Please tell me it is ok to Ferberize her

[tg_canada]

mommylamb, I've deleted the link. If you edit your post to edit out the link from your quote of mine, then it won't be referenced in this thread anymore.

If you also edit out my quotes, the OP doesn't need to read my responses which didn't answer her question directly.

Very sorry for taking your thread off topic OP.

[mommylamb]

tg_canada, now I feel bad for saying anything. I really didn't mean to say that you were trying to make her feel bad. Just that I thought that article wasn't fair. I will go and edit out the link and quotes, but I don't think it's necessary to do so. I'm sorry.

[tg_canada]

It's okay, please don't feel bad. I was a long time poster at a couple other communities which I've left due to some changes there and I guess I forget that people in a new community won't understand my posting style or my personality yet. I'm thinking I just don't quite fit in here; it happens!

[mommylamb]

PMed you.

[Staraglimmer]

Thanks everyone. Basically, I read the book and lots of articles. I feel like I am traumatizing her. I just wanted someone to say I'm not the worst mom ever if I let her cry. I did not see the article but I understand that it isn't for everyone. I'm open to other ideas. Mostly I just wanted to feel better. Sorry.

[Pilotbaby]

Sorry you are struggling with sleep issues. I don't know what article people are referencing but since you are open to other ideas, have you considered a milder form of letting her cry? There is a sleep consultant named Kim West who uses a fairly gentle approach in which she does let the child cry but you stay right there next to them. She has a website and a FaceBook page as well as a book. Can't think of the name of it at the moment but if you are interested, I can give tell you a little bit more about it.Good luck to you!

Thanks everyone. Basically, I read the book and lots of articles. I feel like I am traumatizing her. I just wanted someone to say I'm not the worst mom ever if I let her cry. I did not see the article but I understand that it isn't for everyone. I'm open to other ideas. Mostly I just wanted to feel better. Sorry.

[BabyBearsMom]

Thanks everyone. Basically, I read the book and lots of articles. I feel like I am traumatizing her. I just wanted someone to say I'm not the worst mom ever if I let her cry. I did not see the article but I understand that it isn't for everyone. I'm open to other ideas. Mostly I just wanted to feel better. Sorry.

You are not the worst mom ever. My DD1 is in no way traumatized by it.

[Katigre]

Thanks everyone. Basically, I read the book and lots of articles. I feel like I am traumatizing her. I just wanted someone to say I'm not the worst mom ever if I let her cry. I did not see the article but I understand that it isn't for everyone. I'm open to other ideas. Mostly I just wanted to feel better. Sorry.

Here's the thing - if you feel you are traumatizing your child or are traumatized yourself by a given method, then that to me says DON'T DO IT. Listen to your mommy instinct. There are other options.

First, let's talk about what you need in terms of her sleep - what are the big issues? If you could only fix ONE of her sleep problems right now, what would you choose?

Sent from my phone, pardon my typos!

[Green_Tea]

Thanks everyone. Basically, I read the book and lots of articles. I feel like I am traumatizing her. I just wanted someone to say I'm not the worst mom ever if I let her cry. I did not see the article but I understand that it isn't for everyone. I'm open to other ideas. Mostly I just wanted to feel better. Sorry.

Oh my goodness - teaching your child to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night is a GIFT to them. Our lives changed drastically - and for the better - when we bit the bullet and Ferberized DD1. She was so much happier once she was getting the sleep she truly needed. I fully believe in meeting my child's needs, and sleep is a need. Did she like the change in routine? Nope. But babies don't get to call the shots. They don't get to choose to eat cookies all day, or play with knives, and I had no problem seeing my baby cry when I wouldn't let her do those things because I knew that even if it upset her not to get her way, it was in her best interest. I knew she needed more sleep than she was getting, so I made sure she got it. She was not traumatized in the least, and now, at 10.5 years old, is still a crackerjack sleeper.

Are there other effective ways to teach a baby to sleep? Sure. If they work for you and your family, try them. But Ferber's method is, in most cases, highly effective and I encourage you to give it a try.

[elektra]

Oh my goodness - teaching your child to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night is a GIFT to them. Our lives changed drastically - and for the better - when we bit the bullet and Ferberized DD1. She was so much happier once she was getting the sleep she truly needed. I fully believe in meeting my child's needs, and sleep is a need. Did she like the change in routine? Nope. But babies don't get to call the shots. They don't get to choose to eat cookies all day, or play with knives, and I had no problem seeing my baby cry when I wouldn't let her do those things because I knew that even if it upset her not to get her way, it was in her best interest. I knew she needed more sleep than she was getting, so I made sure she got it. She was not traumatized in the least, and now, at 10.5 years old, is still a crackerjack sleeper.

Are there other effective ways to teach a baby to sleep? Sure. If they work for you and your family, try them. But Ferber's method is, in most cases, highly effective and I encourage you to give it a try.

You are going to get different answers to your question depending on who you ask, but this is my personal take it this topic as well.
We actually tried a "gentler" way, as it is upsetting to hear your baby cry for you and I wanted to at least try something else first. In our case, I think it was even more upsetting for all involved and got us no closer to sleeping. With the No Cry Sleep Solution, you soothe, rub back, leave, (can't remember it all TBH) but it was like I had to leave 15 times and DD would get distraught 15 times when I finally left the room, instead of just once like when we did Weissbluth's method! What dragged on for months with No Sleep Cry Solution was done in 2 days with Weissbluth. We were at our wits' end and my only regret is not just going straight to Weissbluth.