In laws haven't come to visit DD

[ShanaMama]

There are some people who are so terrified of illness and health challenges that they almost pathologically deny that they exist. They completely fall off the map whenever they smell a potential disruption to a positive, peaceful life. That is not an excuse. It's a pathology. It may be that your in laws are protecting themselves at your family's expense. I would urge your husband to speak with them and to tell them how painful it is to him that they have not been able to support him or your DD. It may not help, but at least your husband will be able to get it off his chest. It's horrible! I'm so sorry! It's bad enough that your DD is in the hospital. That you or your DH are experiencing extra stress and sadness due to your in laws' behavior is really inexcusable. I have a mother who cannot be needed. It is terrible, and all I can ever do is remind myself that she is deeply flawed, but that she would do better if she were capable of doing better. She isn't, and though that often causes me great pain, it does help me to know that she's just not able to do more. She is who she is. It doesn't seek to suck, though. I hope your DD comes home soon!

This is very insightful.
OP, I am sorry you're going through this.

[petesgirl]

DGS#3 was in the hospital a few months ago, and we made the 2-hour-each-way trip 3 times in 5 days... Yet DSD's mom couldn't be bothered to visit once in that time, and they live 30 minutes away.

Hope DD is feeling better soon!

Ooohh.... That would have sent me over the edge!

[doberbrat]

I just wanted to offer a hug and let you know I'm thinking of your family.

[bisous]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't even know you but I want to come and see your baby and bring her flowers and bring you dinner and maybe this is sounding creepy which isn't my intent at all. I just feel for you guys. Maybe your ILs cannot handle the emotional aspect of it? Although their neglect of the new baby it seems like maybe they are just self-centered!

[Melaine]

I 123LuckyMom is probably right. I am so sorry. It's so obviously "off" that there must be something going on. I agree I think I would just say, "it's really hurtful that you haven't visited the baby" and see what their response is. I will be praying for her this morning!

[Momit]

I'm so sorry, OP. That's awful. Hugs to your sweet little baby.

[DietCokeLover]

My in laws would behave the exact way yours are and it is infuriating. I am sorry your DH is hurt by them. It's hard to watch your spouse be hurt by their own family.

[mackmama]

Oh I'm so sorry. That behavior is just unacceptable and very hurtful. I'm sure they do have their reasons, but honestly who cares. They should be there, period. I'm sorry. I don't know the backstory on why your DD is in the hospital, but I hope she is improving and will be out soon. My thoughts to you, Mama, and your DH.

[MamaMolly]

It is a horrible thing to realize the members of your family aren't the people you think they are. BTDT. I hope in time your DH can forgive them, and move on with coming to terms with who they really are.