Am I doing this wrong?

[sweetsue98]

Training pants were useless for me. DD1 just acted like they were a diaper. I let her pick some underwear she liked and kept the little potty within 10 feet of her the first few days. She had some accidents, but was very aware of them and wanted out of her pants immediately and I was able to discuss how much nicer going in the potty and staying dry is. I do diapers for naps and night time, but underwear was the way to go for me.

Totally agree with this! Fully potty trained my 2 dds by 2.5 years old

[AngB]

DS1 just potty trained in July at 3 and 3 months. He had been nearly potty trained last fall (would pee or poop on the potty for bribes when he wanted them), then all of a sudden he freaked out and refused to sit on the potty at all for about a year. Honestly I am soooo glad we waited as long as we did. We basically just told him we weren't buying diapers anymore. He went naked awhile then commando then finally boxer briefs (he hated the regular briefs). He basically just started using the potty again (after months and months of begging, trying to bribe him, etc. We just stopped talking about it a few weeks.) He usually will stop and tell us he needs to go and has had 2 accidents total. I agree with waiting awhile longer and then just going to underwear awhile. The "set a timer and make them sit every x minutes" type methods seem like way way too much work to me. I would rather wait a couple extra months and have it be much easier.

[HannaAddict]

He's just not ready. Three is young for a boy and even if it wasn't, he's letting you know he's not ready. Put him in diapers and follow his lead. Let him pick out some undies that he knows where they are in his room. It won't be long (weeks/months) that he goes in and wants to wear undies and will go in the potty. Make sure a potty chair is available or a potty ring and ask once in awhile. But I would back off the active potty training for now. And many kids whose parents claim are potty trained at younger ages - three - aren't! Our preschool had many kids who wet themselves and could go for awhile but weren't really truly potty trained but their parents claimed they were to avoid the small diaper fee! Good luck and be patient.

[JBaxter]

I'm glad to see others have been able to have potty trained kids at this age. 4 boys potty trained ( Daytime) at about 2.5

Totally agree with this! Fully potty trained my 2 dds by 2.5 years old

[basil]

Thanks for all the input!

Here's where I think we are:
1) He understands diapers are for "that feeling" (of having to pee)
2) He understands underwear are not for "that feeling" - like I said in 2 days, the only wet underwear we had was during nap.
3) He does not understand that potties are for "that feeling"

When I said training pants, I meant underwear with plastic pants on top….DH is very conscious of potential messes…They are Batman underwear and he does want to wear them…he cried today when I put him in a diaper

I think in his little mind, we just put him in underwear so that he has to wait until he gets a diaper to pee. He's not connecting lack of diapers and the potty at all. Potty is just a weird game mommy keeps talking about, but he gets stickers when he plays along. I just don't know how to make that connection for him. He's seen others go plenty of times at home and at preschool.

[I'm ignoring BMs for the time being since he almost always goes either 1st thing in the morning, or right before or after nap]

[wellyes]

Get rid of the plastic pants and no more diapers. Transition stuff adds to confusion in my experience. If he can't or if the inevitable mess would be not ok that means wait.

[westwoodmom04]

Thanks for all the input!

Here's where I think we are:
1) He understands diapers are for "that feeling" (of having to pee)
2) He understands underwear are not for "that feeling" - like I said in 2 days, the only wet underwear we had was during nap.
3) He does not understand that potties are for "that feeling"

When I said training pants, I meant underwear with plastic pants on top….DH is very conscious of potential messes…They are Batman underwear and he does want to wear them…he cried today when I put him in a diaper

I think in his little mind, we just put him in underwear so that he has to wait until he gets a diaper to pee. He's not connecting lack of diapers and the potty at all. Potty is just a weird game mommy keeps talking about, but he gets stickers when he plays along. I just don't know how to make that connection for him. He's seen others go plenty of times at home and at preschool.

[I'm ignoring BMs for the time being since he almost always goes either 1st thing in the morning, or right before or after nap]

It definitely sounds like he's just not ready. I agree with everything HannaAddict said. My pediatrician advised only trying for a limited time and then waiting, otherwise the child will think that accidents are normal and/or become very frustrated. In terms of getting him ready for another try in a few weeks, there is an Elmo video that talks about all aspects of potty training from a kid's perspective, I would try that.

[SnuggleBuggles]

After your update, I'd be inclined to back off for a bit. He doesn't really get it yet- and that's ok!! My boys were last to PT in preschool by a good amount. But, I purposely chose a preschool that had no rules about that. They understood that it's a milestone not all kids hit at 3yo (or whatever date).

[azzeps]

Just wait, because when he is really ready, it will be SO EASY. Or at least *easier* than it is if you try to coerce/cajole, etc. For my DS, we just took his diaper off, put the little potty in the room where we spent time, and he went on his own. We didn't ask him to sit or anything. We provided jelly beans as a reward, and of course we've had our share of accidents, too, but really, it was pretty easy. He's doing better now at wearing training underwear and not peeing in it, so it's been a progression. Now we're working on independent butt wiping! HA! Best wishes to you!

[HannaAddict]

And who really cares if it is 2.5 or 3.5? It really isn't a big deal despite inlaws or others asking if or when he potty trained and doesn't make you a better parent. Hang in there and it will happen, even if you wait a bit.