3rd update/dilemma/ in #22-progress undone -IEP changes made without my consent

[crl]

Best of luck getting things resolved to your satisfaction quickly!

Catherine

[egoldber]

Did your meeting ever get scheduled?

[JustMe]

Did your meeting ever get scheduled?

Thanks so much for asking! No, no meeting scheduled yet.
We tried to arrange a meeting through e-mail and even with me being as flexible as possible (willing to miss work for everything except for the meetings I really needed to), we could not come up with a time this week. Then, my "advocate" spoke with big wig #1, who really had no idea why we were setting up a meeting. Big wig #2 had just told her there was a parent meeting. Big wig #1 asked my advocate to ask me to write all of my concerns in an e-mail to her (even though I had already done that to big wig #2). However, she also said to my advocate that it sounds like we need to have another IEP meeting.

I do not want to have another IEP meeting before having this smaller meeting, as the big meetings are unproductive and tortuous due to some of the team members (IMHO, of course). So, I am working on writing a new e-mail to big wig #1 but decided to take a break last night and today. I have been so angry and preoccupied with this that I just needed a break...and when I am at work I check my personal e-mail lots of times to see if there is a response is I send something out. So, like I said decided to take a break from that to re-group and then decide how to be diplomatic, yet produce a result.

Also, I am meeting with the friend I mentioned tomorrow night. So, I am torn btwn working on the e-mail right now or waiting to see if my friend has ideas. Like I said she is a mediator (not school-parent, but has mediation training) and in general has wonderful ideas.

[Sweetum]

Thanks so much for asking! No, no meeting scheduled yet.
We tried to arrange a meeting through e-mail and even with me being as flexible as possible (willing to miss work for everything except for the meetings I really needed to), we could not come up with a time this week. Then, my "advocate" spoke with big wig #1, who really had no idea why we were setting up a meeting. Big wig #2 had just told her there was a parent meeting. Big wig #1 asked my advocate to ask me to write all of my concerns in an e-mail to her (even though I had already done that to big wig #2). However, she also said to my advocate that it sounds like we need to have another IEP meeting.

I do not want to have another IEP meeting before having this smaller meeting, as the big meetings are unproductive and tortuous due to some of the team members (IMHO, of course). So, I am working on writing a new e-mail to big wig #1 but decided to take a break last night and today. I have been so angry and preoccupied with this that I just needed a break...and when I am at work I check my personal e-mail lots of times to see if there is a response is I send something out. So, like I said decided to take a break from that to re-group and then decide how to be diplomatic, yet produce a result.

Also, I am meeting with the friend I mentioned tomorrow night. So, I am torn btwn working on the e-mail right now or waiting to see if my friend has ideas. Like I said she is a mediator (not school-parent, but has mediation training) and in general has wonderful ideas.

Hi! I was just thinking about mediation. I think you would be able to go to the website of dept of education for your state and find a link there. I don't think you need a lawyer for that but be clear on what you want. I have no experience with this, but I know a mom in my area doing this everytime her IEP team challenged a service. HTH. And lots of luck!

[JustMe]

Hi! I was just thinking about mediation. I think you would be able to go to the website of dept of education for your state and find a link there. I don't think you need a lawyer for that but be clear on what you want. I have no experience with this, but I know a mom in my area doing this everytime her IEP team challenged a service. HTH. And lots of luck!

Thanks for the idea! I have heard of/thought of mediation, but another BBBer once e-mailed me a link way back poking fun at spec ed mediation and the basic point is that they are totally alligned with the school district, and the parent ends up signing away some rights. I don't know anyone who has used it IRL, so don't know if that is true.

[JustMe]

So, there has still been no meeting. They are trying to set up a regular IEP meeting with the whole IEP meeting where they will review the IEP that was creating without my knowing or consent. The "advocacy" group seems to support the school district on this, saying they don't bring up legal things (such as that the IEP was created/changed without my consent), so I feel pretty hopeless about the whole thing. I will look into mediation some more, but I dont know if that will help anything. I feel like I just need to give up on the school district and do what I can through other means--which is not that easy either.

I feel pretty hopeless, but if anyone has anything else to contribute I would love to hear it. thanks,

[KpbS]

I'm really sorry. What a mess. Are there any parochial schools near you that have programs that would be more accommodating for your DD? Our small school does a really good job with kids who have LD and some special academic needs. It is also very affordable for a private school.

[inmypjs]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. My quick suggestion is to be sure to bring someone else (not from the district or advocacy agency) with you to the next meeting. Introduce them as your friend or whatever, and have them write down everything that is said. You can also bring something to record the meeting. I know of several people who feel their meetings have gone much better because everyone there clearly sees that what they say is being documented.

[JustMe]

Thank you so much for the new replies so far. It really is so difficult, and I appreciate the support.

There are no appropriate private schools around here.

I am trying to have a friend (who is trained in mediation, but will just be there as a friend) to come to the meeting. She is willing, but setting up meeting times is so difficult, and there are work-related things she cannot miss, that I am not sure if it will work out or not. I am going to see if anyone I know has a small tape recorder. Thanks again!

[Sweetum]

aren't they supposed to hold an IEP within 30 days of receiving a request from the parent? has it not been 30days?