What the F can I say anymore?!

[Mopey]

I am really starting to be insulted by how other mothers and caregivers act about Mopey being a "good" baby. I just don't know what to say anymore when it always seems accusatory or incredulous that she could be so precocious, etc and so very adaptable. It's not like I am not grateful up and down every day for such a good kid! I'm in shock much of the time!! (I still cannot believe how easily she gave up the pacifier and that was over two weeks ago!)

I just have never known what to say and now the competition is so !(*&^!*&%&^% batty! ICK.

And she's not so freaking perfect: she's just like I was, starting to get into lots of physical trouble, and the couple times I have actually screamed "No!" because I was frightened for her safety she has just given me this hugedimpledsmileandkeptongoing. I actually had a rum last night after her two hour assault up and down the couch.

Phew.

Thanks for letting me vent!

[hellokitty]

I understand that you are frustrated, but let me show you the flip side. Today, I was at Office Max with my 3 boys. They were ok, not perfectly behaved, but not monsters. The cashier told me a minimum of FIVE times, that I must be a very patient person, b/c she doesn't know how I do it, blah, blah, blah. I just didn't respond to her weird comments. Also, your dd is only a little over a yr old. At that age, they are usually pretty manageable. Wait until they are 2-4 and ALLLL over the place and you may have another child or two by then to add to the chaos, it can snowball very quickly. Plus, one child could be perfectly behaved, while the other ones is a daredevil. Then you may think back to these days and realize why ppl seem incredulous that she is well behaved. Or, she may continue to be perfectly behaved, but even my friends with perfectly behave dd's, they all went through a phase around 4-6 that was rough and it shocked many of us that some of these girls who were normally so, "good" went though a phase too.

[Mopey]

Totally - I get it. I just think in my neighborhood there is an attitude about, a tone to their voices, and all the while it's true that she's not perfect and I'm completely aware how it all will change over the years, etc. People are competitive about their children around here and I don't really care about that so it just feels weird sometimes.

[janine]

Totally - I get it. I just think in my neighborhood there is an attitude about, a tone to their voices, and all the while it's true that she's not perfect and I'm completely aware how it all will change over the years, etc. People are competitive about their children around here and I don't really care about that so it just feels weird sometimes.

I hear you - I am also in a ridiculously competitive area (competitive over the wrong things in many cases). People strain their necks to see what the others are doing so they can do the same thing a bit better.
It is the same with the kids. I am a very 'tell it like it' person, a bit sarcastic and never dealt with Joneses before so it's been a challenge!! In a way I'm glad I have girly girls so I can avoid the whole sport scene.

At least they are saying good things to you (outloud at least)...the negatively laced comments are worse. See it on FB too btw.

[Simon]

Ds1 was received many of those comments in public and Ds2 gets it from nurses and Drs sometimes. In each case, I always responded for his benefit, not the random stranger making a comment. I would say things like, "Yes, we appreciate how flexible Ds is today. Its a big help." Or, "Yes, Ds does have good manners. He has been so patient while we eat/shop/wait in line." Other times we might say simply, "yes, we've very lucky/blessed/happy to have him." There is no real reason to engage with the person further, but I felt it was an appropriate time to acknowledge and comliment Ds.

[rin]

I'd just try to ignore it. We get things like that too, which is often hard because it's in front of DD1 (who has pretty much never been praised by strangers for being easy-going.) My responses to things like that are to give a big smile and say something like "Oh, she has her moments!" or "Yep, we've decided to keep her."

[megs4413]

I don't know in what way you mean 'good baby' (mine had lovely dispositions but didn't STTN early if that's what you mean) but i have gotten these comments on my kids for years and you really do have to learn how to deal with it. i feel like the way that has worked best for me is to JOKE like, "oh yes, it's the regular beatings. j/k" or "yes, I am terrified of their teen years....it's the quiet before the storm." or something to that effect. my kids were just born compliant. I don't know why. They're sweet, quiet, and well-behaved. AND BE ADVISED: if anyone asks for your advice, they don't really want it! they just want to see if you will take credit! I always say something like, "They came pre-programmed to me this way. If I had another one, s/he could be a total terror and I wouldn't know what to do about it!"

Just act baffled and say Thanks! I got super lucky!

and hey, congrats on your awesome kid! I think it's great!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I understand that you are frustrated, but let me show you the flip side. Today, I was at Office Max with my 3 boys. They were ok, not perfectly behaved, but not monsters. The cashier told me a minimum of FIVE times, that I must be a very patient person, b/c she doesn't know how I do it, blah, blah, blah. I just didn't respond to her weird comments. Also, your dd is only a little over a yr old. At that age, they are usually pretty manageable. Wait until they are 2-4 and ALLLL over the place and you may have another child or two by then to add to the chaos, it can snowball very quickly. Plus, one child could be perfectly behaved, while the other ones is a daredevil. Then you may think back to these days and realize why ppl seem incredulous that she is well behaved. Or, she may continue to be perfectly behaved, but even my friends with perfectly behave dd's, they all went through a phase around 4-6 that was rough and it shocked many of us that some of these girls who were normally so, "good" went though a phase too.

Word. My first was so incredibly easy and well-behaved that i wanted to have another one ASAP. he didn't cry much as baby, rarely wanted to be held, napped very well during the day and at night, and was just an easy baby. didn't even use a pacifier. things got a lot harder the more mobile he got, but then as he got older that part got easier.

then i had dd and wow, what a difference. she gave us a run for our money from day one. and then the lovely dynamic of two kids fighting. nothing was easy anymore. then going out with them i got comments like "wow, you must have your hands full." Nowadays the most popular comment is "oh wow, they both suck their thumbs still?" I am thinknig people just feel the need to make some sort of comment.

and that stinks about the competitiveness..i am, lucky that i feel a bit removed from that i guess bc my kids are like the opposite ends and are so different i know i can't "take credit" for anything. so i just automatically try to focus less on those things. also in our moms group i was lucky that most of the other mamas were not into the "mompetition" thing. i don't think i could deal with all that!

[BabyBearsMom]

I would just respond with a "thank you" and disregard any perceived accusation or incredulity.

[Giantbear]

I would turn to them and say "sure, now she is good, you should have seen her last night when she was doing 100mph on her tricycle with three cops behind her. And all the while on her cell phone"

You have to have fun with these moments