Please remove the burden that is my father from my life. The man comes to my house today. Within an hour, he is demanding supplies for his knee PT--because he forgot to bring what he needed. This, of course, is while I am cooking dinner and trying to help DS with homework. DH has taken DD to her violin lesson. He is swearing up a storm at a loud volume while DS is trying to do homework. Then he is walking around in his underwear because he left his sweats. He is not happy because I tell him he cannot walk around my house in his uw. He finds his sweats. Needless to say, his brain is not running on all cylinders these days and he gets royally ticked when we respond to him in reality--eg. losing his marbles vs. how he sees himself--sharp as a tack and any problems are with the rest of the world, not him. DS (not exactly Mr. Socially Mature) is looking at me like WTF through the whole thing.
This is a replay of my childhood. The man has no filter and ZERO boundaries. Whatever he is thinking MUST come out of his head emphatically and at loud volume. To hell with what anybody else thinks. His thoughts must dominate the landscape. I just want to yell STFU!!!!!! ugh.
He is here for eye surgery. Staying 2 nights with us while spending the days at my brothers. I don't want him here all day even though I am at work. And I owe my brother. The only reason I maintain contact is that he is a passable grandfather. And he is only really an asshole to me. Gee thanks.
I was not going to drink this week as part of my effort to lose 4 pounds in the next month. I had a vodka tonic going within 20-30 minutes of him hitting the door.
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Thread: Oh Dear Lord...
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05-13-2013 #1
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Oh Dear Lord...
Mom to:
DS '02
DS '05
Percy--the wild furry child!!! 2022----
Simon--the first King Charles cutie 2009-2022
RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012
"The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."
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05-14-2013 #2
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I have to admit, I wish I were a fly on the wall watching the underwear scene because it sounds hilarious right down to your DS's expression.
But I'm sorry you have to put up with that. And I don't blame you for pulling out the booze. Sounds like you totally deserved it. Was he that way toward his patients? Was he that way toward your mom?
I hope he is out of your hair sooner than planned." I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.
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05-14-2013 #3
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Lisa--he was amazing to his patients. They got the amazing person. His staff got way less than that. His family got the utter dregs. Its amazing. At my mom's memorial--the person her colleagues and students describes is the person I knew and loves so well. My dad's patients--I just used to stand there and stare at them like--who is this alien you are describing. But that's because patients glorify you. And family--well you can **** on them and they still have to love you. um, nope.
sigh.....Mom to:
DS '02
DS '05
Percy--the wild furry child!!! 2022----
Simon--the first King Charles cutie 2009-2022
RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012
"The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."
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05-14-2013 #4
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Ugh, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable. I hope your vodka kicks in soon.
Originally Posted by StantonHyde
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.
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05-14-2013 #5
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Thanks. I do my best to ignore him and keep contact to a minimum. The vodka tonic plus 3 glasses of wine later--and I am just fine.
Mom to:
DS '02
DS '05
Percy--the wild furry child!!! 2022----
Simon--the first King Charles cutie 2009-2022
RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012
"The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."
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05-14-2013 #6
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I'm sorry...I can kinda relate, my grandfather was like that..and my mother (his DD) is the same..apple didn't fall far. Originally Posted by StantonHyde
I keep saying to myself "DS has a better childhood" and work my arse off to make sure he does. Go buy more vodka..I think you'll need it.
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05-14-2013 #7
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I am so sorry. Glad your brother is taking part of the time.
Catherine
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05-14-2013 #8
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Ugh, I'm hoping his eye surgery goes well, so he can go home soon. I totally get everything you've said, down to the underwear (although not at our house, but that's mostly due to the fact that he rarely ever visits, but growing up, we were always afraid someone would come over when he was in his underwear) and him being a total a hole to his own wife and children. I remember responding with a blank look when patients told me how nice he was to them, he's only ever been mean ans nasty to me, so its hard to hear ppl talking about him as if he's a saint. I feel bad for my mom having to put up with him, but I loathe the thought of what will happen if she passes first. I will be in the same exact situation as you are in, and my father a horrible patient, so he's got multiple chronic health issues going on, that aren't properly managed, by his own choice. I say that you be liberal with that vodka during his stay, you'll need it. {{{hugs}}}
Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs
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