy". At 3 years and 4 months, he is very much in control of when he goes though. He'll announce to me that he is going to pee or poop in his diaper, and he can pee on demand if I ask him to go before putting a new diaper on him or putting him in the bath.

Thanks for any input you have!

[ArizonaGirl]

I don't have any BTDT experience with special needs children, but how about Miralax to soften it up so that withholding isn't an option.

I don't know with a child like him if pushing it is a good idea, but for my DS it became a battle of will and I refused to lose. However, YMMV with that.

Sorry I don't have any better advice.

[annex]

I think one true key piece is finding their currency. For many kids, just getting to wear underwear is not motivating enough. Or prizes. Maybe it's an experience like going to a favorite store, or watching a particular tv program. I would start by making lists of things your DS demands access to, and start limiting access to those so you can use them as rewards for working on the potty skills.

The Potty Journey is a pretty good guide for dealing with kids with on or near the spectrum. The special ed rooms in my son's preschool all use it as their bible, and they claim never to have sent a kid to K who wasn't potty trained:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Potty-Jour...dp/193457516X/

As far as withholding, I agree that Miralax may help. But I would ignore bowel movements for a while and focus on building the program on peeing in the potty so that he has a strong positive association with the potty before you tackle something a potentially painful issue. If you fill out the charts in the Potty Journey book you'll be able to figure out what times of day you can allow him access to the diaper for pooping.

HTH,
Anne

[PunkyBoo]

The 3day potty training program was great for us. It completely worked for Boo to pee in thd potty but it took a full commitment by me, DH, our nanny and buy in from his preschool teacher. He was a full 3 and a half. I also admit though that he still has occasional accidents but I think he often does it to prove he's in control. He got scared though the 2nd or 3rd time he pooped on the potty when he was a litgle backed up and it hurt so then he associated poop on thd potyy = painful so he began yo withold. I agree though that you need to figure out what he IS motivated by. I was shocked to discover that Boo could not care less about getting m&Ms. He cared far more about little toy bugs and when he got a little jar full of bugs he earned a tog construction crane that he coveted. We'd left the crane on a high shelf fully in view so he was motivated to poop in the potty to earn enough bugs to get ghat crane. We did have to get him on miralax per the pediatricians instructions because the withholding set up a bad pattern where he held it then would gave unexpected blowouts at really inopportune times. He's still on the miralax but I've got him now at half the d dose the ped recommended and he does fine.

Oh I also recommend the book Everyone Poops because it helps demystify the whole pooping thing. We talked a lot about how even mama pooops, even his teacher poops, even hus grandparents poop, etc.

HTH. Let me know if you need more info.

[indigo99]

Thanks for the input! I just don't know if I should try again or wait longer. Physically he can totally control when he pees and poops, but emotionally he just has no interest in giving up diapers. His mother's day out teachers said he shows no interest in the other kids using the bathroom either. We do read potty books and the Everyone Poops book, and he loves to flush the potty for me and DH or watch me change DS2's diapers.

He gets upset if I even mention trying underwear again though. He got SO constipated before, and I definitely can't let that happen again. I'm sure he is afraid of that happening again, and that's probably a big part of why he wants to continue with diapers.

I read that the 3day program has you throw out the diapers so that they no longer think it's an option. I think that would help with us since he kept asking all the time to just go put on a diaper and wanted me to change his underwear on the changing table etc. The only way to do that is to work on pee and poop at the same time though. I do have an idea of when he'll need to poop each day, but I can see it being confusing for him if sometimes he gets diapers and sometimes he has to have underwear. At the same time, I do think I could get him to PT for peeing if only I didn't have the whole withholding pooping issue.

We did M&Ms as incentive for peeing, and that seemed to work well. There just doesn't seem to be any incentive good enough for pooping. We already have to use Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and iphone usage to get him to eat enough each day (skipping meals isn't an option because he gets sick when he does). Those are the only two things he begs for, but even they aren't enough to get him to eat sometimes (even when I know he is hungry and we are offering food he likes). I've offered him all kinds of great toys for pooping in the potty and a handFULL of M&Ms, but it just isn't worth it to him.

Ugh. DS2 had better be easier!!

We have a hard deadline of early May for complete PT if we're sending him to "school" this summer. We had such a horrible time getting him to separate from me and adjust in the fall so I really don't want to give him time off over the summer and put him through that again next fall. It's just so hard to know when and what to try next with him.

[jgenie]

I think I remember the 3 day program saying to take a bit of a break if you were trying another method before. I would wait a bit - maybe a couple of weeks and then pick a weekend and go cold turkey with the 3 day program. We ran out of diapers the day DC1 and DC2 started and when they asked for a diaper I just told them I would get some next time I went to the store. I continued that line until they stopped asking. DS1 had a treasure chest of stickers, hot wheels, Sesame Street video coupons (he didn't get to watch TV until he started potty training and that was the currency that really got him excited) and a couple of trains got added in when I realized he was worried about pooping. James the red engine did the trick and DS1 never looked back.

[twowhat?]

I'd be really careful if he's stubborn and prone to withholding...constipation is not a road you want to head down, especially during potty-training. A single painful hard poop is going to ruin it for a good long while.

I agree to not push it and wait a while, and to try to find his currency since it sounds more like a battle of wills with him vs a readiness issue. Maybe even get rid of all the "pre-talk" (since just the mention of underwear seems to make him nervous) and don't mention it AT ALL until the weekend you want to do it! And then just bring it up very matter-of-factly. "We're all out of diapers and can't buy more because other babies need them. Here's your underwear. All pee and poop belongs in the potty now."

And then if/when you're ready to give it another shot, I'd totally use Miralax prophylactically (start it a couple weeks in advance of the planned PT weekend so you can work out the dosing and make sure his poop is coming out really SOFT) just to prevent withholding/constipation! Keep him on it until he's fully PT and comfortable with pooping in the toilet and then wean off slowly. Check with your ped first, though of course.