WWYD - Home alone?

[KrisM]

Have you left them before successfully? I started doing short 5-10 minutes about age 9 and now my oldest stays maybe an hour or so on his own. I'd have no problems leaving mine home for 90 minutes when they are 11.5 and 9.5 a year from now. But, we've worked up to it. I think it's a long time if it's the first time you are leaving them without an adult.

[daisysmom]

We just left our kids at home for the very first time!!! My kids are age 10 and age 13.

When I saw this, it just occured to me that the babysitters that I left my DD (almost 8) with Monday for 6 hours and today for 7 are 10 and 13. Girls in the neighborhood, one parent is a pediatrician and one is an ER doctor and these are the two older children who often take care of their younger siblings (3 kids younger), so I trusted them.

I have left my DD at 7 home alone while I walk the dog (frankly I left her home when she was younger too when I walked the dog, but could always see the house until this year - this year I leave her for 30 minutes). It does depend on the child. I trust that my child is not one that will create an accident or emergency herself, but I am mindful that she needs to know what to do if something happens to me and I don't come back (if she gets worried, the instructions are to go to the neighbor who is always home). I am big into teaching independence though, and I am thankful that I have a DD who craves it.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

We just started recently leaving our 10 & 6 (almost 7) year olds home alone while we exercise & get breakfast, so about 1.5 hours. No issues.

[123LuckyMom]

I think 9 and 11 are absolutely old enough to stay by themselves while you go out to lunch if THEY feel they are old enough, and if you feel they are. If it were me, I might not do it as a first trial. I'd rather work up to it with increasingly longer times away, but my oldest is 6. I feel he could stay alone by himself now for a short time, though I haven't done that yet. By the time he's 9, he will absolutely be competent to stay by himself for 90 minutes if parked in front of a movie. I don't know what the dynamic is between your two kids, though. Are they likely to get up to mischief? DS alone is fine. DD alone is fine. When you put them together, though, there's always a caper afoot!

[arivecchi]

Would you be comfortable with their handling of an emergency if you are not there? Fire? Accident? I would not be so I'd get a sitter.

[Simon]

I would leave my kids and go to lunch in that scenario. I was babysitting by age 11.5 and have kids I feel I can trust well, so I'm sure we'll be on the early side of leaving them home alone. Already I have left my (not quite) 9 yo home alone for trips within a few miles of home: dropping off mail at a post office, drive-thru at the pharmacy, books to the library.

[erosenst]

Go to lunch. If your husband is that paranoid he can come home from work and sit there while nothing bad happens.

Laughing at this - great answer

We only have one - so it's not the same (ie the interaction between the two kids may be an issue). But FWIW, DD just turned 11. At 8.5 she started staying home for 20 minutes (literally) if I needed to run to the store. That has gradually increased over time to an hour and half/two hours during the day when we were close-ish. New Years Eve was the first 'at night', and we were 15 minutes away for 2+ hours and she did fine; she's stayed alone in the evenings a couple times since, once when we were 30 minutes away. Last night I had a work meeting, DH was out of town, and she got a ride home from an activity with a friend. Let herself in and stayed by herself til I got home an hour later. We have an alarm system; she knows how to call us/call 911/fix something to eat, etc. I'm much more comfortable with all of this than DH, but he (rationally) gets the gradual moves toward independence and will defer to me on this.

Shorter version - I think there's a lot to be said about working up to more responsibility. Have they stayed alone for shorter periods of time? Are they ready?

(And one thing that I think I learned here - do they know what to do if you're not home by the expected time? It's one thing I slightly worry about - getting into an accident, etc. I review that periodically with DD.)

[Mikey0709]

Me personally - - my boys will probably be adults before I leave them home alone! Yeah - especially if they are all together. I know that's not much of a help.

On the other hand - a neighbor girl is alone by herself 12 HOURS A DAY at age 9. And she's been doing it for awhile. Both parents leave for work by 6:30am, she's responsible to wake herself up and get herself on the bus at 7:55am, gets home from school bus at 3:30pm - and parents come home around 7pm at night. I CANNOT IMAGINE!!!!!! Lately she's been coming over to our house after school - EVERYDAY.... cause I think she's lonely! I actually just found out about this too - - last week we had a snow delay, and she thought she missed the bus - - her parents never told her about the phone call!!!

[smilequeen]

As long as your girls get along well I think they'll be fine. I assume they know the rules about answering the door? They know your cell number? Do you have an alarm system you can turn on? My oldest is 10. Very mature. Very responsible. He will stay home while I drop off his brother (about 15 minutes round trip) every week. He has stayed home while I grocery shop. I have not left him home with his brother(s) at all. My younger two are too unpredictable for that. But if they are both relatively responsible on their own (I think they are both old enough to stay alone)...I don't see the issue.

[elephantmeg]

I started leaving DS last year (so 8.5 for 15 min or so to take DD to ballet). My in laws live next door so that helps some. This year we've left both for 10 or so min to take a car to the garage or to take a quick walk. Like this am, DH met me at the garage to drop off my van and left the kids at home.