Holding Back Not Allowed?

[bisous]

Wow. Interesting. It was just a few years ago that lots of CA schools (including those in my area) instituted the Jr. Kindergarten program which is essentially public subsidized redshirting,lol! My own DS participated in such a program.

This seems to be a move in the opposite direction. CA just moved up the cutoff date (from Dec. to Nov. 1 and I believe it will move up AGAIN come fall) so this makes for a very small window for K readiness indeed.

It does make me frustrated that parents are not able to have more leeway in deciding if their child is ready. It seems like those who redshirt are of two varieties. There are those who do it because they want their child to be more advanced than everyone else and there are those who do it so their child will be equal to their peers. I think there is kind of a big difference there actually.

I understand the argument that allowing for a large age range in K means it is tough to reach everyone's needs. On the other hand, I'd argue that an age is not a very good predictor of academic ability or social maturity.

I've recently come to the conclusion that perhaps the reason that K has always been considered "optional" is because at 5 some kids just aren't ready for school yet. In a perfect world, those kids without the maturity to sit and who still take naps, etc. would be able to stay home while still conquering kinder milestones like letters and counting. But I know the real world doesn't work like that. Parents need good places to put their kids where they can learn the (now expanded) set of skills for preparation for 1st grade.

What we did was to homeschool for K (we did 1st also) and that allowed for DS1 to be successful at school. But I just don't think that is an option for all kids.

[sariana]

It drives me bonkers unless the kid is within say 2 months of the cut off or has real developmental issue. My DS (mid-july b-day) will turn 5 four weeks before he starts K. I will send him on time unless his pre-K teachers strongly recommend to hold him back. I have a friend whose DS is born at the end of April and she's holding him back...he's almost 5 months away from the cut-off (9/15). I don't want kids 15 months older than my DS in his same class, especially since DS is about 2 months away from the cut-off. I'm fine with a range of 15 months total, kids who are born in July and August can go either way. I don't want my child to be disadvantaged because people hold their kids back who are technically ready. I think red shirting should be the exception rather than the rule.

So I think it is well within the school district's right to "force" the girl to start first rather than K, especially since the cut off for California is in the fall.

Especially my bolded part. Someone's child has to be the youngest. If you don't want it to be your child, have your babies in February. Otherwise, why have age guidelines at all? Why can't my (hypothetical) 3-year-old start K next year? I think she's ready....

[ahisma]

So confused...he will turn 7 in August? So you aren't sending him to K until next year and he will be 8? Am I misreading?

Oops! I gave the wrong kid's birth year. He's an 08 kid - big difference. Sorry about that.

My Oct. 06 kid is in K right now. He was our FTT, suspected CF (read: THREE sweat tests) kid. He was redshirted for fine motor skills, emotional readiness and stuttering. He's doing well now.

[crl]

For those that think parents should have to prove that their children should be held back, what proof would you accept?

My ds had an IEP and was receiving special education services in a preschool setting. His classroom teacher the year we made the decision to hold him back was the only teacher out of ten lead teachers he has had that I thought was a horrible fit. She pushed extremely hard to label him autistic despite our very well-respected developmental pediatrician ruling that diagnosis out completely. She also violated special education law multiple times and acted like I was being difficult when I called her on it. Her administrators backed her. None of them supported holding ds back.

We agonized over this decision. We consulted everyone we could think of and even hired an educational consultant to help us decide and to consider a wide range of placements.

In the end it was the right decision to hold ds back. We moved mid-year the year he would have been in K and the cut off dates shifted. So he was within the suggested sixty days in the location we lived at when we made the decision, but not in the location where he ultimately started K. He has been socially and academically middle of the pack for the most part so far. Last year in second he struggled a bit academically and we arranged tutoring after school and then over the summer. Our decision to hold ds back definitely narrowed the range of behavior and academic abilities in the classroom for his teachers--he would have been behind and needed an aide at least part time if we had had him start K on time.

But what proof could we have offered to get this result? The school district was absolute that their policy was to promote special education students in all circumstances. I have heard that from special education parents in other districts as well. They do not hold special education students back. Ever.

Catherine

[elliput]

Especially my bolded part. Someone's child has to be the youngest. If you don't want it to be your child, have your babies in February. Otherwise, why have age guidelines at all? Why can't my (hypothetical) 3-year-old start K next year? I think she's ready....

Actually, I would prefer my DS being the youngest in his class much more than him being the oldest. He has an end of Sept birthday, and the cutoff here is Aug 1. I could have him tested to see if he is ready for K this fall, however, his teacher has already suggested that we wait.

And an aside here, some of us aren't able to choose exactly when our babies are born.

[sariana]

so you wouldn't hold your child back if they were academically behind, like couldn't make a single letter, even if they were socially on track? But you would hold back for social reasons?

Sincerely wondering about the logic of holding back for social but not academic.

If I hold my DS back it would be perpetuating the insanity IMO, but at this point he is not ready academically (still one more year before K for him though so I am not panicking quite yet.) I am already stressing out about what to do with him, because I think he will be ready for K socially, but not academically.

I think the example was that some parents hold their otherwise on-grade-level children back so that they will be advanced compared to their peers, not advocating pushing children who are behind into an inappropriate grade. Another reason parents might hold back is so that their children will be bigger, stronger, etc. for high school sports.

[ahisma]

so you wouldn't hold your child back if they were academically behind, like couldn't make a single letter, even if they were socially on track? But you would hold back for social reasons?

Sincerely wondering about the logic of holding back for social but not academic.

If I hold my DS back it would be perpetuating the insanity IMO, but at this point he is not ready academically (still one more year before K for him though so I am not panicking quite yet.) I am already stressing out about what to do with him, because I think he will be ready for K socially, but not academically.

I didn't really explain well. I would definitely hold him back if he wasn't ready academically. I don't feel that starting school when you aren't ready (either academically or maturity wise) is a good foundation for an education.

I wouldn't hold a child who was ready back to give him advantage, whether it be academic or otherwise.

[AnnieW625]

.....

BUT, what if a year from now your DS still demonstrates those traits? Would you hold him back ANOTHER year? Is holding back a year really the solution, or does he need support in the classroom to overcome those things?

support in the classroom is awesome. My DD1 who has been super shy her entire life benefited greatly as a 5 yr. old from the support, growth and new things she learned from others. Even though she was shy I would have sent her last year with a later summer birthday because I knew academically she was ready. She would have been super bored at another year of preschool.

[sariana]

Actually, I would prefer my DS being the youngest in his class much more than him being the oldest. He has an end of Sept birthday, and the cutoff here is Aug 1. I could have him tested to see if he is ready for K this fall, however, his teacher has already suggested that we wait.

And an aside here, some of us aren't able to choose exactly when our babies are born.

I was kidding about the babies in February thing. My kids were VERY uncooperative about when they got born!

I have a July birthday; my state had a December cut-off. I was young for my grade. Then I skipped a grade. So I graduated high school at 16. But my parents didn't/couldn't simply say, "My daughter is ready for the next grade." I remember having to take tests and getting interviewed by people and other things. It was not a matter of my parents' knowing what was best for me. They had to PROVE it.

[ahisma]

I think the example was that some parents hold their otherwise on-grade-level children back so that they will be advanced compared to their peers, not advocating pushing children who are behind into an inappropriate grade. Another reason parents might hold back is so that their children will be bigger, stronger, etc. for high school sports.

Exactly. This happens at our school and it irks me. That said, I get that there could be reasons that someone holds back that may not be readily apparent. I'm sure that people don't look at my academically adept son and "see" that one year ago he couldn't cut with scissors, hold a pencil, or write anything remotely legible. His October birthday gives me a pass, but otherwise, I'm sure it would look like we were trying to given him an advantage.