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  1. #21
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    I don't know any child who was traumatized by Ferber or the more extreme CIO. If your child has certain health issues, I understand some mds are against it and that makes sense but sleep is a gift. We have always allowed DD to cry at night once we were ready for sleep training. The actual sleep training to begin with took a few days and then she never cried more than 10 mins before falling asleep. She only cries now if we are in a hotel room together. Otherwise she goes to bed easily or with a small whine. She always wakes up happy and has from the day we sleep trained her.

  2. #22
    Katigre is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philly Mom View Post
    I don't know any child who was traumatized by Ferber or the more extreme CIO.
    I actually do know more than a few adults who were traumatized by cio as babies and still have sleep issues. I think that it can work fine without I'll effects for some but not for all, and that is why I think if this mom's gut is saying "not ok!" She should listen to it and not quash it.


    Sent from my phone, pardon my typos!
    Last edited by Katigre; 08-15-2013 at 08:17 PM.
    Mom of 4: Boy (10), Girl (7), Boy (4), Girl (2)

  3. #23
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    sntm is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    This may be OT and badly so, but it reminded me of going to brunch with a friend of mine who is single, childless and Eastern European with notorious intimacy issues. I was lamenting dS2's sleep and she said when she was two months old, her dad shut her nursery door and forbade her mother from going in until the morning, and she suggested that as an option. It just made me laugh.

    You know, I was never comfortable with CIO techniques and my accidental use of them when ill failed miserably but I know great parents of all persuasions with happy well adjusted kids. I agree in listening to your gut - if you don't feel comfortable there is probably a reason why. But if it feels like the right choice, give it a try and stop if it begins to feel wrong.
    shannon
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    Another Queen of the House of Boys:
    DS#1 2003
    DS#2 my mother's day gift 2012
    DH
    Mikey, the cat and rhinestone-collared, pink-leashed Schatze, our Rottweiler girl

  4. #24
    Staraglimmer's Avatar
    Staraglimmer is offline Bargain Alerts forum moderator
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    Thanks everyone! I guess DDs are very different. Thanks for the ideas and commiseration.
    Stephanie

    Mommy to two little girls,
    April 2008
    June 2012

    and a baby boy
    Oct 2018

  5. #25
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    After rocking DD to sleep for 8 months, I decided that I couldn't take it any longer and we decided to sleep train her by letting her CIO. At first I was trying to check and console every 10-15 minutes but that seemed to make things worse for her. She cried even harder. My husband told me to just let her CIO at that point. I had to get out of the house a little bit because I couldn't stand to hear her screamed (she's a screamer from birth and a bit colicky too for the first 3 months) and kept telling myself that we weren't abandoning her, it's a good thing to teach her how to fall asleep on her own. First night she cried for almost 2 hours off and on and I thought I was going to die from that and just when I decided to walk into her room, She stopped and slept until the next morning to feed. The next day 1 hour, and after that about 30 minutes...the whole process took her about a week or so and finally no cry and just whined a little bit and went to sleep until today, she's going to be 3 1/2 and never had much problem with her sleep since then.
    Some parents are more comfortable with check and console instead of going cold turkey, but with DD, we knew check and console wouldn't work for her. Good luck.

    Now I have a 5 1/2 month old DS that's a terrible napper, but good night sleeper, so I just have to wait and see how things go as he grows older.
    Last edited by babyfiorina1; 03-26-2014 at 10:19 AM.

  6. #26
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    Every child is different. We Ferberized DS at 10 months. It took less than a week, and he's a fantastic sleeper and a very well-adjusted kid.

    We tried Ferberizing DD. The first trial she was worse three days in than on the first day. We stopped and gave her what she clearly needed. About a month later we tried again with success. Within a week instead of waking and crying every 40 minutes or so, she was sleeping several hours at a time, but she was still not a great sleeper. After a looong stretch like this where I was not sleeping properly due to getting up and doing checks and being unable to fall back asleep, my body started breaking down. I was diagnosed with clinical exhaustion, and both my doctor and our pediatrician said they would have to hospitalize me if I didn't turn off the monitor. I did. She was and continues to be fine. She wakes every night at about midnight and cries for a few minutes. I don't go in, and she falls back asleep. She's never going to be a great sleeper, I think, and in the end, doing nothing was more effective for both of us than any method. What's more, a traumatic process that had been going on for over a year was fixed in a few nights.

    I think you really do need to trust yourself and your knowledge of your child. I do not think letting your child cry for a while will definitely traumatize her, but it might if your child is an easily traumatized kid. There are kids who can't watch Sesame Street without having nightmares, for example. If you are concerned, stop. Take a break. Wait a couple of weeks and try a different method, or try Ferber again. The important thing is to know your child and trust your gut.

  7. #27
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    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    14 month, bless you. Whew.
    I used Ferber with one of my kids at 8.5 months and it really worked well. We all slept much better.
    I wish you good luck and a GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

  8. #28
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    mommylamb is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    This thread is really old, and must have gotten picked up accidentally.
    DS1 6/07

    DS2 2/12

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