Hi y'all and thank you for reading.
Background: After years of questioning, DS was JUST RECENTLY diagnosed with ADHD and Adjustment Disorder. I still question whether something was missed but at least this is a start. We are in the early stages of trying to find the right med and we have 1.5 weeks until his first therapy session. I am on page 3 of Taking Charge of ADHD...
Yesterday was our last day of soccer. Not unexpected, DD1's team won, while DS and DD 2's teams lost. Lots of activity, a long day in the sun, and losses. Bad combination. A day that I would normally look forward to downtime and just decompressing. It was also the first of three team end-of-season celebrations. DD1s team had a gathering at Coach's house in mid-afternoon. Normally, I would just try to take DD and let DH do something with the other two, or vice versa. I really wanted to do this as a family, though. DH missed a lot of DD1s games due either to work or going to DS's games to support him (bigger field, bigger knowledgeable voice to support DS). I wanted DH at the gathering to meet the parents. In hindsight, we should have just taken two cars...didn't. Anyway, we went home after games to unwind and eat a something healthy before the picnic. DS was doing great. He was getting along fine with the other kids. We allowed them to eat some of the food (chips, dips, etc) in moderation, 1 juice, 1 slice pizza, and then just water after that...let them experience the non-paleo "normal kid" foods but not overload. Anyway...he started to have issues. We pulled him aside, gave him some separate "chill out" time, and warned him. Second issue inevitably came, we needed to leave - it was a long hot day, lots of activity, food we do not normally eat, and bad behavior...done. We had grumpy kids from all angles. I felt horrible for DD1, who was enjoying rare time off the field with her teammates but the kicker was that she was going to miss "the Treat". Her coach was promising the team a treat all season if a defender scored a goal. That happened last week. The treat was walking to a FroYo shop at some point during the gathering yesterday..and she was going to miss it. I felt HORRIBLE!!! I can easily take her to get her treat but it just isn't the same as experiencing it with her friends. We went out to eat afterwards (DS was fine) and DD1 had a little dessert...not the same.
Sooo...hindsight is a b*tch. Lots of "I should have's" but all of those mainly rotate around DH being there and the convenience of having two parents available. Quite often, though, DH is not there, and I am in these situations with the three kids. Yes...I should have gone with just DD1...I shouldn't have let them eat the unhealthy processed foods...we should have taken two cars...I should have brought an extra outlet for DS such as his Nexus. Didn't happen. Any other suggestions? I really need to figure out how to handle these situations, especially solo, because I do not want DDs to miss out on opportunities bc we have to deal with DS's poor behavior...and neither do I, as I rarely have social opportunities. And, more importantly, I do not want DDs to harbor ill feelings for DS either. I have personally BTDT with my brother...I pray for "normal" sibling relationships between mine.
Sorry for the novel. I soooo wish that this parenting thing was easy. It just gets harder...and harder. Factor in sleepless nights thinking of DS and UGH!!!!!!!