Random thoughts: men/women cultural norms when traveling

[vtmom]

In some parts of the world, women traveling alone draw attention. Western women draw attention. I went out of my way to not draw attention and was always conservatively dressed - that includes covering my shoulders. Short sleeves are fine, tank top was out. I also wore clothing that wasn't form fitting. Here I'd argue I can wear what ever I damn well want. When in another country, particularly one where women are not treated well, my safety comes before my principles.

I traveled through Central America and Northern Africa quite a bit when I was younger with another female friend and solo and totaly agree with the above. I would have said no to pictures and definitely no to opening the door at night.

[wellyes]

I traveled to South India with my husband a few years back. I am pale and blonde. I have never felt so conspicuous in my life. I had children ask me for an autograph. In one tiny town I had children make a ring around me and dance and sing. I had people ask to shake my hand. It was all incredibly friendly and I never felt threatened. But travelling alone can be very different.

[baymom]

I've had similar experiences while traveling in Africa. Children following us, dancing around us, ect. I found it so sweet! Even adults asking us to use OUR camera to take pictures of them with us! But, I was traveling with DH, so it was very different. You did the right thing, OP--always listen to your gut when traveling alone! It's far better to risk offending someone than to compromise your safety.

[momkay]

I think #2 is definitely crazy I would freak out too if I was alone (and I am from India).
Next time stay at one of the five star hotels like TAJ ,LEELA ,HYATT, MARIOTT

[niccig]

ok so barricading the door with the couch seems less insane

Do what you feel you need to feel safe. I do think you need to be more cautious then you would elsewhere. Listen to your gut, and if you're not comfortable eg. the photo with just men, then walk away.

Western women are seen as easy to approach and the emphasis is on easy. I lived in Japan, Nepal and India and some men there think nothing of propositioning a western women walking by on the street - granted some were drunk, but I've never experienced it here. They have cultural norms when approach women of their own culture that they think don't apply to women from elsewhere.

I'd also be cautious with how you interact with men in the office.What here would be seen as just being friendly, can take on different meaning elsewhere. I'd be professional at all times and not be friendly chatting or joking. Communication is always seen through the lens of your own culture. What is acceptable communication between men and women here in the USA is not seen the same in other countries. You're in their country, you need to adapt you communication and behavior for there so no mixed messages. I did see people run into trouble when they expected to act like they did from their home country. I never understood why they thought they could live/work in another country and not follow local cultural norms and then be surprised when there were issues.

But also, you want to be open to new experiences. One way to do that is to get to know the women you'd be working with, you'll get invited to family/community events as people do want to share their life and culture with people from overseas.

ETA. If you'll be visiting one area more often, try to learn some of the local language. I found that when I used the local language, even if just negotiating to buy fruit from guy on corner with a fruit cart, it was assumed I was an expat living there and therefore knew what was acceptable, and not a tourist that could get ripped off. I found this to be the same regardless of country. Trying to learn the local language and cultural norms, asking questions of people you work with to explain things, are all seen as positive signs that you're open to learning how they do things means you'll be accepted more and not seen as "the foreigner" all the time.

[Globetrotter]

Western women are seen as easy to approach and the emphasis is on easy. I lived in Japan, Nepal and India and some men there think nothing of propositioning a western women walking by on the street - granted some were drunk, but I've never experienced it here. They have cultural norms when approach women of their own culture that they think don't apply to women from elsewhere.

This is unfortunately true
Niccig, you had some great tips. I didn't realize you had lived in these places!

[niccig]

This is unfortunately true
Niccig, you had some great tips. I didn't realize you had lived in these places!

I was an exchange student to Japan for a year when I was 16 and was bitten hard by the travel bug. Once I graduated college and was working I travelled as much as I could and mostly to Asia as not too far from Australia for 4-6 weeks at a time (I got 6 weeks annual leave). Then I quit my job and did a round the world trip which involved volunteering for several months in Nepal and India as I slowly made my way to the UK, where I worked for a while. I met DH on this trip and ended up here in USA. Even here in the USA, I don't speak or behave as I did back in Australia - the cultural differences aren't as stark, but I did have to adapt to the cultural norms here.

When traveling I learned to be open to new experiences and not judge things as being "wrong" or always comparing unfavorable to how it's done back home. I certainly don't like how women are treated in many countries, but if visiting, I do cover up or be more cautious for safety reasons. In India I found I got hassled less when wore the salwar kameez as blended in more.

[sweetsue98]

I'm Asian, 5'6", 140lbs, not big by American standard but huge compared to people in china. People stare and point. I'm Asian and people stare... Can't imagine what kind of stares a Caucasian tall male would get.

[hwin708]

Another blonde who travels a lot adding her voice to those who said they get asked for pictures often. Honestly, it never really bothers me, and is usually quite friendly and sweet.

But by myself, and approached by men - nope. Sorry. Maybe their motivations are totally friendly and curious. But nope. That's common sense even in our own country, so certainly common sense when traveling.

Ditto on the hotel. I typically stay in larger hotels, so something like this would NEVER happen, since there is such a disconnect between staff and guests. In small hotels, that disconnect falls away, so people knocking on your door instead of calling your room is WAY more common. But single woman answering the door to a strange man in the middle of the night - nope. Again, that would freak me out at home, so at a hotel in a foreign country, I would be right there with you, barricading the door. And texting all my friends a detailed description of my would-be attacker!

[hillview]

OK thanks all. Interesting. For sure traveling alone (vs even traveling with another woman) for me puts me in a more cautious place.