Update in #24.
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This is more of a vent than anything. But feel free to commiserate or make suggestions!
My 8yo son has high-functioning ASD. It presents itself as misbehavior, not listening to rules, or just plain defiance. It's gotten better over the years but is still SO frustrating. I really can't stand to spend a whole day with him, so on weekends, I let him play as much Minecraft as he wants. I don't feel like putting in the time to use a reward chart and check his behavior every 10 minutes to make sure he's on-task, or not kissing his brother's head, or not misusing something (and therefore breaking it). ARGHHHHH.
He's EIGHT and looks like a big kid. This was easier when he was still little and baby-ish. But now? I expect so much more of him because of his appearance, I think. And his greater understanding of things in general. He can put two and two together, so why can't he train his body and/or mind to do appropriate things?
He started karate this summer and it's been a disaster. He LOVES it, though, and the Senseis have experience with ASD kids, which is why I signed him up there. Still, it's so frustrating time after time to see him standing there doing nothing, or stomping his hands on the floor, or looking in the mirror. Hooting randomly during class. Doing moves that aren't even remotely close to what he should be doing. He's completely uncoordinated, but the class focuses heavily on effort even when the ability is not there.
Yesterday I made him pay for the class (took it out of his allowance) because I don't want to pay for his nonsense behavior. I also told him I'd ask them not to invite him to test until his 5yo brother caught up to his yellow belt. Obviously he hated that idea, but then I got an email that night asking his brother to test, but not him. Phew; they did it for me. (5yo has several belts to go before reaching him, though.)
I tried a reward/behavior chart for karate and have done it twice so far. I give him a checkmark every time I see him do something appropriately or make a good effort. Each mark equals 5 minutes of Minecraft on Friday, a day I usually don't limit. The first time I used the chart, I had to start making notes about all the misbehaviors, because they occurred every two seconds!! I wasn't planning to remove checkmarks based on bad behavior, because he usually responds to positive reinforcement, but ugh. I want to take away Minecraft forever, but that would be a worse punishment for ME!
I was so embarrassed during yesterday's karate class. He was just awful.
I can't stand weekends, because he is just awful.
We have home ABA twice a week, thank goodness. I don't have to deal with him on those two days. The other two days are karate, and then Friday with (usually) unlimited Minecraft after school.
Bleep the bleep. I just want him to start doing what he's told, or at least acting like he heard what was said. I mean, the sensei told him to grab his toes, not his socks. Specifically, speaking TO HIM right next to him. He continues to grab his socks as if nothing was said.
I have his 3-year IEP meeting next week and not looking forward to it. I have a sense that he's been just as awful in school lately. His last several ABA sessions have been terrible. Why doesn't he want to behave???