Wedding drama

[lalasmama]

Oy vey. Is this thing over with yet? Oh yeah, I still have two months. I'll apologize in advance, because I'll be taking HUGE advantage of the BP over the next two months!

My best friend (and maid of honor!) can't be bothered coming to the bridal shower. Why? Because... oh, wait, she wasn't really clear on why not. She's been involved exactly... none. But maybe she'll come. She'll have to see that day.

My future-SIL planned the shower on my future-grandson's first birthday. Meaning my future-DSD won't be coming to my shower either. I understand why she won't be there--you'd have a hell of a time getting me away from my DH and DS if they had a joint b-day, let alone on a DS's FIRST birthday. And I feel terrible that I dropped the ball and didn't connect the shower date with baby's birthday. Now, future-DSD will be having the baby's party in the evening, meaning we will be having a crabby birthday boy

I had to pay for my sister to come to the shower. Yep. She didn't have the money to get here, so we paid for her to come down by train from 6 hours away. And then she has the gall to ask if I'll drive 90 minutes to pick her up, and then again to drop her off 2 days later, so she can see people up there... Because, you know, I'm an afterthought, despite the fact I'M PAYING FOR YOU TO BE HERE FOR MY BRIDAL SHOWER, not to see other friends that you barely keep in contact with!

Sadly, the last person I asked to be a bridesmaid is BY FAR the most excited. She's totally involved, wants to know every detail in a good happy friend sort of way. She and I have only been friends for about 18 months, and we're way more connected now than I am with my freakin' maids of honor!

SO's dad has offered to pay for several bigger-ticket items--the cake, the food, the church... and has forgotten that he offered any help at all. He's been in ill health, but completely lucid, just forgetful. UGH. Good thing we weren't actually counting on the help for all of it!

It's 2 months out and my birth mom is supposed to be there for the wedding. In the past when she's come for visits, she emails me the moment she buys the airline ticket. Haven't heard a lick about the airline ticket yet, which makes me wonder if she will actually attend.

My dress fits everywhere but the bust. And that's going to be the hardest part to fix, because of the boning and such. And the corset back won't "fix" it enough. It gapes right across the top. It's a size 16, and my tatas are NOT small, so maybe this dress was fashioned for Dolly Parton?

SO thinks a wedding can be planned in a matter of 2-3 weeks, about a month out from the wedding. So, I've been working on most of it alone.

Two months to go. I can do this.

I am so drinking after DD's in bed tonight.

[gatorsmom]

Oy vey. Is this thing over with yet? Oh yeah, I still have two months. I'll apologize in advance, because I'll be taking HUGE advantage of the BP over the next two months!

My best friend (and maid of honor!) can't be bothered coming to the bridal shower. Why? Because... oh, wait, she wasn't really clear on why not. She's been involved exactly... none. But maybe she'll come. She'll have to see that day.

My future-SIL planned the shower on my future-grandson's first birthday. Meaning my future-DSD won't be coming to my shower either. I understand why she won't be there--you'd have a hell of a time getting me away from my DH and DS if they had a joint b-day, let alone on a DS's FIRST birthday. And I feel terrible that I dropped the ball and didn't connect the shower date with baby's birthday. Now, future-DSD will be having the baby's party in the evening, meaning we will be having a crabby birthday boy

I had to pay for my sister to come to the shower. Yep. She didn't have the money to get here, so we paid for her to come down by train from 6 hours away. And then she has the gall to ask if I'll drive 90 minutes to pick her up, and then again to drop her off 2 days later, so she can see people up there... Because, you know, I'm an afterthought, despite the fact I'M PAYING FOR YOU TO BE HERE FOR MY BRIDAL SHOWER, not to see other friends that you barely keep in contact with!

Sadly, the last person I asked to be a bridesmaid is BY FAR the most excited. She's totally involved, wants to know every detail in a good happy friend sort of way. She and I have only been friends for about 18 months, and we're way more connected now than I am with my freakin' maids of honor!

SO's dad has offered to pay for several bigger-ticket items--the cake, the food, the church... and has forgotten that he offered any help at all. He's been in ill health, but completely lucid, just forgetful. UGH. Good thing we weren't actually counting on the help for all of it!

It's 2 months out and my birth mom is supposed to be there for the wedding. In the past when she's come for visits, she emails me the moment she buys the airline ticket. Haven't heard a lick about the airline ticket yet, which makes me wonder if she will actually attend.

My dress fits everywhere but the bust. And that's going to be the hardest part to fix, because of the boning and such. And the corset back won't "fix" it enough. It gapes right across the top. It's a size 16, and my tatas are NOT small, so maybe this dress was fashioned for Dolly Parton?

SO thinks a wedding can be planned in a matter of 2-3 weeks, about a month out from the wedding. So, I've been working on most of it alone.

Two months to go. I can do this.

I am so drinking after DD's in bed tonight.

I'm sorry. That stinks. When my wedding started to become thwt much trouble (bridesmaids that became difficult and backstabbing, money issues and travel issues), we eloped just the 2 of us to Italy. It was romantic and wonderful!

Let me know when you get to that point. I have the name and number of a fantastic destination wedding planner in Tuscany.

[oneplustwo]

Oohh, I think Lisa's on to something!

Hugs to you! It's still jaw-dropping amazing to me just how much a wedding brings out all this craziness in our loved ones, all on top of the usual stresses of planning a wedding. My head's still spinning from all the drama and stuff that came out before and during my wedding, and that was almost 15 years ago. So you have all my sympathies!

We will be here every step of the way for you over the next two months, so b!tch away.

Good luck with the dress!

[Ms B]

Just wanted to send positive thoughts your way . . .

The best advice I got when I reached your point was from a dear friend of mine who told me to focus on the important thing:

At the end of the wedding day, you will be MARRIED!!!!!!

Good luck and beotch all you need to . . . we are here for you!

[Still-in-Shock]

Planning a wedding is a hassle, and the more people involved, the bigger the hassle. Don't beat yourself up about the date for the shower being the same as you future GS' b-day. These things happen, and next year when you are married, no one will remember. What matters is that you will marry the right guy. As long as he, your officiant, you and the witnesses show up the day of the wedding (with the licence!!!!!!!), everything else is just gravy.

Hope things get easier for you soon.

[kellyd]

I'm so sorry!
I had the same issues w/ my BFF / MOH and another bridesmaid who was a newer friend. So I have an idea how awful that feels. God love excited bridesmaids.
I know this is the BP... but I'm going to offer a suggestion anyway. W/ your SO... give him something to do and tell him it needs booked/decided by X day... and then let it go... it's on him.

[wellyes]

I have to add my voice to the "eloping is AWESOME" chorus. I have never once regretted spending my cash on a long, luxurious two week honeymoon vs a few hours of pleasing relatives!

But -- since I know you're probably not going that route -- I will say, just remember, you are allowed to make your own happiness AS HIGH a priority as making your friends' happy. That doesn't make you bridezilla. Enjoy this as much as you can, despite the drama!