Peek at gender results before DH? Find out together? WWYD?

[123LuckyMom]

Since your DH just wants you to be happy, peek and tell him when he gets home. Anything you do would only be a problem if you're both not on board.

[AngB]

Look and surprise! Just make sure it's obvious, lol!

With our first, we were at the ultrasound together, but they couldn't get a good enough look to gender. At the end, the tech had to go clear the results w/ the radiologist, but told me if I got up, jumped around, etc. when she got back she'd try one more time for me. DH couldn't stay (had to get back to work), so I found out by myself, then surprised him that night by giving him a really girly onesie that said "I love my Daddy" on it. The reason I say to "just make sure it's obvious" is that he didn't catch the gender from what I did! (It was a white onesie, but it had ruffles on all the edges, and all the writing was in pink or purple, with flowers and hearts all over it....) I still give him a hard time for that!

I'm going to find out for our second by myself, too, because DH isn't going to be able to make it to the ultrasound. I plan on either buying colored helium balloons and putting them in a box that DH and DD can open together at home that night, or baking cupcakes that are colored inside but frosted white (I'm totally obsessed with gender reveal cakes even though I would never have a gender reveal party!).

I never regretted not finding out "together" with DD ... DH is less emotive than I am, so half the time when it's these big "surprise" moments I'm disappointed with his reaction anyways....so sometimes finding out alone is fine for me!

This is DH too! He actually annoys me when he's there for ultrasounds because he acts bored and sighs and crap-drives me insane! (Granted i have a zillion ultrasounds for my pregnancies from being high risk, but seriously, just sit normal dude!) So glad I don't have to find out from an ultrasound this time.

Thanks for the warning about making it obvious!

[Tondi G]

I would do #2 as long as he will ok with you knowing before him. He will probably enjoy the surprise! I am totally impatient and there is no way I could have an envelope with that info sitting there unopened while I waited for my DH to come home from work!!!

[flashy09]

With DD2 I had the Panorama test at 9 weeks. When we went in for the 12 week scan, they said the results were not in yet. DH was there with my then 17 month old and after the scan he went home with her. While waiting for the consultation/appt after the scan, I got thinking how strange that 3 weeks later the results were not in and asked for them to check under my maiden name. That was the issue and the results were in fact in so I knew before my DH. It was actually really fun! I stopped at an ice cream store on the way home and got him a strawberry milkshake. I found it really fun watching him figure it out. So I would find out and then surprise him somehow!

[AngB]

Ugh! Now he is saying I can't peek even though he said he didn't care if they told me over the phone before! (They don't to make sure they don't accidentally tell someone who wanted it to be a surprise.) So...I guess I will make him leave work early that day!

[Liziz]

Ugh! Now he is saying I can't peek even though he said he didn't care if they told me over the phone before! (They don't to make sure they don't accidentally tell someone who wanted it to be a surprise.) So...I guess I will make him leave work early that day!

Ugh, and after you got your hopes up to peek! I vote you try to convince him that a surprise from you would be better than looking together and then you can peek!!!

[elizamom]

We might be in this exact situation soon! I think I would totally peek ASAP. Or DH would have to make himself available the moment we received the results so we could do it together. there's always Skype or FaceTime.

I know nothing about this dna testing, but I am newly preg and I was just offered it. I think we will do it. How many weeks were you when you had it done? It's just a routine blood draw from your arm, correct?

[AngB]

We might be in this exact situation soon! I think I would totally peek ASAP. Or DH would have to make himself available the moment we received the results so we could do it together. there's always Skype or FaceTime.

I know nothing about this dna testing, but I am newly preg and I was just offered it. I think we will do it. How many weeks were you when you had it done? It's just a routine blood draw from your arm, correct?

So my OB told me I could do it at 10 weeks. My MFM (high risk ob) wanted me to wait until 13 weeks "to make sure there was enough dna in the bloodwork".

Waiting until 13 weeks wasn't really a good option for me. This will be my 4th c-section and if there was something not compatible with life going on (like Trisomy 18, etc. that is tested for with it), I don't know that I would continue the pregnancy. I mean, I can't say what I would do unless god forbid I'm in that situation, but I do want enough time to make a decision, and if I don't do the test until 13 weeks, get the results at 14+ weeks, then have to schedule an amnio/cvs to confirm definitively (although relatively rare, false positives are possible, the test is not as diagnostic as an amnio, it's just much lower risk), and then have to wait for those results and end up having to make the decision much later than I would want to. So more for that reason, waiting until 13 weeks really didn't seem like a great option to me. I ended up somewhat compromising and getting the blood draw at 10w5d although the baby measured 11w1d (we are sure of dates.) A lot of women get it done closer to 11w-12w but I don't think the accuracy is dependent on how many weeks you are, it's just that they may get an inconclusive sample and have to re-draw/re-do if done too early. (But even that doesn't happen often, from my understanding. My OB was fine with me doing it at 10 wks exactly if I wanted.)

And yes, it's just a couple vials of blood from your arm, pretty easy. The wait for results is really hard though!

[AnnieW625]

So my OB told me I could do it at 10 weeks. My MFM (high risk ob) wanted me to wait until 13 weeks "to make sure there was enough dna in the bloodwork".

Waiting until 13 weeks wasn't really a good option for me. This will be my 4th c-section and if there was something not compatible with life going on (like Trisomy 18, etc. that is tested for with it), I don't know that I would continue the pregnancy. I mean, I can't say what I would do unless god forbid I'm in that situation, but I do want enough time to make a decision, and if I don't do the test until 13 weeks, get the results at 14+ weeks, then have to schedule an amnio/cvs to confirm definitively (although relatively rare, false positives are possible, the test is not as diagnostic as an amnio, it's just much lower risk), and then have to wait for those results and end up having to make the decision much later than I would want to. So more for that reason, waiting until 13 weeks really didn't seem like a great option to me. I ended up somewhat compromising and getting the blood draw at 10w5d although the baby measured 11w1d (we are sure of dates.) A lot of women get it done closer to 11w-12w but I don't think the accuracy is dependent on how many weeks you are, it's just that they may get an inconclusive sample and have to re-draw/re-do if done too early. (But even that doesn't happen often, from my understanding. My OB was fine with me doing it at 10 wks exactly if I wanted.)

And yes, it's just a couple vials of blood from your arm, pretty easy. The wait for results is really hard though!

Having been there done that I think you made smart choice to do everything at 10 weeks. If you are measuring 11 weeks and think you are only 10 weeks I would be very surprised if you have a t-18 baby because t-18 babies grow very slow. Looking back my baby at 6 weeks the fetus was really small and could barely be seen even with the internal wand, but the nurse brushed it off as normal and said everything would be fine. Dd1 at that time definitely was more defined.

I was 31, and had zero history of complicated pregnancies or genetic reasons for any other tests so I didn't find out until early second trimester that something might be wrong, and even then my OB didn't think it was necessary to have an echo with the perinatoligist or the amnio until 3 and 4 weeks later. It was definitely devastating knowing that things could have been known so much earlier.

With DD2 6 months post loss at 10 weeks I had the nuchal fold test and AFP test.

[AngB]

Thanks. Not announcing gender just yet but we did find out all the testing is normal for all the most common trisomies,etc. so that is really nice to know.

We ended up being snowed in together the day we found out gender and since the roads were bad they told me/us over the phone, so it worked out well.