I am such the second rate worker in our house

[hillview]

I have a good job. I am paid well albeit not as well as DH. I had my calendar booked for 2 months for these last 2 days. A set of meetings in town but where I needed to be at work early and home late. DH has it in his calendar, it is in our family calendar, his admin has it, we talked about it (it was a big meeting for me). This morning he wakes up and at 630 checks his email and says, oh I have to go, I have a meeting at 730. I was like WTF, NO I have a meeting and am getting ready to go. But well he wins. He went. I hung out and waited for the sitter. This afternoon I emailed him asking how it was going, when will you be getting home. He says he will be home at 7. NO I HAVE A MEETING. WTF. $1000 says that if I hadn't asked him he just wouldn't have gotten home. I called my dad and he took care of the boys and I left my meeting early to get home mid dinner. The thing is, it is JUST HOW IT IS. It annoys me to no end but at the end of the day. That is just how it works for him. I get that crap comes up at work it is the failure to communicate (or communicate in an understanding way) that pisses me off to no end.

ok that is all.

[Philly Mom]

I understand completely. For a long time DH's job was much more all consuming so I took care of childcare issues. Now he has a much less demanding job but it requires travel. I put my own travel on The calendar months in advance. Inevitably he will have to travel when I do, never telling me until the last minute and then I have to be the one who scrambles for childcare. So frustrating.

[crl]

That would drive me nuts. I am sorry.

Catherine

[hillview]

Ok I just told DH he needs to make a plan and get back to me on what the plan is for this to just not happen. he has a FULL TIME admin. This just cannot happen. NO idea if this will work but DH agreed ...

[specialp]

That’s good to make it his job to come up with something workable since your Herculean efforts aren’t doing the trick. So sorry. This would infuriate me to no end.

[Fairy]

Sucks. Freaking sucks. I'm with you, this is often me. He doesn't forget or spring at the last minute, but 9 x out of 10, my meetings are trumped by his. I don't know how Ikeep getting away with it at my work.

(((Hugs)))

[pinkmomagain]

My way around this is to never, never count on DH. I just eliminate him from the picture when it comes to needing help on a work day. Sitters, family...I just automatically go to someone else to cover, because it will just end up in anger and disappointment. To his credit, he is more of a help on the weekends. But during the week, I have come to accept that work is a priority for him and really, we all benefit from it.

[TwinFoxes]

You've got every right to be pissed off. I hope he figures something out.

[elektra]

I totally hear you hillview. Things actually came to a bit of a head for us this week in a similar scenario. I, as well as my dad, were left having to deal and it really sucked. Let me know what you guys come up with!

[egoldber]

We had something similar happen a couple years ago. DH was supposed to keep the kids home with him in a gap 3 days between school and camp. He forgot and scheduled a business trip. I was busy and flat out REFUSED to find the back up care and deal with the fallout. Made him call around to camps and sitters in the area and find another another plan. Then there was a stack of camp paperwork to deal with and I made him do that too. I threw an unholy fit about why was it always MY job to deal with child care when we BOTH work. He complained it wasn't in his calendar and again my response was NOT MY JOB!!!!!

I have to say he has never done it since.