New Behavior, not sure what to do

[ArizonaGirl]

As per my previous post we are currently seeing a psychologist to deal with some behavioral issues that DS seems to be struggling with. We have an appointment to have a preschool screening on May 21 and an appointment with a child psychiatrist for evaluation May 31.

However, I need some guidance from you all because DH and I are at our wits end. He is really being extra defiant and the last two days he has been corrected at school and redirected and has looked at his teacher and peed in his pants. He has been potty trained in undies since almost 3. We just don't know how to respond to this.

I am at a complete loss and I just know that other people view my sweet baby as a monster.

[sariana]

Two days? My first guess would be illness, possibly a UTI? I know they're not common in boys, but they do happen.

Another possibility is stress. He possibly is reacting to your concern about his behavior, thus exacerbating the cycle.

Since you already have evaluations scheduled, just keep notes on these behaviors so that you can discuss them in context.

And don't worry about a "monster" label. Those who work with preschoolers have seen almost everything and understand how challenging that age is. And they know that some children need more support.

In the end, you can't control what other people think. You are doing what is best for your child.

ETA: if it makes you feel any better, my DD is nearly a year olde than your DS, and just tonight she peed on her floor after throwing a tantrum about cleaning up her toys. I don't think she did it on purpose, exactly, but she was just out of control in so many ways.

ETA2: And DD is my neurotypical child. DS is usually the challenge in our household. As for what to do about it, I wouldn't react to the wetting incident. You don't want to give him that power. At most maybe say something like, "Oh, what a shame; that must be really uncomfortable" so that you are turning the consequence back on him--i.e. you don't care that he wet his pants; he's the one who is suffering.

[Melbel]

I posted in your other thread about the possibility of PANDAS/PANS or Lyme, both of which can cause the behavior you described (we have seen urinary incontinence with Lyme too). Another potential infection that has strong neuro symptoms is Bartonella.

The doctors you are seeing may not be well familiar or well versed in these and other infections (most doctors are not). You will need to research on your own and be prepared to advocate. Do no assume they will run the correct tests, because in all likelihood they will not (personal experience that is is replicated countless times on support boards and in news stories).

I posted links in your other thread.

When searching your prior threads, I happened to see your post about termites. We had major issues in our old house, so we have unfortunate experience there. Two quick tips - first, make sure they or you (responsibility depends on whether you have a REPAIR bond, in addition to a re-treatment bond) open up the wall space and follow any damage. Termites come hand in hand with moisture which in turn can cause mold (which can also cause health problems). Second, make sure they are using Termidor, a highly effective treatment. If they are using and applying Termidor correctly, you will not have repeat infestations. We actually had the Bureau of Entomology oversee the application in our new house (they tested potency of the chemical and watched application). We had about $100K in termite damage in our first home, none of which was visible without opening up walls.

[pinkmomagain]

I would also consider if he may be constipated. I posted last week about dd being a different person until we figured out that she was very backed up and addressed it with Miralax. She went right back to her old self. Her behavior was very unusual: grumpy, growling...making animal noises when spoken to instead of using words, etc. She is 7.5!

[Sweetum]

We have been doing some epsom salt baths (wit some baking soda) every other day and that has helped calm DS down a bit and he is not as keyed up as he usually is, esp in "unfavorable" situations. If he is backed up, mag citrate might also help (is that what they have in Miralax?). We have also started to have him drink it more regularly esp since we don't have much time for baths lately.

As for dealing with the behavior, I agree with PP that you do not want to give it any attention (positive or negative). Ignoring behaviors is a skill that I learnt after much power struggles. It is still hard for me to ignore sometimes, but there are different ways to ignore is what I have learnt. For example, when DS is trying to hurt another child because he wants attention, my way of ignoring it would be to physically remove him and not acknowledge his act.