Am I doing this wrong?

[TxCat]

I agree that it sounds like he just isn't ready. Most pediatricians will tell you that this is a developmental stage and they really hate it when it's forced on kids by arbitrary nursery school requirements. If your school isn't requiring it, I'd wait. If your school is requiring it, I'd do 3-day potty training, which is basically cold turkey on the diapers and you put them in underwear - no training pants or plastic pants.

[ExcitedMamma]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

[basil]

So much conflicting advice I don't know what to do

I feel like he's really close. Like if he got it just once he'd get it and do it from then on. This is consistent with his personality overall - likes to make sure he can do something before he does it at all, but once he does there's no stopping him.

I don't have any need to rush him - preschool doesn't care. But I just feel like he's ready and can do it but that I've failed in adequately instructing him how

[SnuggleBuggles]

Like I said, it took us 6 cold turkey days (diapers for sleeping) for it to click. If you feel like he is right on the verge, then tough out a few more days. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

IME with ds1, it sucks to get in a battle of wills. If he isn't resistant then you need to decide what you want to do. My ds1 totally wasn't ready, wouldn't willingly sit, didn't care about special underwear, basically he was super resistant and stubborn. That's the situation I feel no value whatsoever in pursuing.

Your case is a gray area so it's totally up to you and how much you want to push it. Be willing for it to take longer.

[JBaxter]

Ive been doing this mommy thing for almost 23 years IF you think hes close then LISTEN to your mommy voice she's usually right. It s nice to get input from random strangers from the internet but YOU know your child hes at the right age. I give the listen to what your inner mommy voice says to every new mom I know. He's 3 your not pushing him hes showing signs and you need to hang in there.

So much conflicting advice I don't know what to do

I feel like he's really close. Like if he got it just once he'd get it and do it from then on. This is consistent with his personality overall - likes to make sure he can do something before he does it at all, but once he does there's no stopping him.

I don't have any need to rush him - preschool doesn't care. But I just feel like he's ready and can do it but that I've failed in adequately instructing him how

[flashy09]

I would overrule your DH and not worry about the mess. The mess is what helped make my DD aware that peeing in pants was not pleasant. I don't think just feeling wet would have been as effective. Since your DS seems to get the connection of underwear means no peeing, but not the connection of no peeing in under = peeing in potty, I would take a weekend and sit him (stand him? I have two girls, lol!) on the potty every hour and see if that helps him get it.

[mikala]

I would overrule your DH and not worry about the mess. The mess is what helped make my DD aware that peeing in pants was not pleasant. I don't think just feeling wet would have been as effective. Since your DS seems to get the connection of underwear means no peeing, but not the connection of no peeing in under = peeing in potty, I would take a weekend and sit him (stand him? I have two girls, lol!) on the potty every hour and see if that helps him get it.

I agree with this advice. I found that my nervousness about messes stressed my son out and we were both much calmer once I relaxed a little. I made a checklist of how I'd clean up accidents and temporarily moved a few things that would be harder to clean like a decorative couch pillow that wasn't machine washable. I kept a spray bottle with vinegar and water for pee and had a bottle of carpet cleaner handy for poop. We laid a blanket casually on the couch and I encouraged play in a room with wood floors :-p I brought the little potty with us at first and plopped him on it the second I saw pee or a poop stance. This helped make the connection that the potty was for pee and poop.

[westwoodmom04]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

I am a hundred percent positive that my pediatrician is not relying upon "outdated research from diaper companies." It's wonderful that your child was ready at 2, some children aren't.

[mommyp]

I am a hundred percent positive that my pediatrician is not relying upon "outdated research from diaper companies." It's wonderful that your child was ready at 2, some children aren't.

There is no way DD was going to be trained at that age. She was 3 y 4 m, on the older end for girls. Once she decided she was ready for underwear she never had a single accident. At this point, DS (almost 3) sometimes recognizes and tells us, other times not. We don't bribe, we simply encourage every attempt. For us, waiting until they tell us they are ready has caused less stress for everyone.

OP, you're not doing anything wrong. It is so individual!

[HannaAddict]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

That is sooo not true. Diaper company conspiracy theory, that is hilarious! Of course some kids train earlier and you can try and force it. The "outdated research" is actually the forcing kids to do it by two according to the pediatricians we know and parenting books I've read.