Children with Dif. Interests from Peers . . . and Strain on Parents!

[niccig]

This is such a good idea, we need to do this more -- and I esp. need to have DH commit to this because he has often promised away the farm before I get out of bed on the weekends! That is also a good point about siblings. Part of the reason I am so gung ho on this early therapy for DS is that I do worry that three year old DD is getting the short end of the stick between the time we spend (and she spends) managing DS's emotions and the amount of time devoted to his interests.

I agree with implementing this now. Your DD is fine with things now, but as she gets older she will want your DH to spend equal amounts of time with HER. She will notice the discrepancy. I know several adults who are resentful of a sibling who received more parental attention, it's harmed their sibling and parental relationship.

[Gena]

neither of us knew how to edit the iphone footage and where to send it to be produced?!

Get the iMovie app. I think it costs $5. It makes the process of editing the footage and making mini-movies very easy. Then get a YouTube channel and upload his movies. If you want, you can publish them as private and send a link to family members. Then he can show off his creativity and develop his filmmaking skills.

[Gena]

Our difficulties are different, because DS still has interests similar to those of much younger children. He just turned 10 and he still loves his Thomas the Tank Engine toys.

For us, we've learned to throw out other peoples' ideas of what is age appropriate. DS likes the things he likes and we are not going to take that from him. Our whole basement is an elaborate wooden railway train yard, with multi-level structures. I look at his complex achievements in engineering and think, "no way is this a preschooler's toy!"

his interest is alarming and comes in the way of his learning and socialization. It's very depressing to me. I feel like he is a very high functioning but severly autistic kid. I know that is an oxymoron but that;s what he is, and it's exhausting, it's infuriating, it's distressing and always ON.

Hugs. My DS also has a confusing combination of high abilities is done areas and severe impairments in others. Even the doctors and teachers who have worked with autistic children for 20+ years find him puzzling. It's made his education a real challenge for all of us.

A few things have helped with DS perseveration. One is giving him set times when he can indulge in his interests and set times we are doing something else. Part of this is recognizing how his interests function to help him calm down or de-stress and respecting this function.

I don't remember what supplements you are using. High dose B6-Magnesium really helps decrease DS's perseverations and some if his rigid thinking. TMG helps greatly with improving his social language and increasing his social interest.

Can you make use if your DS's obsessions to teach other skills? Lights can be crest for working on concepts like cause and effect or sequences and patterns. A simple game of flashlight tag might be a way to bring in some social interaction.

[niccig]

For us, we've learned to throw out other peoples' ideas of what is age appropriate. DS likes the things he likes and we are not going to take that from him. Our whole basement is an elaborate wooden railway train yard, with multi-level structures. I look at his complex achievements in engineering and think, "no way is this a preschooler's toy!"

My DS would love that train yard. Has your DS tried minecraft on the computer or iPad. DS loves building structures in the creative mode of the game. Currently he's building a multilevel tree house.

[Sweetum]

Thank you for your kind words, everyone.
sste, I sure hope my DS would someday find the friend that is your DS

Gena, thank you for the advice. we already do limit his interest related activities to one hour in the evening and let him do and talk as much as he wants about it. It has worked great for the last few months more so since have dropped off - he couldn't find much to do or talk about during that time, and the interest just waned away on one particular topic. That was very encouraging. But then he has so many and gets new ones every week, and I now find that he is sneakingly seeking reinforcement about those topics from people who don't know that it is his special interest and he starts by asking something that is functional but quickly moves on to repetitive or obsessive talk about it. By the time they realize, it's full blown perseveration. Besides, this reinforcement is also serving to keep his mind active wrt these topics/things. So, basically, I am unable to control his mind!!! I know, it sounds terrible to say that, but it is frustrating when I ask him "what book did the teacher read in school today?" (and this is something I always ask, so, it;s not new) and the response I got the other day was "there was a lamp in a hotel, on a table...". I do remind him about when he is allowed, but basically he is actively thinking about it while he should've been listening to his teacher. And this is just one example. That's why I find it so frustrating.

We haven't done B6, only magnesium and it did help with the uncontrollable obsession. I'll try it. No TMG either. also something I will try, thank you.

We have tried some to incorporate his interests into more functional activites but it seems he only takes it as a cue that it is ok to talk and think and then it's downhill. Perhaps I should extend his access time and spend some of that time getting him to participate in functional related activities...thanks for the ideas, I'll start with those.

Apologize for hijacking the thread sste. I'll be happy to continue on a new thread.

[Momit]

Sste, your DS (and DH) sound a lot like mine. Just the other day they were making a materials list to build a hovercraft this summer. And we got in trouble with the neighbors when their kids came to "help" DS and DH break apart concrete with a sledgehammer. My DS would much rather do this stuff, or look for fossils, or do yard work (what?!) than play superheroes or whatever with the neighbors. But he is not happy playing alone, which means he always wants me or DH to do something with him.

I do plan to look into those Engineering for Kids or STEM type classes. Maybe even summer camps at one of the museums in downtown Chicago.

[Gena]

My DS would love that train yard. Has your DS tried minecraft on the computer or iPad. DS loves building structures in the creative mode of the game. Currently he's building a multilevel tree house.

DS has seen Minecraft, but has not been interested in it at all. I think with his vision impairments, it's just too hard to make sense of the graphics.

I know that some autistic individuals really enjoy Minecraft and that there is even an autism-only server.

[niccig]

DS has seen Minecraft, but has not been interested in it at all. I think with his vision impairments, it's just too hard to make sense of the graphics.

I know that some autistic individuals really enjoy Minecraft and that there is even an autism-only server.

It's a really creative game. DS makes such elaborate and detailed structures. It's all done with blocks, but the graphics aren't the best.