Potty Training help

[peafive]

Over the weekend we tried to potty train our DS using the boot camp method. We tried to build it up that he would start using the potty and we were going to give him M&Ms and stickers when he went to the potty. We got rid of the diaper and just put him in underwear the first day. He kept having accidents and immediately after he would have an accident we would put him on the potty. The first day was a disaster and we just put him back in his diaper because he refused to go on the toilet. The second day, we put him in a diaper because it seemed like it wasn't working. He literally held his pee and poop all day. His diaper was completely dry, and finally he went on the potty near the end of the day. Since potty training wasn't working, we put him in a diaper again for the third day. He kept telling us that he needed to go potty, and we would go to the bathroom, but he would change his mind in there. We knew he had to go, and he went a couple of times in this diaper, but over all he seems to be too scared to use the potty or even go in his diaper. He also hasn't really been eating or drinking anything since we started potty training. We know he can hold it and he can tell us when he needs to go potty, is there any advice on how we can actually get him to go on the potty? We spent hours in the bathroom with him trying to get him to go. We tried to tell him he would get treats, we brought books and toys in their, and we tried to tell him he was a big boy. The one thing that is worrying me is he isn't going to the bathroom at all. Any help is greatly appreciated. My DH and I are both very frustrated with this.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That's why we quit for a few months with ds1. No one wins in a power struggle like that! My advice is to just back off. Let him use the diaper. Don't make a big (any) deal out of it. No reminding him regularly that he's old enough to use the toilet or other nudges. Just seriously take a break. He's not ready. You don't say how old?

With ds2, it took 6 diaper free days to get it. But, we stuck it out bc, unlike ds1, he was still eating and drinking like normal and not holding it all day. You don't want to cause UTIs or constipation.

[peafive]

I'm fine with him going back to the diaper, it's just frustrating because he won't go in the diaper or the potty. I just want him to be comfortable. Right now he's 2 and a half and will be 3 in June.

I agree with not wanting UTIs or constipation. He's miserable when he doesn't go to the bathroom. He wasn't playing and was just mopey all day. When he finally went to the bathroom, he was himself.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd just diaper like nothing happened and follow his lead. Fwiw, my stubborn ds1 potty trained easily and in a day a few months after that power struggle attempt. When he was ready, it was easy.

[mmommy]

When we did the bootcamp method, day 1 was messy, but we went ahead and continued on day 2, which was when the switch flipped and there were no more accidents. I'd give in a few months in diapers so you can all reset, and then try again when you sense he's ready.

[okinawama]

When we did the bootcamp method, day 1 was messy, but we went ahead and continued on day 2, which was when the switch flipped and there were no more accidents. I'd give in a few months in diapers so you can all reset, and then try again when you sense he's ready.

I too would back off for a bit. With DS1,we did the 3 day potty training method, and we didn't have a single solitary success on day1, day 2 I think we had a few successful pee's, but many many accidents still. but something clicked half way through the third day, and he got it, he didn't have another accident after noon on day 3, and on Day 4 we sent him to preschool in underwear and he came home dry. I shared our experience with two of our friends and encouraged them to push past the first two very messy days, and they too found for their kids that something just seemed to click on that 3rd day.

[Simon]

It sounds like he is ready to use the potty, can hold and release as needed, but maybe it was a little too much pressure/excitement for him. Some kids do better without all the fanfare. I think it sounds like he doesn't want to go in the diaper because he knows you really want him to use the potty, but he's a little anxious about that, too. Personally, I wouldn't go backwards so I'd scale back on the pressure and put the potty in front of the TV or do some other relaxing activity and have him just sit there. No pressure to go right away and let him relax and take his time. Spending hours in the bathroom doesn't sound like much fun for anyone. I'd give him your planned reward (maybe 1 M&M) just for sitting on the potty and even trying, not just for "success." I'd give him a diaper at night and maybe during nap time if it makes you all feel better but I wouldn't give up entirely. I'd be calm and confident. "I know you can do it, Ds, and it may take a few days to learn but that's okay."