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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    415

    Default Need your advice please

    DD is 3 1/2 and been potty trained for a couple of months (except nighttime and naps). She is very slow to warm and doesn't like change much so it takes us a while to transition. She is also uncomfortable verbalizing that she has to go potty to anyone (including me), except her teachers at school.

    She usually spends the day with her grandparents once a week (without me). When she first started potty training she would sit on the potty and pee at their house without issue. Now she is holding it even when she sits for 5-10 minutes and usually waits for a diaper at nap time and goes in it instead to pee. Or she holds it all day and goes when she comes home!

    Now that you have background, here is my dilemma. She has been waking up dry at nap time for a while now so I was going to transition her to big girl undies at home, but I don't know what to do about the grandparents house given how uncomfortable she is at their house without me now. Do I keep having them put her in a diaper at their house for nap time and make the transition at home until she starts to get more confident? She is a sensitive kid and I want to be sensitive, but I am confused. WWYD?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    My DD is about the same age and her potty training is also a little hit-or-miss. She is pretty consistently trained, but tends to have random accidents. She naps without a diaper, but we put one on her at night. She has lately (quite vehemently) asked to not wear a diaper at night. We told her after she is accident free for X days, she can skip the night diaper.

    Have you thought about asking your DD? Especially if she's sensitive, it might work in your favor if you ask her preference. For example, tell her you're going to move to big girl undies at home, but does she also want to use them at grandma's? But if she does, then grandma will ask her to go potty before nap and she has to remember to tell grandma when she needs to go. (If she doesn't want to switch at grandma's, and prefers to keep the nap diaper, I would honestly let it go for now since she is sensitive, and you'll probably figure out when it stops being a big deal to her.)
    Mom to Mr. Sunshine 9/08
    and Miss Happiness 3/11

  3. #3
    mmommy is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Dec 2009
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    Is there any way to make going to the bathroom more independent for her? At 3.5 she may not want to ask, but perhaps she can take herself? This may mean using a small potty and wearing slightly larger clothes that are easy to pull up or down. It could be that allowing her space for more independence gives her more of a sense of pride in taking care of herself.

  4. #4
    Philly Mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    So my DD who is younger went through a period where she would only use one of those little potties. She would not go out of the house or school, both places that had little potties. Before then she was fine going wherever. So I had her teachers take away the small potty during the day. She held out until nap time and at nap time, they put her on a big potty. She cried but went. After that, she was fine in big potties but we often gave a treat afterwards for a few days and told her she was very brave.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    415

    Default

    I truly appreciate the advice from everyone. Thank you!
    TrulyScrumptious- I will ask her what she wants to do at grandma's. Good idea. Today she wanted to wear her big girl undies for nap time at home, but she mentioned wanting to sleep over at Grandma's house. I told her that she would have to be willing to go potty at their house since it is not healthy to hold it all day and night. She said yes. So we will see.

    Mmommy- we are actually trying the independent approach already. It's a great idea so I will see about doing it more since that might help when she isn't with me. She can get on the potty, wipe and wash all by herself since she does it often at home. I have actually made a conscious effort to put her in easy clothes to pull up/down for this entire process, but recently I am asking her if she wants privacy for pee too (she already tells me to leave the room if she has to poop.) Sometimes she actually says she wants me to go with her and gets upset if I don't, so I have started to say I have to get something in the other room and will be right back. Its not an issue at home or if I am with her at the grandparents house. Just when I am not there. I have asked Grandma to do the same hoping that we can find a way for her to relax, but grandma says she wants her to stay with her. It is confusing since it is mixed messages but my gut says it's a comfort thing and she just can't relax...yet. Ugh.

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