nothing. everything.

[waitingforgrace]

I'm sorry you're going through this, please reach out to someone IRL to get help.

[edurnemk]

Please get some help! you deserve it, call your Dr.

my son knows something is wrong and he's scared and so he's extra needy. which is so hard right now b/c all i want is to be left alone. totally alone.

Kids definitely pick up mom's energy, anxiety, etc.

[hellokitty]

you need professional help right now, call your dr.

and big hugs.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm so sorry.

[westwoodmom04]

I agree with the PPs, a doctor will never disclose what you tell them, or judge you for whatever decisions you decide to make. I'm really sorry that you are going through this.

[mmsmom]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been through infidelity and I can relate to your feelings. I understand feeling like if you tell anyone then you will have to move towards divorce. I did not tell anyone for a year. But then I confided in two close friends and it was the best thing I did. They were supportive & did not push in any one direction, did not tell anyone & they were still nice to my then DH though I know they wanted to punch him. Oh & by rhe way turns out really everyone in our town knew anyway. I was the last to know. Now is the time to find someone to talk through this. You are making yourself sick keeping it in.

I know any answer seems impossible but I promise you one day you will be on the other side of this and not look back, with or without him. It's the deciding which direction to go that is the hardest.

For what it's worth, I tried for 3 years to make it work then woke up one day with complete clarity that I had done all I could and it was time to move on. Once the decision was made everything else was easy. I met someone else a few years later and happily married now for 7 years, 2 DC and I barely think about the dark times with XH.

[Sweetum]

hugs...yes, you need professional help NOW. Please go find it. at a minimum they can help you prioritize things and deal with them one at a time. Please also talk to an attorney to be sure you are doing things right in terms of your own financial security and that of your kids'. Please get help. And trust that everyone's been that low at some point in their lives and have survived. be sure you get out with limited casualty. You need a good team IRL. Please go find it.

[ray7694]

You are going to get through this. My xh left me when I was 5 months pregnant and I felt the same way you do but slowly with counseling I picked myself up and moved on. You don't need all the answers right now you just need to survive.

If you want to talk to someone I am happy to talk with you. PM me.

HUGS!

[California]

You are in a crisis. If you had gotten a scary diagnosis or something crashed into your house, would you try to handle it alone? Of course not- you'd get help- it makes sense to lean on others when you need the support. Are you in a small town? Are you concerned about word getting around? Cities are pretty anonymous places. Another option (doctor being a very good place to start) is to call local churches and see if one offers free counseling. Our local Catholic church here offers it to anyone- regardless of religious affiliation- as a public service. At my local church (not Catholic) I've been in the office when people have walked in off the street needing help, and the secretary gets them a cup of coffee and sits down and just listens, listens, listens.

[maybeebaby08]

I'm sorry you are going through this, it's normal to feel exactly how you do, if you can afford it find a counselor or dr you can talk too, it will make you feel a little better. You are an amazing woman and a mother and you will come out of this.