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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default Waking at the same time each night

    Until a few weeks ago, DD was waking every 45 minutes, so things are better, but now we have a new pattern.

    We Ferberized, and it took. DD would wake a few times, but would go back to sleep by herself within 5 minutes-- no need to check. Now, every night, she wakes up screaming and shrieking at about 1 am. She'll cry for a looong time! I can't hack it, so if she cries for over 20 minutes, I go in and pick her up. If I let her fall asleep in my arms, she'll go down again in her crib. If I just soothe her and get her sleepy, as I did tonight, I'm in for another jag if crying. Sometimes it will be less than 10 minutes, but sometimes it will be another long stretch. She's crying right now. I, of course, am done with sleep for the night either way, and I lie awake until she wakes again anywhere from 4:45-5:30am. At that time I take her into my bed.

    I am nursing her down at night, not letting her fall asleep on her own. She usually wakes as I put her in her crib but either doesn't cry or cries for just a minute. I do also take her into my bed in the morning, because I figure she's hungry, and I can get some extra sleep while she nurses. Do I need to cut this all out? It was working fine until a week ago when this 1 am waking began.

    Do you have any advice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    DS was doing something very similar. He would wake up at 4AM every night for several nights in a row. We would used a modified Feber method. DH went in to soothe DS and give DS his pacifier. Then if DS continued to cry, after 5 mins, I would go in and lay him down (b/c he'd be standing) and give him his pacifier. Then if he continued to cry at 7 mins, DH would go in and repeat the process. And after that we did every 10 mins.
    At any point If DS started to whimper and/or cry out just once every 10 or so seconds we would wait it out and he would typically stop. Sometimes, just going in his room set him off again, it was better to just leave him alone. So if we had hit the 5, 7, or 10 min mark and it seemed as though he would stop crying, we wouldn't go in.
    This went on for about 4 nights straight. Every day the 4AM wake up got shorter and shorter until it stopped. Unfortunately, for the past 2 nights he's been waking up at 6AM for some odd reason. I usually wake him myself at 7AM to nurse him before I go to work. Since it's only 1 hour early, we've tried to do this same process, but no luck. He's just hungry.
    I nurse DS right before bed. I think he was waking up at 4AM b/c he wanted that comfort. I have to wonder if your DD is waking at 1AM b/c she is looking for that comfort she gets when you take her to your bed. I might suggest implementing the Feber method (or something modification) for the 1 AM wake up and also possibly no longer feeding her in bed. Does she fall back asleep when you nurse her at 4:45-5:30?
    Proud mom to one & only DS born 4/12
    Expecting someone new in April 2016

  3. #3
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    Jun 2008
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    She does fall back to sleep in the morning. We wake up for good at 7am. I think I need to Ferberize all wakings until 7am. The problem is that she shares a room with my son. He rarely wakes in the night when she cries, but he does wake in the morning. I've been trying to spare him that early morning waking. I also was concerned that she's actually waking because she's hungry. Ferber advises getting up for the morning at any time past 6am, I think, and not trying to get the baby to go back to sleep at that point. Clearly she's still tired, though, or she wouldn't go back to sleep again. I do want to keep nursing her down at night and just stick with Ferberizing the wakings. That's what I did with my son, but he was a champion sleeper by this time. I can't believe how much I'm still struggling with an almost one year old!!! Maybe I should just Ferberize the 5am waking, too, and we'll all have to be tired until it takes. Is that what you would suggest?

  4. #4
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    Sep 2011
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    If it were me - I'd work on getting over the 1AM waking first. See how that works. I'd have to guess that this may cause her to sleep past the 4:45-5:30 mark b/c she'd be so tired from CingIO at 1AM. Although, this might be really difficult though with your DS in the same room. Do you think he would be okay with this? Or can he sleep in your room for a few nights while you work on the 1AM wake up?
    I know this is hard, but I might also suggest to simultaneously stop feeding her in bed at the 4:45-5:30. From your description, I feel like she is just seeking your comfort - the ability to be with you, nursing, in your bed.
    How about naps? How is she doing? DS's naps have improved drastically since we've implemented Feber at night.
    I know how difficult this is.
    Proud mom to one & only DS born 4/12
    Expecting someone new in April 2016

  5. #5
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    Sep 2011
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    Sorry - to clarify - when I said to stop feeding her in bed - what I meant was - *I know this sucks* but just get up for the day. If she wants to nurse - fine, but take her to the family room to nurse. Play with her. This is what I did with DS at first. He was so tired he ended up taking 2 naps.

    My situation is a bit different however, DS gets up (usually) at 7AM on weekdays and then ends up falling asleep in the car for about 30-40 mins while I drive to daycare. He takes a 2 hour nap now at daycare. He also falls asleep for another 45 mins or so on the drive home. Weekends stink b/c his sleep schedule gets so messed up since we don't have that drive. I'm still trying to figure that out.
    Proud mom to one & only DS born 4/12
    Expecting someone new in April 2016

  6. #6
    Philly Mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I agree to stop nursing in bed unless you want that to be constant part of your routine going forward. I have a friend who always brought her DS into bed at 4:30 when he woke up. At almost 2, she still is doing it and she is not that happy about it. I would deal with one wake up at a time though.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Oh, that totally stinks!

    You know, when DS was waking at the same time every morning (4 am), a friend told me it was probably habit, and she was right. We Ferberized through that waking and he was fine. I'd talk to your pediatrician if you think she's truly hungry--it might just be a short growth spurt or something. With DS, I knew he wasn't; nursing was soothing, not sustenance, at that time of night. If she's an average weight almost-one year old, I'd be inclined not to attribute it to hunger, but your ped would know best.

    In a sense, it might be easier in the long run to hit both nighttime wakings at the same time, if you're already not getting back to sleep before that second waking. It sounds horrible for you, but maybe it's a case of short-term pain for long-term gain? Doing them one at a time sounds like spreading out the misery to me. You might have to give in and start your day earlier than 7, though. Good luck!
    Sharing advice/encouragement for homeschoolers at Homeschooling for Normal People

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