Can we talk doulas?

[sarahsthreads]

Very long story short, I had a doula for DD2's birth, and not DD1's. I was far, far happier with the way things went with DD2. But my doula from that birth does not work as a doula anymore.

I've been putting off calling around to find someone else for several weeks because I feel overwhelmed by the idea of trying to find someone I'd "click" with as well. However, I'm 34 weeks...it's find someone now or go without. If you've hired a doula recently, can you tell me what kinds of questions you asked (beyond the obvious - availability & fees) to try to gauge whether a doula was a good fit?

I have a list from both DONA and a local birth network, and some of them I can cross off because I have notes about not feeling like they'd be a good fit from last time (as odd as it is, I just found the list from last time cleaning out a bookcase!) but that still leaves a good dozen names...and of course my notes don't include whatever questions I might have asked back then.

Help me stop being paralyzed with phone shyness and come up with a script of sorts? Or at least some questions?

Thanks!
Sarah

[lizzywednesday]

No tips, but I have the same phone paralysis issue that you do and love that you're suggesting a script to get around it.

I do not do well in cold-call situations.

[nupe]

Did you ask your prior Doula for recs foir a new doula? How about asking the lactation consultants at the hospital? I just popped into the bra fitting shop there in the hospital and asked for some names. I remember using the DONA list of questions to interview doulas.

I had a doula for #2 and not for #1. LOVED having her there!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think step 1 is figuring out what you want/ need from a doula and what you want/ need/ expect from dh. My dh was super involved and, in hindsight, I could have done without the doula for physical and emotional support. I did like having her b/c she gave us new ideas of coping techniques and was great to ask, "is this normal?". With ds2 we didn't use a doula. I just used techniques I learned in yoga and dh was great again. So, I think I'd find out how a doula would work with your dh and if she would be there to make up any short comings he might have or just be there to support both of you. Have you had a baby at the hospital you plan to have this one at? If not, maybe find a doula who knows that place well. Mine was able to get me a good nurse that "got" birth without pain meds. she also knew what stuff they had on hand that would be helpful- balls, snacks...

Good luck!

[BabyBearsMom]

I would want to make sure that she is someone whose beliefs mesh with your birth plan. For example, if you want an epidural, you wouldn't want a Doula who is opposed to pain intervention. But if you don't want an epidural, you might want a Doula who is going to advocate hard for you about that. Also, I would probably want a Doula who has experience at the hospital where I was giving birth. It is nice if they have a positive relationship with the doctors and nurses there.

[Katigre]

Can you email them with preliminary questions?

Sent from my Android phone using Swype

[sarahsthreads]

Actually...DH is the one pushing for us to hire a doula again.

He's good at many things, but labor support is not one of those things. He was (a little) better with DD2 than DD1, but I think part of that was knowing he wasn't 100% responsible for supporting me. Switching to a midwife group and the fact that I was the only person on the L&D floor that night (so the nurse and my midwife never left the room) probably didn't hurt either. But I swear my doula could read my mind - before I could even say I was hot she had cold washcloths on my neck, and so on...

Sarah

[sarahsthreads]

Can you email them with preliminary questions?

Sent from my Android phone using Swype

I *could*, but I feel like I'd have an easier time knowing whether I wanted to meet for an in-person interview if I spoke with them over the phone. It's so hard to read tone in an email.

Sarah

[Nemesia]

I'm not at my computer right now, but I googled "doula questions" or something like that, and found several lists of questions to ask our doula. I agree with Nupe - can you ask your former doula for recommendations? Good luck!

[waitingforgrace]

I think you can narrow it down quite a bit with that first phone call. I had a doula for both girls and each doula was great. We lived in different states so couldn't have the same one.

Just start with the preliminary "I'm looking for a doula, est due date is X, are you available? This is my second child so I don't need much prenatal support, I'm primarily looking for labor support at home and then at the hospital. I'm delivery at X hospital with X group. Have you worked with these midwives before? What are your thoughts on pain meds...."

I found conversation moved along well and with most I could tell just from the call whether I would like them. I also had no problem saying "thank you for speaking with me I'll be in touch if I want to see up an in-person meeting." (Meaning-we're not a good fit, I'll never call you)