S/O go fund me idea.....WDYT?

[Melaine]

Personally, I think it is really tacky. But we don't share clothing size or toy likes, etc. unless asked. I know that many on this board don't agree with me, but I am so grateful that no-gift parties are par for the course for our friends. I can appreciate not wanting the clutter of a bunch of toys that will just be wasted/not played with, and that is why we all have no-gift parties.

those of us who are pro-gift can still agree that this is terribly terribly tacky.

[Mopey]

Thanks for the opinions. I think we won't go. I am the type to always ask what the birthday child might want/use/need anyway. And I do kind of feel in the instance that they could reach out to their family members to contribute for a bigger present (as we are doing with Mopey's play kitchen) and not also the 70+ party invitees.

[Melaine]

We do no gift parties for this reason. I feel that we as a society have developed such a sense of entitlement about gifts. It is really sad. What kind of example are those parents setting for their kids?

I honestly am not trying to be snarky or rude, but just give the other perspective. I kind of think that no-gift parties are another way of displaying entitlement about gifts. Rather than leaving gift choices up to the giver you are dictating how they should (or should not) celebrate the event. It's just another way of exercising control over the gifts. I still hold with "don't mention gifts and leave it up the guests". Anyway, truly not trying to start yet another debate.
We can totally agree that cash at the door to pay for the recipients choice of loot is tacky tacky tacky!

[megs4413]

I HATE this.

[cuca_]

I honestly am not trying to be snarky or rude, but just give the other perspective. I kind of think that no-gift parties are another way of displaying entitlement about gifts. Rather than leaving gift choices up to the giver you are dictating how they should (or should not) celebrate the event. It's just another way of exercising control over the gifts. I still hold with "don't mention gifts and leave it up the guests". Anyway, truly not trying to start yet another debate.
We can totally agree that cash at the door to pay for the recipients choice of loot is tacky tacky tacky!

See I don't agree. By telling them that no gifts are necessary, I am just telling my guests not to feel obligated to bring a gift. We graciously accept any gifts received, when guests chose to give gifts. No gifts is also the norm at my kids' school, so no one bats an eye. I have to say I also love it as a gift giver. We still exchange gifts with close friends on their birthdays, though. I think it is much different to say don't worry about a gift, than to say I want X,Y or Z, or cash, as in this instance.

[daisysmom]

I honestly am not trying to be snarky or rude, but just give the other perspective. I kind of think that no-gift parties are another way of displaying entitlement about gifts. Rather than leaving gift choices up to the giver you are dictating how they should (or should not) celebrate the event. It's just another way of exercising control over the gifts. I still hold with "don't mention gifts and leave it up the guests". Anyway, truly not trying to start yet another debate.
We can totally agree that cash at the door to pay for the recipients choice of loot is tacky tacky tacky!

I do appreciate your point. I am "pro gift" when it comes to me And we give lots of gifts to our family at Christmas too. What I don't like is the feeling, and I see this in other kids and my own, when a child is so overwhelmed by the gifts they are given (one after another) that they miss the imporantance and significance of them. We just have way too many $20 craft sets. I have seen my own child not appear grateful, not use them for a year, and I myself stick them back into the gift closet so clearly I am guilty of not seeing significance in them. I have also seen other kdis act the same way. My child (and her friends) don't pick out the birthday presents for their friends - it is nannies, babysitters, errand runners ... all doing this. So our tradition of no gift parties just relieves everyone from this expenditure. I haven't ever heard anyone say they don't like it in our real life. And some very close friends bring a small gift, or balloons or flowers over on the birthday.

I truly think it is regional - meaning once it catches on and everyone likes it, it just becomes accepted and I am honestly, relieved. I didn't think it up, no pride in authorship. Just like our unusually early drop off tradition around age 4, parties became no-gift.

[123LuckyMom]

I sooooooo hate this trend of people dictating the gift giving process. I don't like any of it! I don't like the no-gifts, books for everybody, gift cards, cash grab, only something purple-- none of it! I recognize that I am in the vast minority, and I give up. I am no longer shocked and horrified. I accept that people no longer feel the need to respond to an RSVP or write thank you notes and that everybody assumes they're getting gifts and feels entitled to ask for what they want. Fine. It's a lot less work for me just to stick some money in a bowl. I don't need to know you or discern what you might enjoy. I just need to go to an ATM. What's missing in this choice to dictate gifts is that the receiver misses out on the surprise and pleasure when they get something they never ever knew they wanted, or something they mentioned once a long time ago and the gift giver remembered. There are no dud gifts but also no great surprises. There are little things DS has gotten for birthdays that he LOVES! They're things he never would have thought to ask for and that I never would have thought to get. Are those things just "stuff?" Well, yes, but still, he loves them, and the gift givers know they hit the nail on the head. The art of gift giving and receiving is dying out. I think it's a shame, but I refuse to dwell on it. ATM, here I come.

[Mopey]

What's missing in this choice to dictate gifts is that the receiver misses out on the surprise and pleasure when they get something they never ever knew they wanted, or something they mentioned once a long time ago and the gift giver remembered. There are no dud gifts but also no great surprises. There are little things DS has gotten for birthdays that he LOVES! They're things he never would have thought to ask for and that I never would have thought to get. Are those things just "stuff?" Well, yes, but still, he loves them, and the gift givers know they hit the nail on the head.

I also agree with this - I love to give a good present and I very sincerely mean every thank you I send out (and always send them, even if sometimes a little late). I am actually really surprised at the lack of thank yous - and each time I've gone out of my way to contact the parents and see what the child really wants - and then get it for them! Mopey has received absolutely fantastic presents I never knew about or would have thought of and that has been so great! I did try to talk to her about doing toys for tots this year and she got soooooooo upset. I think she is a little too young to understand (imho) and that combined with just this holiday season understanding presents....well, I'm hoping next year we can start the toy drive parties

[Corie]

I sooooooo hate this trend of people dictating the gift giving process. I don't like any of it! I don't like the no-gifts, books for everybody, gift cards, cash grab, only something purple-- none of it! I recognize that I am in the vast minority, and I give up. I am no longer shocked and horrified. I accept that people no longer feel the need to respond to an RSVP or write thank you notes and that everybody assumes they're getting gifts and feels entitled to ask for what they want. Fine. It's a lot less work for me just to stick some money in a bowl. I don't need to know you or discern what you might enjoy. I just need to go to an ATM. What's missing in this choice to dictate gifts is that the receiver misses out on the surprise and pleasure when they get something they never ever knew they wanted, or something they mentioned once a long time ago and the gift giver remembered. There are no dud gifts but also no great surprises. There are little things DS has gotten for birthdays that he LOVES! They're things he never would have thought to ask for and that I never would have thought to get. Are those things just "stuff?" Well, yes, but still, he loves them, and the gift givers know they hit the nail on the head. The art of gift giving and receiving is dying out. I think it's a shame, but I refuse to dwell on it. ATM, here I come.

I absolutely and wholeheartedly agree with you 100% !!!

[calebsmama03]

Completely and utterly tacky and inappropriate. I get the sentiment behind it - the clutter of cheap crappy toys in our toy room gives my hives- but if you don't want that you do a toy drive or a no gifts party. The entitlement of people these days is galling.