If you have a special needs child,

[petesgirl]

How do cope with the idea that your child will never be normal?

DD has so many issues and the more drs and therapists she sees, the more things are added to the list of what is 'wrong' with her.
Thinking about what life holds for her just makes me so sad because I'm afraid she will always be behind her peers.

[Green_Tea]

I don't have an answer for you but you might find some great stories from people who have been in similar situations on this website: http://themighty.com

Great stories written by real people. Many of the writers have their own websites.

[SASM]

No advice (DS has ADHD and it has been a challenge for him to find his way) but sending HUGE (((((hugs))))) your way.

[pastrygirl]

I'm still in denial that my son will never be normal. I keep thinking he's almost there, when will it happen, etc., and then my husband reminds me that it will NEVER happen. He even pointed out that we might have to support him financially forever (home, food, everything). I can't even process that right now.

[AnnieW625]

Lots of hugs to you. I don't have any advice for you, but Dh and I went through a lot of grief when I knew we weren't going to be deliver a happy and healthy baby #2. It will be 6 yrs. this coming spring and I still have days where I think about hat I could have done differently during the ttc period.

[wellyes]

I have never experienced that, but I have a brother who had a traumatic brain injury which irrevocably changed his life. The hardest part is allowing yourself to mourn 'what could have been' without feeling guilty. I get it. You can unconditionally love him and still be sad.

[schrocat]

I worry about my son who has Asperger's alot.

[sariana]

"Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley (sp?) is a good story analogy. I think I first read it here on the BBB. I can't link on my phone, but you should be able to Google it.

[hillview]

it's very hard and I am not sure how to completely digest it.
I focus on
- what i can do now specifically (OT, tutor, SLP, therapy, 504, IEP, weekly advocating, communications plan, good life insurance, good estate plan, good will/communications to potential care givers)
- what i can do to plan for the future (more tutoring, additional school options, financial planning)

I agree with pp that you do need to let yourself mourn. Personal therapy has helped me.

[petesgirl]

Thank you everyone, good to know I'm not alone. I just wish I understood what happened. She was (seemed, at least) perfectly normal until she hit 6 months and then things just starting going downhill. She is 10 months old--cant sit or stand, can only hold her head up for a few minutes at a time, has an NG tube because she cant figure out how to use a bottle, has a lazy eye that will probably need a patch and uncoordinated eye tracking--and the latest is a possible seizure disorder!!

Where did this all come from??? She started out just fine...
and the worst is that so far her cognitive development is on par so she will get to go through life knowing she is different than others.....sigh...It just makes my heart break for her.