Not enough hours left.

[sarahsthreads]

We always travel the weekend before Christmas to DH's family and get home (late) the day before Christmas Eve, so I basically have to have everything done by the Friday before Christmas. It's always a race against time and very stressful for me while everyone else in the house is going about their normal everyday business and enjoying all of their holiday fun at school and work. Add to that the fact that I was sick with bronchitis (like crazy sick couldn't get off the couch) for three weeks, and have only been back to something resembling normal since Friday.

Even so, I could potentially pull everything off if a) I didn't have to work two evenings this week, b) I wasn't playing (and still rehearsing) for a concert that had to be rescheduled from last week due to weather, c) I didn't have to play two days of auditions for the next musical I'm working on, and d) I had help from ANYONE else in my family.

I've asked and asked and asked for help from my two big kids and DH and nothing happens unless I throw a major mommy tantrum. And then they help halfheartedly with a specific task that I have to give them (seriously? look around you and find something that needs doing, why am I in charge of seeing the mess and clutter and needs around here?) for maybe 10 minutes and then get bored and whiny and wander off and I just can't do this anymore all by myself. I am not seeking Martha Stewart perfection here, I just want a moderately picked up house that's vaguely decorated, clean clothes, wrapped gifts, and an hour or two of sleep.

I want to build snowmen and bake cookies with my kids, and take them to see Santa and all the fun things all of my Facebook friends are doing and instead I'm frantically trying to figure out who I still need to buy gifts for and feeding load after load of laundry through the washer, trying to find my kitchen counters and enough of the floor to vacuum.

I just wrote my entire to-do list on our giant chalkboard. Everything from "wash, fold & put away all laundry" to "find wrapping paper in basement" to "buy teacher gifts". Something ridiculous like 37 things, many of which are super broad like "wrap all gifts" and "pack everyone's clothes for trip". The kids created a wish list up there for everyone in the family, and the only thing they wrote under my column was "a clean house". (Because apparently that's all I've talked about for weeks, so it's what I want for Christmas. Whatever.) So I just wrote under that everything that has to be done by Friday, with big red arrows pointing to it saying "Please Help Me" and "I can't do this all by myself".

Too passive-aggressive? Should I erase it before I go to bed? Or should I just let it be and see what happens?

Sarah

[pinkmomagain]

Let it be. I have felt similarly all week. DH and kids have been calling me a grinch but honestly I have way too much on my plate to be happy and jolly! I broke down and started crying on Sunday and have gotten a little help. Have you tried crying??????

[specialp]

It's fine, although I would probably write people's initials by each task and directly give it to someone.

[ccather]

To do lists with check boxes. Break it out and specifically task. It's the only way to save your sanity. They don't see things the way you do, they just won't. I had to learn this. It sucks that no one else cares that the house looks like a tornado swept through, that DH doesn't notice the underwear laying in the bathroom (that he threw there), that the kids don't realize they're out of pants until there are literally *no* clean pants for them to wear (this applies equally to underwear and shirts)....I could go on....and on and on :P

Alternatively, since this is the BP <passes bottle of wine>

(The older I get the more I understand why older women always seem to be drinking wine. <sips some Moscato>)

[Indianamom2]

I get it. My house is a wreck. It has been pretty much all year. I walk with a cane and a limp....I can't get into the basement easily to hide gifts so they are all in the back of my SUV. Nothing at all is wrapped. I still have a few to buy. I get no cooperation from my children when it comes to real cleaning. All my free time this fall has been taken up with physical therapy and doctor's appointments. I'm hobbling along like a chicken with my head cut off and I'm not even hoping for perfection...just clean and neat and wrapped gifts under the tree.

I hear you and I love your message on the chalkboard.

[Simon]

That sounds so stressful and I'm sorry that you aren't getting a chance to enjoy the holidays yourself. I have similar issues year-round and have found a lot of success in making a short, personalized list for each person. Just 4 items each for Dh and Ds1 posted on a Friday night and waaaaay more gets accomplished than my one long list for everyone to pick something.

[sarahsthreads]

Let it be. I have felt similarly all week. DH and kids have been calling me a grinch but honestly I have way too much on my plate to be happy and jolly! I broke down and started crying on Sunday and have gotten a little help. Have you tried crying??????

Yeah, I've been told I'm "a little ray of sunshine" lately. Well, sorry. Stress doesn't really bring out the best in me, dear.

And yes, I've tried crying. It works for a little while, then they forget I was so upset and go off and do their own things.

Sarah

[sarahsthreads]

To do lists with check boxes. Break it out and specifically task. It's the only way to save your sanity. They don't see things the way you do, they just won't. I had to learn this. It sucks that no one else cares that the house looks like a tornado swept through, that DH doesn't notice the underwear laying in the bathroom (that he threw there), that the kids don't realize they're out of pants until there are literally *no* clean pants for them to wear (this applies equally to underwear and shirts)....I could go on....and on and on :P

Alternatively, since this is the BP <passes bottle of wine>

(The older I get the more I understand why older women always seem to be drinking wine. <sips some Moscato>)

What is WITH that? You don't realize you just took the last pair of pants out of your drawer and maybe should tell me? (Or better yet, do something about it??) And then they have the nerve to tell me that they have no pants that fit because I just did the laundry and there was only 1 pair in there. Well, I only do the laundry in the hamper, so if you're using the floor as a hamper that's not my problem, kiddo. And I'm not buying you new pants because you have more than enough pairs that fit if they're all washed weekly.

I'd totally be on board with the wine if I didn't have to go to work tonight...

Sarah

[sarahsthreads]

It's fine, although I would probably write people's initials by each task and directly give it to someone.

That sounds so stressful and I'm sorry that you aren't getting a chance to enjoy the holidays yourself. I have similar issues year-round and have found a lot of success in making a short, personalized list for each person. Just 4 items each for Dh and Ds1 posted on a Friday night and waaaaay more gets accomplished than my one long list for everyone to pick something.

I think I'm going to make a (short) list for each kid before they get off the bus today. At the worst, they'll at least do their homework as an alternative, instead of sitting watching TV or playing computer games while I clean around them, right?

Sarah

[sarahsthreads]

I get it. My house is a wreck. It has been pretty much all year. I walk with a cane and a limp....I can't get into the basement easily to hide gifts so they are all in the back of my SUV. Nothing at all is wrapped. I still have a few to buy. I get no cooperation from my children when it comes to real cleaning. All my free time this fall has been taken up with physical therapy and doctor's appointments. I'm hobbling along like a chicken with my head cut off and I'm not even hoping for perfection...just clean and neat and wrapped gifts under the tree.

I hear you and I love your message on the chalkboard.

I am so sorry that you are also struggling with this!

I told some random stranger in Target today (we had struck up a conversation over the holiday napkins for class parties, so it wasn't totally out of the blue) that I can't wait until December 25th. Because whatever doesn't get done by then isn't done and it's too late and who cares? But from now until then is just too much stress.

Sarah