Asking if older sibling can come to party?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I've always thought that infant meant under the age of one and not walking. I also don't really see why a child that age would be a big problem, and I wouldn't think twice if a parent came with a child that young to my party as long as they were holding and supervising said child the entire time.

Totally agree.

[Philly Mom]

I've always thought that infant meant under the age of one and not walking. I also don't really see why a child that age would be a big problem, and I wouldn't think twice if a parent came with a child that young to my party as long as they were holding and supervising said child the entire time.

Me too.


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[magnoliaparadise]

Thanks so much for everyone's views. I really appreciate all of your input. Not sure what I'm going to do yet - but I appreciate your honest opinions.
It has been really helpful to see how varied people's views are on this.

[Fairy]

I think that is easier said than done! Last birthday party I had for my twins was at a bounce house. I had exactly 14 kids , which was all I was allowed without having to pay an additional fee. Well two parents brought siblings and one of them lost their marbles that they weren't allowed to play and didn't receive a goody bag. I felt so bad , but since every person showed up, there was no extra goody bags. Plus I just felt crappy that they didn't get to play. The parents could have easily paid for them , but for whatever reasons chose not to. I had already spent enough and was not going to offer to pay the extra $40.

Right, that's the issue is that the parents might acknowledge that the sib can't participate and try to sit with them, but the sib doesn't get it. How can they as a PP said, when it's raining candy from the sky? Hell, I can barely contain myself. Then I feel really bad, too, watching some poor child feel bad cuz they can't play. I'd feel guilty about that for months. Some venues, like Chuck E. Cheese, makes it kind of easy to hang out with your extra child and do your own thing, and the sib won't even notice that they're not participating cuz they've got their own pizza the mom bought for them (I hope). Other places not so easy.

Mine are 19 months apart. They get their own invites and go to parties without each other all the time. I'm not sure I understand what's not "fair" about that. Even twins will not always both be invited - that's just how life works!

I was confused to read what this was in answer to, as well. I feel it's entirely fair for one sibling to be invited but not the other. They're individuals. That said, lemme bring out Miss Hypocrite, here, cuz I DO invite twins. Maybe now at age 9 it's not so hard on one twin when they're not included, but in pre-K thru 2nd, I invited both twins even if DS wasn't friends with them. In 3rd I invited the boy/girl twins cuz he liked them both, so it wasn't an "include the twin" thing. I won't have the issue this year, either, hes' still friends with the boy/girl twins. I'm thinking as they get older it gets easier to be individual about it, but I feel like with twins and young like that it's hard, so I always made that a sibling exception.

I don't see how a carried infant could be a problem, but if an infant is crawling and cruising and putting things into his/her mouth a lot, that might be difficult to contain.

Yeah, lemme explain how this can also be a huge problem. Fire codes. I had the age 5 bday party at a local pumpkin patch, and it's one of those big ones that have alot of stuff to do with minor carnival rides and a petting zoo. They are a fabulous operation, and they have party rooms. Those party room walls are particle board, and they are unbelievably strict about it being X amount of people in the room because of fire hazard laws. So, on the invitation, I indicated that only one parent could attend with each child (not a drop off yet). I followed it up with an email explaining why. I had to limit the invitations to X amount of people, and when my very close family friend heard that she could't bring her baby, there were issues. I felt really bad, but ... any warm body is a warm body, and so that meant no infants, carrier, worn, period. As it happens there were two kids who were no's (only two!), so I was able to accommodate the baby. I know it sounds ridiculous, but this is how you say no to an infant and why that no is legitimate.

ETA --> I just went ahead and opened up the 5th Birthday Party spreadsheet to see the details. The limit was 50 people, and we were at 100% capacity.

[ckso]

For me, I wasn't told about two different older siblings. I would have said yes if they asked. I see no problem in asking. I would prefer to have friends there even with siblings I just want to be asked first for older kids.


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That's awful. DD just started kinder but I don't think I'll have throw "whole class parties" because I don't think I can deal with the stress of not knowing how many people will show up because I don't know who has siblings and who will bring them

Right now we only do family and friends and even that is pretty big. Even then I have issues. Last year I did an indoor playground where headcount matters and 2 people asked if they can bring their niece. They offered to pay but I'm not accustomed to accepting money like that. I felt bad saying no so I just said it was ok. But that bugged me. I'm ok with siblings and expect them to come but don't invite extended families

But people who show up with siblings without RSVP ahead of time, that would tick me off

[PZMommy]

My older DS has been invited to several parties now, and I would never ask if his younger Brother could come. We have no family in the area, so if my DH can't watch him, then I just decline the invitation. We don't throw birthday parties as it is just too expensive and not really knowing who will show up. We got to Disneyland for the day instead.

[indigo99]

I had the age 5 bday party at a local pumpkin patch, and it's one of those big ones that have alot of stuff to do with minor carnival rides and a petting zoo. They are a fabulous operation, and they have party rooms. Those party room walls are particle board, and they are unbelievably strict about it being X amount of people in the room because of fire hazard laws. So, on the invitation, I indicated that only one parent could attend with each child (not a drop off yet). I followed it up with an email explaining why.

OK, but I don't think that's very common. I don't plan on having any more babies, but I'll keep that in mind if we are ever attending/hosting a party somewhere where it may be an issue.