Um, 'Scuse Me?

[lizzywednesday]

YOU are pissed?

Eff you.

I have been LATE TO WORK for the past 2 weeks because YOU cannot be bothered to get OUR daughter ready for school TWO DAYS A WEEK because you have your "own ****" to do.

Well, I do too.

And calling what I did this morning (not wake you up, because in addition to being your wife and the mother of your daughter, I am apparently an alarm clock and YOUR mother as well) a "stunt" is bull****.

You are 38 years old. Last I checked, that makes you an ADULT.

(1) It is not MY fault that YOU switched off your alarm this morning.
(2) It is not MY fault that YOU fail to get out of bed when the alarm rings, rather than hitting "snooze" seven times.
(3) It is not MY fault that YOU were late this morning.

I do freely admit that it WAS my fault that DD was up 'til 9pm watching Disney Jr. I will work on that, fine, but you also have to take an interest in her when you come home, let us eat dinner at a reasonable time, and stop watching TV at a billion decibels.

I was angry with you for the last 2 weeks but didn't tell you why. I apologize for not telling you I find it EXTREMELY frustrating that you feel taking YOUR daughter to daycare drop off in the same direction as your office is a "favor" to me so that I don't have to sit in traffic and get to the office late the two stinking days I go into work ... and subsequently have to STAY LONGER (and sit in MORE TRAFFIC on the way home) because I didn't leave at my preferred time of 6:30am. (Seriously. 5 minutes late and my whole schedule is shot.)

That I find it unfair that not only do I have to rise at 5:30am to get myself ready but I also need to wake, dress, and schlep our 3-year-old downstairs in the mornings because you have your own **** to do.

And, no, I will not adjust MY schedule. I have already made adjustments, cut deals, and sacrificed time & effort into making THIS ONE work.

[oneplustwo]

I'm so sorry. Anyone in the family available to whack some sense into his head?

[bisous]

I'm so sorry. That is really, really frustrating. I would be angry too. I don't have an answer but I hope it gets better.

[Pennylane]

So frustrating! Hope he comes to his senses soon.

Ann

[twowhat?]

Um, wow. I'd get up and get yourself ready and get OUT THE DOOR without lifting a finger to get your 3yo ready. Ideally, get out the door before she wakes up! Let him deal with the consequences of not getting up on time.

It's not clear if he works or not but if not, or he can get into work later than you need to, there is no reason why you need to help him in the mornings!!!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Um, wow. I'd get up and get yourself ready and get OUT THE DOOR without lifting a finger to get your 3yo ready. Ideally, get out the door before she wakes up! Let him deal with the consequences of not getting up on time.

i actually do this sometimes (not to punish him, but bc i have a 30 min commute and DH does not). i sometimes leave before dh wakes up. if he sleeps in and gets them to school late, it's on him.

sorry you have to deal with this..i'd be infuriated too!!

[lizzywednesday]

Um, wow. I'd get up and get yourself ready and get OUT THE DOOR without lifting a finger to get your 3yo ready. Ideally, get out the door before she wakes up! Let him deal with the consequences of not getting up on time.

It's not clear if he works or not but if not, or he can get into work later than you need to, there is no reason why you need to help him in the mornings!!!

That's actually what I did that pissed him off in the first place. He does work, but he keeps more of a 9a-5p schedule than I do. I prefer 7:30a-3:30p, which allows me to bypass most of the heaviest volume of rush hour.

I do admit that it was fairly passive-aggressive, but I really REALLY needed to leave so I could sort stuff out at the office without having to come down from a road-ragey post-traffic anxiety haze.

He called it a "stunt."

Well, yeah, maybe it was, but seriously? I've been scratched, hit, bitten, kicked, peed on, pooped on, screamed at, and criticized while trying to get DD up & dressed and he continued to tell me what I was doing wrong. Now he got a sample of how frustrating it is to deal with her and get myself up & out ... and I'm the bad guy.

[twowhat?]

That's actually what I did that pissed him off in the first place. He does work, but he keeps more of a 9a-5p schedule than I do. I prefer 7:30a-3:30p, which allows me to bypass most of the heaviest volume of rush hour.

I do admit that it was fairly passive-aggressive, but I really REALLY needed to leave so I could sort stuff out at the office without having to come down from a road-ragey post-traffic anxiety haze.

He called it a "stunt."

Well, yeah, maybe it was, but seriously? I've been scratched, hit, bitten, kicked, peed on, pooped on, screamed at, and criticized while trying to get DD up & dressed and he continued to tell me what I was doing wrong. Now he got a sample of how frustrating it is to deal with her and get myself up & out ... and I'm the bad guy.

If you had already agreed with him that he be the one to get your DD ready and off to daycare on the days that you work, then what you did was absolutely NOT a stunt and he's being the jerk for not holding up his end of the bargain.

[BunnyBee]

Maybe he'd prefer a shared parenting arrangement...

Sorry he's being an asshat.

[happymom]

How frustrating! It sounds perfectly fair to me that your DH should be fully responsible for your DD's on the mornings that you go to work. Make that clear to your DH and then like PP's said, don't get at all involved with your DD. Just get yourself ready and out the door.

MY DH is self employed so he has some flexibility in the mornings. DD needs to be at playgroup by 9 (around the corner from out house). I need to be at work by 8:30.

I pick out clothes for DD the night before. If I have time in the morning, I will quickly pour her cereal or make her oatmeal- that's if I have time. Otherwise, its DH's "job" to get her dressed, her lunch made, breakfast fed, and out the door to playgroup.

I don't blame you for being annoyed!