is it rude to ask ?

[trcy]

I am the oddball on the BBB that doesn't like no gift parties. So yes, I do think it would be a little rude. If people ask what to get, then state your preference.

[MMMommy]

Yes, I think any form of gift direction is rude. Although I am fine with "no gifts" and do not consider that rude.

[daniele_ut]

I'm another one who finds it rude to direct someone to a particular gift. I also REALLY dislike "no gifts" parties.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Yes, I think any form of gift direction is rude. Although I am fine with "no gifts" and do not consider that rude.

Exactly this!

My SIL does the whole "Johnny is a size 4T and likes Spongebob Square pants, Cars, etc" on the invitation and I think it is tacky, as nobody in my social circle does that, but it seems common in hers. They also have friends who show up over an hour late to bday parties and ask if they can drop of their 4yo (!) for the rest of it and just take off, and they are like "sure, whatever", so i think it's an entirely different sort of folks (definitely not the BBB-type!! lol).

I don't know. I get the struggle of not wanting certain types of gifts for your DC (e.g. if you have a girl and don't want EVERYTHING to be super girly stuff, and you do want some more educational/building toy for them) but then at the same time, i'd be annoyed as a guest to feel restricted to buy something off their list. Since I WOH FT i stock a gift closet and for classmate parties i tend to just pull stuff out of there..if there was a request for specific type of gift that means i'd have to go shopping specifically for it, and well, that's another thing i have to deal with. I guess if it were books or something, that would be easy (hello, Amazon prime) but if it was something like xxx theme, then it would be harder, as i am pretty unfamiliar with anything besides Thomas (lol). And, I guess i'd always worry about getting the same gift as everybody else.

[babyfiorina1]

Thank you all. I'm glad I askEd

[dogmom]

And this is why I can't wait until we are done with the party phase.....

[queenmama]

I wouldn't think it would be "rude" to ask for books. I've attended several parties and showers where books were requested in lieu of cards (directly in the invitation), and I think it's brilliant.

I like the above suggestion of a book themed party, though there's no guarantee it'd lead to only books as gifts, but it's an easy way to hint at it. For example, we receive an invitation for a Legos/dinosaurs/princesses/trains party? I think, "Oh, they are totally into Legos/dinosaurs/princesses/trains! I'll get them that!"

[AnnieW625]

Yes. IMHO if you don't want toys do "no gifts", but IMHO that may not work if you live in area where people don't do no gift parties. I don't mind no gift parties and I always follow the rules, but keep in mind that some people just cannot not bring a gift to a party and if that is the case you need to be okay with that also.