Ferber is WORKING!! (long)

[Melaine]

I am so encouraged and I want to share because I know there are lots of folks in a bad sleep place right now.

Quick background: It's been a rough year. DS is 11 months old (1 next week!) and has had some health issues that have been stressful: extended jaundice, UTIs, MSPI, reflux. We have also been sick almost constantly since Christmas: the flu, croup, bronchiolitis, double ear infections, colds colds colds!

He's also been pretty unhappy: has to be held, nurses frequently, screams in the car. When we went through the flu, I started nursing him in bed out of desperation (I was sick too). Even though I hadn't planned to co-sleep, it became a habit. Then I moved into his room and slept on a mattress on the floor with him since we didn't have room in our bed for DH, DS and me!

Things just got worse and worse, he was nursing all night and would wake up if I tried to sneak out to go to the bathroom. It was also typical for him to wake in the middle of the night around 2 and he would be up for an hour or two. I would bring him out to the living room. His naps have always been 20 minutes. I would nurse him for 15 or 20 minutes and then tiptoe him to his room and lay him down oh-so-carefully and if I was lucky he would give me a 15-20 minute window of time that I could take a shower or go scream into a pillow.

We planned to do Ferber a couple times, even arranging for DDs to visit my parents for the weekend. Then DS spiked a fever, so I cancelled my plans.

Finally, one week ago today, I just decided to do it spontaneously. He had just finished another stint of antibiotics for ear infections and he was clearly teething because he kept biting me every time I nursed. I was frankly feeling put out with him and he wouldn't nap that day so I just gave him some kisses and put him in the crib about 11 AM. I followed this schedule: http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferb...ferberize.html

The first afternoon, he cried for about 25 minutes? I went in 2 or 3 times and then he fell asleep. That night was similar. All week he has not cried more than 25 minutes which shocked me as he has screamed for hours on end on car trips. After 3 days he was crying about 10 minutes for naps and less at night. What I did was still let him get up to nurse every few hours and put him down awake in his crib afterwards. Since he had been sleeping with me and nursing constantly, this was huge progress.

Three nights ago, he woke 4 times to nurse which I knew was still way too much so two nights ago, I let him cry after his first wakeup. He fell asleep after less than 10 minutes and didn't wake again until 4 am. Last night he woke up only once to nurse (which is perfectly fine for me after this year of exhaustion).

The last few days he has taken naps that have been from 45 minutes to 1 hour 15 minutes. SO much better than the last 8 months of 20 minute naps! He has also been happy in general over the last few days and there has been less screaming in the car.

I am beyond happy with the results and I'm sorry this has gotten so long but I really want folks who are in similar desperate straits to be encouraged and to be willing to try it if your baby is old enough and there aren't extenuating health circumstances. I'm not sorry I waited because I don't think the time was right since he'd been so sick BUT I am sorry I dreaded it so much because it was not even close to as difficult or stressful as I thought it would be.

Thanks also for all the encouragement and advice about sleep that I have gotten here, it has helped a TON! Now I am just so happy to look forward to DS's first birthday party next weekend with a lot less stress and exhaustion clouding my brain!!!