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  1. #11
    JBaxter's Avatar
    JBaxter is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Still free standing preschools require potty training before entering. I guess it would depend on when your childs birth day if they can attend. But I do know it is not hard to have a child out of diapers before 3 in my 23 yrs of parenting i've seen in done many many times. ( and not by traumatizing a child) I see people say "they are to young" many times. There IS a window you just cant ignore it or you end up waiting to 3.5. "My" generations ( Im 46) 2 was the magic age. now with the age of pampers & huggies children have somehow regressed to not being capable until after 3? Not sure how that happened but it evidently has. I managed to get 4 boys out of day time
    diapers well before 3.5.

    http://www2.aap.org/sections/scan/pr..._parents_1.pdf
    Last edited by JBaxter; 03-24-2014 at 02:47 PM.
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  2. #12
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    Taking my first baby step on the forum, so hope my reply is warmly accepted and everyone welcomes me.

    Quote Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
    "My" generations ( Im 46) 2 was the magic age. now with the age of pampers & huggies children have somehow regressed to not being capable until after 3?
    Well said. I totally agree. My mom and I were just talking about this very topic a few weeks ago, and I mentioned to her that I only remember babysitting for two families that had children in diapers past age 3, and I just turned 50, and back in my babysitting days few mothers used disposable diapers.

    Instead, regular ordinary old-fashioned cloth diapers with pins and rubber pants was what everyone used, and I was quick to adopt the very same old-fashioned method when the time came to diaper my own children.

    P.S. JBaxter. Though I'm reading between the lines, my guess is you used the same.

    I never stressed over the toilet training issue. Instead, I allowed my kids to (more or less) decide when they were ready, because in my mind, changing diapers was a much easier task (and a quicker one, too) than stripping and laundering crib sheets and bedding, pyjama bottoms, and waging war with a child not ready to make themselves at home on the potty.

    However, night-time diapering in my home went on for so long I thought it would never end!

    My advice... be patient... it will come.

  3. #13
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    i find this thread very interesting.

    i am only 35, and i used the most old-school types of cloth diapers (cotton prefolds with covers) with both my kids. My son still had no interest in pottying till age 3, and no interest in pooping in the potty till closer to 3.5. I guess I could have forced him, but I didn't see the point...would have been torture for everyone. I had tried bribes of all sorts and he wasn't interested. Six months or even a year more of using diapers was not a big deal in the long-run, especially considering i was using cloth.

    My DD PT'd right before 3. I did absolutely nothing different with her, she just "got it" earlier.

    I agree that probably the vast majority of kids could be taught to PT at age 2 or earlier, but for many we have to weigh the costs associated with it. I think the point that many are trying to make is why go through that torture/power struggle of trying to PT a kid before age 3 if it's not necessary. I know that in many other countries kids PT sooner, and it's largely bc diapers are in short supply, and the lifestyle makes it logistically easier for a kid to be able to use the potty on their own. For a kid in the US, who may be in preschool/ daycare for most of the day or even one who is not but who is often schlepped to Target, the grocery store, playdates or errands here and there during the day, it's a lot harder. So that probably explains the difference of why kids in US are PT'ed much later. Maybe use of cloth vs. disposable diapers makes a difference for some, but i didn't see a huge difference with DS.
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 03-24-2014 at 11:24 PM.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post
    I am only 35, and i used the most old-school types of cloth diapers (cotton prefolds with covers) with both my kids.
    Good on you! I'm a firm-believer in the idea that old-fashioned diapers (with pull-on pants) make a child more aware when they are wet/soiled, and real diapers remind a child that they are actually wearing diapers.

    When I was toilet training my kids, I'd give them a choice as far as what they wanted to wear. In one hand I'd hold up a pair of old-fashioned waffle-knit training pants (the cloth ones), and in my other hand, a diaper or pair of rubber pants, then I'd ask them what they wanted to wear. I was at ease with putting the child in either or, and in being so relaxed and approaching the matter so casually, my kids felt at ease.

    I remember babysitting at a few homes where older babies/toddlers/younger children still required night-time diapers, and I always kept the diapering routine/ritual simple and matter-a-fact like. (No big deal sort of thing). Woes erupt when discipline/punishment is administered, and/or, when shaming is used.

    An old Kindergarten teacher once told me, "in all my years teaching, I have yet to come across a single school aged child in diapers".

  5. #15
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    Default When do you just say enough ...or motivational ideas?

    My MIL and dad's wife did the old school potty training and it was "done" before 3 or 3.5, but they both tied their children to toilets with belts and other quaint "old school" methods. So quaint but not happening. I don't see a conspiracy theory from diaper manufacturers either and one of mine was out of dipes by three, but on their own. Not with punitive measures or sticker charts. All were really into the pitty around 2 and had gone in the potty, had access and encouragement to the potty, but only one really wanted to do it sooner than the other two FWIW, none had poop accidents ever and only a couple times tiny pee accidents. They were ready and did it, no stress. It's fine to try, but I am amazed by the number of posts of people who are using Metamucil or other things regularly, and have horrible issues with toileting. IRL the parents who pushed and said their kids were PT are the ones with ongoing issues and constipation, etc. People can try things but there isn't a magic bullet, and they shouldn't stress to the level they do because their child isn't toilet trained (with lots of "accidents" usually) before 3. It just isn't a big issue in our demographic or neighborhood. Mine just did it, no stress except for the annoying grandparents. And JBaxter, I'm not in my 30's anymore, sad to say, but 46 isn't granny age! You're not old! 😀 Lots of moms in our preschool at 45 give or take.
    Last edited by HannaAddict; 03-25-2014 at 01:43 AM.

  6. #16
    BDKmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default When do you just say enough ...or motivational ideas?

    I think that if your child is ready and can be potty trained at 2, go for it. But don't stress or think you are a failure if it doesn't happen until 3 or 3.5. For us, my DS took an interest in the potty a little after 2. We made it accessible and encouraged it, but my DD was born when DS was 2 yr 3 mos. There was no way I was going to deal with accidents while tending to a newborn, or remember to tell him to go every 30 minutes, or whatever other methods people use to make it happen. So we waited. Right around 3, I bought underwear and got DS to wear them. He did well for half a day, then he had a pee accident and it freaked him out. The next day when I tried to get him into underwear, he cried and said, "Mama, I NEED my diaper!" It turned into a big battle, so I let it go. In the meantime, we still worked on going to the potty, and he went pretty regularly, started telling us he had to go, etc. At 3 yr 3 mos, I told him that when we ran out of diapers, he would start wearing underwear. He did and never looked back. He had one pee accident the first week and was good to go. He had a few accidents a few months later because he wouldn't stop playing to go. Otherwise, it was so easy.

    I think it's fine if someone wants to do things another way, but I hate that so many stress themselves and their children when it's just like all the other milestones and there is a wide range of when kids are developmentally ready.
    DS - Feb 2010
    DD - May 2012

  7. #17
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    My son will be 3 next week, OP I feel your pain. I'm pretty sure at this point it's a matter of will for him, and I do think they sense when things are important to us, so while I try to give him opportunities and incentives, I act as if I'm disinterested, which, you know, is really hard . Of course if he does do something in the potty it's a party! We made huge progress in the last 48 hours when I bought him a toy he had wanted for a while at Target over the weekend. He told everyone we encountered there and at TJ's afterwards that he gets to take it out of the box when he doesn't wear diapers anymore. Sorry for interrupting your shopping trip with TMI folks. And then he was mostly dry at daycare yesterday. So maybe we have turned a corner, it's definitely in his court at this point.
    ~ Dawn
    Our little monkey (4/2011) & his early holiday present 12/12

  8. #18
    mackmama is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    My 3yo DC is similar to yours. DC showed interest in PTing, we did it hardcore for a few days and then bam - "Mama I want to wear diapers." We are going with it for now since it doesn't feel right to force the transition. I ask every morning if DC wants undies but, for now, DC is holding strong to the dipes. DC does ask 1-2x day to go to the potty to pee though (where I remove diaper, DC goes pee, I ask about undies again, dipe goes back on). DC is telling me right after a poo happens but, so far, not telling me beforehand re the poo. DC is also still waking up with wet dipes. So I think DC just isn't ready quite yet. I had big plans to do the "3-day potty training" that's talked about on here - but I don't think such an approach will work for my DC. We will be on a slower and more gradual path I think. Next year we are switching preschools, and they do require kids to be PTed so that's our only "deadline." Until then - I'll let DC lead the pace.

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