You've gotten such great advice from everyone, and I have nothing I can think of to add, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you.
You've gotten such great advice from everyone, and I have nothing I can think of to add, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you.
Last edited by avd3875; 07-19-2013 at 05:01 PM. Reason: spelling
Annemarie
DS 2003
DD 2009
DD1 - 1996
DD2 - 1999
DD3 - 2005
Surfaces are for working, not for storing. - Peter Walsh
Hoping today is a better day in your world.
Happy Healthy and Handsome DS 8/13
Maybe I missed this somewhere but how are you even sure that he gave your letter to the psychologist? He probably crumpled it up and tossed
it in the trash then just told you that he gave the letter to the pyschologist.
Your husband really sounds like an ass. Hang in there!!!
Corie
"A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight."
-fortune cookie
some good advice in the thread, and some i'm sure won't ring true to you for whatever reason. keep thinking things through.
i really hope today was a day with some sunshine.
mama to j karst, former 25 weeker, 12/06
I think it's a guy thing to want to rush to fixing things. Dh told our marriage therapist that he just wants to know what to do to fix things. She's making him focus on emotions - what I'm feeling, what he's feeling..and he just wants to know what to do to make things better. It's not that simple or quick to fix. No advice. Just commiserations.
I have every sympathy for you. But I don't get it. I've never read one positive thing about your DH. I've never read anything about him and your son having a good relationship. I just read that he's exasperated by DS and has said cruel things. And saying you broke DS. Maybe you think DS would be devastated, but you're the adult, you have to make tough decisions for DS's welfare. Anyway, I hope it works out in whatever way is best for your kids.
Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
6/08 - Preemies no more!
thank you all for your thoughts and support
as i'm sure you know, every detail of my life - good and bad - is not shared here. however, i will freely admit that i have sought advice and support for the harder, more difficult times here. so they are far more documented. and if i'm being totally honest, yes...it's pretty clear that things are not good. they're far from great. they're often really not good at all.
but, my children really do adore their dad. even DD, who i wasn't srue she would even recognize him given how little she saw him for months and months. yet, somehow, she knew it was her dad.
and yes, he's said some really awful, cruel things in days and times of frustration about both of the kids, and about me. and i'm not excusing that at all. never would. but i do know that he loves the kids. he's DS' best buddy and playmate...during the times that he's actually around. without his face stuck in a blackberry.
for nwo, i'm definitely not in a place in my life or marriage, where either of us is ready to walk away. not yet.
i grew up in a marriage that was together for the kids. i know the damage that it can cause. and it's fair to ask what i would want for my kids, if they were in my shoes.
this is an excruciatingly hard situation. i wish i had a better set of answers - for myself, for H, for my kids, for you guys.
but i don't. i'm just doing my best each day, and some days are better than others.
anyway, i wanted to say thanks. i'm going to step out of this tread, but i do appreciate the support and the advice and the hugs.
i know i've sought it many times.
mama to my awesome sporty boy (4/09) , precocious little girl (7/12) , and loving doggies (10/05 & 1/14)
Honey it is early days yet. I don't think you are going to have the answers to all those tough questions right away. You are going to have to work through this stuff and decide what you want and how to go about getting it. Only you know how the good and the bad measure up, only you know what is worth fighting for and what is worth giving up on. I wish you all the best as you travel this journey.
Molly
Lula '06 outgrew her allergy to milk & eggs, still allergic to peanuts and cats
Dolly '10
Good luck. I know it can't be easy. I hope everything works out well and you get to a better place.
Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
6/08 - Preemies no more!