WHY will a kid PEE in the potty but not poop?? (update #18)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

That is the 64 million dollar question over here!!!!

Unlike most kids who refuse to poop in the potty, we have ZERO withholding or constipation issues...DS poops at least 1x a day (sometimes twice), it is always super soft... he just does it in his underwear. Basically every day. He has only pooped in the potty maybe 5 times TOTAL. Ah, I am so thankful for my diaper sprayer

crazy thing is DS is 100% pee trained. I think it's been at least a week since he last wet his pants, maybe more. We can go on hour-long drives, go to restaurants, shopping, etc and he will hold it in the entire time. Going out is not an issue at all...i actually sometimes forget that he's no longer in diapers. He has a bladder of steel..he will wake up most mornings with a totally dry diaper, and he will be awake for like 20 minutes before taking his diaper off and using the potty (all on his own). He'll even dump his own pee from the Bjorn potty into the toilet, and then grab a pair of underwear from his drawer and put it on, all by himself. He does this on his own easily.

Yet, he refuses to poop in the freaking potty! He will just do it in his underwear and then ask us to change him.
What the frack???????It's NOT because he's too busy playing (which is his excuse)..because he will take time away to pee in the potty. Just not poo.

We have started taking away trains eveyrtime he poops in his underwear...he now has buckets of trains high up on the shelf that he can't play with anymore. We have promised him new Thomas trains/destinations that are displayed on the shelf if he poops on the potty. He doesn't seem to care. He will poop in his underwear and then almost happily hand over trains, like he doesn't recognize he's being punished. He just doesn't want to poo on the potty. I would give anything to know the reason why. There is no reason for it at all. It makes no sense.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Could be a position or comfort thing. Squatting is more natural than sitting on the toilet. Jmo but I'd stop punishing and just make him handle the clean up (with help). Then let it be. If you make a big deal, he will and it just might be something be can't control yet. He's still young. My ped said aim for ate 4 for potty training.

[twowhat?]

I think there was a passage (in Toddler 411 maybe?) that suggests telling him that he can let you know when he needs to poop and you will give him a diaper. Just to make cleanup easier for you...and then you slowly transition from pooping in the diaper, to pooping in the diaper in the bathroom, to pooping in the diaper while sitting on the potty, to finally pooping on the potty.

It doesn't answer the "Why" though

Oh another idea - have him dump his own poop from the diaper (or underwear) into the potty (or help you with the sprayer or whatever). Maybe he's afraid of the poop going in the potty and this could help with that.

And another thing is to talk to the daycare providers and just let them know what issues you're having - often someone other than mom or dad can convince a kid

I want to gag thinking about cleaning that much poopy underwear!!!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

LOL the cleanup isn't actually huge deal..before i went back to work i cloth diapered both kids so i have long been used to spraying off toddler poo.....only now it's just an underwear i'm spraying instead of a prefold and i only have to do it once a day vs. 5x a day (LOL). i swear, the MiniShower was the best $40 ever spent!! anyway, i guess the thing that gets me is that he CAN poo in the potty, he just doesn't WANT to, and that just baffles me!!

and he does always follow and watch when i clean off his underwear (and he always did when i would clean his poopy diapers)..doesn't seem to faze him. he uses only the bjorn potty for peeing, though when we are out he will use a public toilet.

we ordered some books about pooping that were mentioned here (Super Pooper, was one)..he likes to listen, but doesn't seem to have an effect. He just doesn't want to poo in the potty, for whatever reason.

i have talked to his teachers about it, but its a non issue at school bc he almost never poops at school..alwyas does it int he morning or after getting home from school. the teachers have talked to him about pooping in te potty, but it doesn't seem to make a lick of difference.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Could be a position or comfort thing. Squatting is more natural than sitting on the toilet.

hmm, this is interesting. come to think of it, all the time ds has pooped in his underwear, he is usually standing, not sitting.

though i don't know how you solve this. ah, this makes me think of when i lived in Japan and all those squatting toilets (hated those!).

[Still-in-Shock]

My niece did the same thing (although it may have been both poop and pee, I don't remember). I personally think she did it because she knew it drove my sister nuts. Niece would grab an overnight diaper and put it on, hide behind the couch, and then come out and change herself. They kept promising her all sorts of things, but she did not care. And one day it all stopped.

I think once it's no longer a hot topic, it may work itself out. But I do have another suggestion, that may not be popular. Have you considered not changing him after he does his business? Maybe if he had to deal with it for longer, then he would have a real incentive to use a bathroom.

[gatorsmom]

hmm, this is interesting. come to think of it, all the time ds has pooped in his underwear, he is usually standing, not sitting.

though i don't know how you solve this. ah, this makes me think of when i lived in Japan and all those squatting toilets (hated those!).

Have you tried offering candy every time he poops in the potty? Only when he poops in the potty does he get m&ms or a candy bar. Or, how about every time he poops in the potty he gets a new little toy? When Greenbean got tired of being bribed with candy and toys, bribing him with diet coke worked. In fact, when he said he needed to poop I'd get him a cold can of diet coke, baggy of little candies to munch on while sitting there and an ipad to distract him from the fear of it hurting. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I hope you get it figured out.

[georgiegirl]

Both of my kids went through this. However, they always asked for a pull-up to poop in. DD was barely 2 and pee trained and in underwear during the day (and at night by 2.75), but did not poop on the potty until 3.5. Yes, seriously. With DS, we only had a 5-6 month lag. I think it can be scary for a lot of kids (for some reason unknown to me.). Will he request a pull-up instead? I wouldn't punish because you don't want a kid who is withholding and will get constipated. We went through this with DD and she ended up being in miralax for a year, but she was fine once she started popping on the potty. She also refused to poop at daycare and was there full time.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I remember each DC going through a 6-8 week period where they could pee but not poop in the potty. One would poop in the naptime diaper. One had to be bribed heavily to try after every meal. We gave him Baseball Guys for each time something came out. Now we give him a hotwheels car fir every 2 poops.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

thanks everyone. and believe me, i've tried the bribing thing up the wazzoo...nothing. he loves candy and i'm offered him all sorts of candy (lollipops, whatnot) or even a cake if he poops on the potty. I've offered brand new trains he has been wanting. Still nothing. He just doesn't want to do it.