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  1. #1
    JanBaby is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default How do you make time for sex?

    Like many people, DH and I both work full time, our weekends are jam packed with activities, errands, etc and while DS takes an afternoon nap, DD at 5 does not. This basically leaves us a small window of opportunity after both kids go to bed. DH can DTD any time, any place but 9:00 at night after a busy day is not my ideal time for sex. I would rather go to bed with a book!

    Sex is more important to DH but since I know this, I try to make sure we DTD once a week, almost always on a Friday or Saturday night. He wants me to basically jump his bones but that's not going to happen - I tend to be in the mood in the morning or afternoon, not at the end of the day, but I know that it's easiest to do it at night after the kids go to bed. It's creating some tension because he feels like I'm doing it out of duty where I would say I'm doing it because I know how important it is to him. Really, it's just not a good time for me to be intimate.

    So, has anyone come up with any creative solutions to carve out other times for sex? I've asked him to try and meet at home early on a Friday but I think that happened once. Early mornings before the kids get up isn't an option.
    DD 1/2009
    DS 12/2011

  2. #2
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Well, you shot down my idea of mornings. It doesn't have to be set the alarm early type stuff. If you just start the day off with a quick interlude, it usually gets you more interested in making time for it later in the day too. It's kind of like they say about kids and sleep- sleep begets sleep; same goes with this. The more you do it, the more inclined you are to do it more.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Well, you shot down my idea of mornings. It doesn't have to be set the alarm early type stuff. If you just start the day off with a quick interlude, it usually gets you more interested in making time for it later in the day too. It's kind of like they say about kids and sleep- sleep begets sleep; same goes with this. The more you do it, the more inclined you are to do it more.
    I don't know when else you can do it, unless you want to park them in front of the TV and hope for the best. Or maybe do. Drop off play date for your older DC, at the same time the little one naps?
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  4. #4
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    Early in the morning
    Sunday afternoon is mandatory mommy/daddy nap time with the door locked. Child gets to watch a movie while mom and dad 'sleep'
    Shoot for an earlier bedtime a couple times a week.
    ~~AngelaS~~
    Mommy to 3 girls: A, G and M. (15, 11 and 8.5)

    The education of all children, from the moment that they can get along without a mother's care, shall be in state institutions at state expense.
    Karl Marx, "The Communist Manifesto"

  5. #5
    JanBaby is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Right now DS is in our bed in the mornings which is why I said mornings are out. Plus DH is not a morning person at all (but he should have to compromise on the time too, right)? The mandatory mommy/daddy nap time is intriguing. DD is a zombie in front of the TV so it could work while DS naps.
    DD 1/2009
    DS 12/2011

  6. #6
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    We do weekend naptime during DS's nap. If the girls are going to be up late, they will lay down and read for an hour, otherwise they watch a movie. We lock our door. I am always exhausted by evening so occasional daytime intimacy is important for me.
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  7. #7
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    I think your 5yo is in need of a weekend playdate during naptime. Or, park that kid in front of the tv once in a while ... its for an excellent cause!

    or maybe one night immediately after the kids go to bed?
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  8. #8
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JanBaby View Post
    Right now DS is in our bed in the mornings which is why I said mornings are out. Plus DH is not a morning person at all (but he should have to compromise on the time too, right)? The mandatory mommy/daddy nap time is intriguing. DD is a zombie in front of the TV so it could work while DS naps.
    Meet in the bathroom, laundry room...in the AM.

  9. #9
    Gracemom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    My kids are older, but we drop them off at a gymnastics open gym for parents night out and go back home and have the house to ourselves. We love it!

  10. #10
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    After the kids go to bed. We have early risers (like 5:30), so morning isn't going to work.
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

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