I can't stand the (mis)behavior. LONG.

[elliput]

I feel like it's a neverending battle with myself.

Yes. I understand this completely. There are so many areas where my DD is very close to being on par with peers that I project a more mature nature on to her (it doesn't help that she's several inches taller than everyone in her class also), and then I get a dose of reality when one of the major deficit areas rears it's head. Keeping it all in balance can be so challenging.

[hillview]

I feel like it's a neverending battle with myself. Over the years, I've learned to lower my expectations and doing so has certainly helped. But now he's in 3rd grade, and outwardly seems soooooooo close to being like the other kids. Third grade was the start of some of my memories of being a kid, and I know I was very responsible by this age. I cared about being on time, doing things correctly, getting everything right, keeping my stuff safe by putting it away. He's a lot like me in many ways, and I want so badly for him to have inherited those parts of my personality, too. It's not evident at this point, though.

Yeah I can TOTALLY relate to this. TOTALLY. Neverending. Last night. This morning. Just doesn't listen. SIGH it is SO hard.

You know, I hadn't even thought of that. I was in therapy a couple of years ago because I couldn't handle being a mother to my youngest. It was pure misery from the time he was born and I needed meds to get through his first three years. Then I started to get a handle on things and weaned off the meds while in therapy. I had to stop last year due to scheduling but thought about starting again, but not necessarily with a focus on being a special needs parent until you mentioned it. I think that's exactly what I need.

It's amplified by my 5yo being SO obedient. I think that's actually making things worse for me and my expectations.

HUGS. It did / does help me.

[123LuckyMom]

I think therapy would be a great idea for you! You're having to pour yourself out all day, every day. You need some help! I'd definitely go back to therapy if I were in your shoes! And I'm glad you'll consider watching your 5 year old at karate instead. I think that will help all of you feel better.

[pastrygirl]

Update:

Ugh, ugh ugh. I just read through all the reports for the big 3-year IEP meeting on Tuesday. It's NOT going well at school. It's much worse than I thought. I think it's time to consider ADHD meds, because he is not aging out of this as I had thought he was.

[elliput]

More . We will be going down that same road with my DS. He's had a rough start in Kindergarten and we are getting new/more evaluations this fall to see what changes/additions we need to his IEP. It's probably time for professional psych/developmental evals for him also.

[Gena]

He's EIGHT and looks like a big kid. This was easier when he was still little and baby-ish. But now? I expect so much more of him because of his appearance, I think. And his greater understanding of things in general. He can put two and two together, so why can't he train his body and/or mind to do appropriate things?

I know what you mean. I think this is one of the hard parts of raising a child with autism.

My DS is 10 and still has some of the same behavior struggles we've been working at for years. DH and I see him making progress, but sometimes we still think, "you're 10, you should get this".

DS takes a non-stimulant med for ADHD and it does help some. Supplements make a huge difference for him too.

Through trial and error, we have discovered that high dose vitamin B6 is really important for helping with some of the behavior issues, such as inflexibility, and improving his frustration tolerance. TMG helps improve his language skills and his social interest. Different supplements help different kids, so it can be a process to figure out what works.

Hugs. It's hard.