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  1. #1
    edurnemk is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default DD's sleep is a disaster, I don't know where to start fixing this

    DD (8 months old) was a wonderful sleeper, until a bunch of things like: travel, 4 month regression, more travel, sickness... and then all her good sleeping habits went down the drain.

    Her naps are all over the place. I'm following the No-cry sleep solution like we did with DS, and doing whatever is necessary for her to nap regularly and for more than an hour. However she can't seem to nap for more than 45 minutes like 90% of the time. I sometimes rush to her when I hear her waking up and get her to fall back asleep but a lot of times I fail. Her nap schedule is a mess with coming and going in the car to drop-off/ pick-up DS from school, and then other days I take her to OT and have to wake her when we arrive if she fell asleep in the car. But I'm kinda forcing her into a 2 nap schedule so things work better for us. But the bottom line is that on most days she naps for a total of maybe 90 minutes in the whole day, I know this is not enough. What can I do? She's a light sleeper like me, and when a random noise doesn't wake her, DS does (he's a noisy kid).

    Then at night, she goes down easily on most days. She's used to being put down drowsy but awake and doesn't fuss or anything, some days she takes longer to fall asleep, but I always put her down awake. But then the first few hours she keeps waking up or half-waking up and crying, like every 30 min or so. I go in give her the paci, settle her back on her side (she's a side sleeper) and she immediately goes back to sleep. Then she wakes up to nurse 2-3 times during the night. And on some nights she refuse to go back to sleep after her midnight feed and plays and babbles for up to 2 hours! It's not every night, and I can't figure out why she does that. When she does this I bring her into my bed and basically ignore her and try to sleep until she falls asleep.

    We planned on moving her into her room in Jan. but then she got sick and I let her stay in our room until she was better so we'd all get some rest. I tried putting her in her room the last 2 nights, thinking maybe it would be quieter and she'd sleep better, but it was the same thing. Like every night I ended up bringing her into my bed in the middle of the night because I just couldn't keep getting up every 20-30 minutes. I also try very hard to space the nursings, giving her the paci, cuddling her, rocking her as long as possible. She goes to bed at 7 pm and wakes up between 6:30-7 am. She really can't stay up later than this, by 6:45 pm she's really fussy and tired (even if she naps at 4:30 pm).

    Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm so tired I feel I can't even think straight. Plus DS wakes up to use the bathroom at least once every night and asks me to walk him back to his room. DH travels every week, so I get to do this all on my own.

    So, any tips? How do I get her to stay asleep?
    Last edited by edurnemk; 03-19-2013 at 09:40 PM.
    DS 1/08
    DD 7/2012

  2. #2
    mikala is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    No tips but commiseration. DS2 is the same age and is going through a similar cr@ppy sleep phase. In our case I've figured out his natural nap times but life with an older sibling gets in the way too much. He seems ready for his first nap two hours after he wakes up, then second nap three hours after he wakes up from the first. Bedtime is four hours after the second nap ends. But this sequence implodes when he falls asleep in the car at a different time or his naps are too short.

  3. #3
    edurnemk is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikala View Post
    No tips but commiseration. DS2 is the same age and is going through a similar cr@ppy sleep phase. In our case I've figured out his natural nap times but life with an older sibling gets in the way too much. He seems ready for his first nap two hours after he wakes up, then second nap three hours after he wakes up from the first. Bedtime is four hours after the second nap ends. But this sequence implodes when he falls asleep in the car at a different time or his naps are too short.
    This is exactly our problem, I go by her sleep cues, but car naps really mess her up. And for some reason she has a hard time staying asleep at times.
    DS 1/08
    DD 7/2012

  4. #4
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    I honestly feel for you. We went through some terrible sleep issues w/DS. He will turn 1 in 10 days. Only the past 4 weeks have been great.

    We tried No Sleep Solution and it didn't work for us. We finally gave in and tried Feber. It has worked wonders (except the multiple times he was sick or teething). He now knows how to put himself to sleep, which is awesome.

    We moved DS into his own room when he was 4 months old. So I can't relate to that, but I will tell you his nightwaking was definitely out of habit. He just wanted to nurse. We had some pretty rough sleepless nights while working through the Feber method, but it was well worth it. When he was sick or teething we just did our best, and it usually ended up that I would have to nurse him. The worst was many times he would refuse to fall back asleep. We'd give up on Feber after about 20 mins and just bring him into our bed bc we were so tired. It was terrible bc he'd just climb all over us and try to play.

    As for napping - it was just as bad. I WOTH FT, so DS goes to daycare 4 days/wk and 1 day at ILs. DS would only take 30 min naps once per day. If we were lucky he'd nap a second time. It was AWFUL. DS would only sleep well in the car. I drive about 40 mins to and from work, so he sleeps then. At about 9 mths, he moved into the "older infant" room at daycare. He then moved to 1 nap as this is what the rest of the children do. He will nap an average of 1 1/2 hrs straight now, sometimes as little as 45 mins. At home and ILs he will nap longer bc it's dark and quiet.

    I know this may not be ideal, but I might suggest trying Feber. I know some are against it, but try reading his book. It's not nearly as bad as you might think. I won't sugarcoat and tell you that it's easy, but I am so thankful we did it. It feels like DS has been sick more time than he's been well, this has definitely added to our sleep issues, however he is doing great now. He doesn't need me to nurse him to fall asleep and he sleeps through the night. If he does wake, we check if he had a BM and change him if necessary. We give him some water in his cup, then his pacifier, and rock him for a minute or two. We then place him back in his crib. He puts himself back to sleep in minutes. We are so relieved!
    Proud mom to one & only DS born 4/12
    Expecting someone new in April 2016

  5. #5
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    I'm a Ferberizer, too. For the longest time 4 months to 10 months) DD was waking every 45 minutes and needed me to get back to sleep. It didn't matter whether she was in my bed with me or not. My lecel of sleep deprivation was horrifying, and my DH had moved out of our bedroom so he could sleep. It was awful!!! I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution, and it didn't work for me. Maybe I didn't really understand how to do it. In any case, I decided to Ferberize. I think DD's longest crying jag was 12 minutes, which is a while, but a time frame I'm willing to live with, especially since much of that time was trying to stop crying. On the second day, she woke only twice. It was like a miracle!!! Within a week, she was waking but falling back asleep without my help.

    She's still a rotten sleeper. Sometimes She doesn't fall right back asleep, and I have to go in, and she tends to get up fir the day at 6am, but compared to how it was, this is bliss!!! Also, I now nurse her down and pick her up and calm her if I need to do a check. This is not good Ferber technique, and I know if I followed the technique to the letter she'd sleep better, but I'm good for now.

    I highly recommend trying it, but read the book. There's a lot to Ferber. It is not at all just letting your child cry until they sleep!

  6. #6
    edurnemk is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by psimpson3-5 View Post

    I know this may not be ideal, but I might suggest trying Feber. I know some are against it, but try reading his book. It's not nearly as bad as you might think. I won't sugarcoat and tell you that it's easy, but I am so thankful we did it. It feels like DS has been sick more time than he's been well, this has definitely added to our sleep issues, however he is doing great now. He doesn't need me to nurse him to fall asleep and he sleeps through the night. If he does wake, we check if he had a BM and change him if necessary. We give him some water in his cup, then his pacifier, and rock him for a minute or two. We then place him back in his crib. He puts himself back to sleep in minutes. We are so relieved!
    I have the book, I've read it and I really like it. But I'm not ready to do the progressive wait approach with DD yet. I'm fine with reducing the night feedings (the duration in our case since I nurse her). I did the progressive wait thing with DS but he was older. DD is a more sensitive child so I don't feel comfortable doing it with her just yet. She can fall asleep just fine on her own, but she has trouble staying asleep more than 30-45 minutes at a time.

    I've also figured out that her worst nights are on the days we take her to OT, she hates it and it really stresses her out. Anyway, the last 2 nights have been much better, she's slept 5-6 on a row and only woke to nurse twice. She spent the majority of the night in her room.

    Gotta run, but I'll post more later. Thanks!
    DS 1/08
    DD 7/2012

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