I'm so sorry! :-( That sounds awful.
I'm not sure if you've heard this before but my DS spent several months with an ear infection as an older infant (he's a needy one so his behavior wasn't out of the ordinary) a friend told me her doc had recommended putting saline drops in the nose every time DC had a cold and that would help avoid the EI. I kid you not, my ds has *never* again gotten another one. It's such a simple thing and maybe a nurse can tell us about the anatomy aspect. I simply kept saline nearby and put a couple drops in each nostril at diaper changes. I did this until DS was about 3-4yo. He's a healthy 6yo now.
Hugs and prayers for your family. That sounds tortorous.
Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.
--Moses Maimonides