DS2 is having a bad day

[hillview]

Might belong in the bitch forum but DS2 had multiple conflicts in school today, ended up with the principle. His off behavior has continued at home. He is out of control and I feel so bad. Bad for him that he is out of control. Bad for me for having to deal with it. Bad for DS1 who gets the short end of the stick. Bad for the family that we will need to cancel our regular Friday night out dinner. And dread the weekend and what this could turn into. And bad that this is something that has been going on for years and will continue.

It is better. But it isn't what I want.
That is all.

DS2 has special needs (not sure really what we are dealing with exactly).

[ArizonaGirl]

Oh honey I could have wrote your post on Monday.

No help, just comiseration.

Hugs, lots and lots of hugs and wine, that too.

[sste]

Oh no. I agree, get wine and take-out stat! I think a lot of kids fall between or outside of diagnoses (which are just categories after all and even as good as they can get is not all that great). It makes it even harder for the parents, the kids, the interaction with the school because it is harder to understand and empathize with the kid--and the parents. It is not the kid, it is the disorder/issue at work but it doesn't have a clear label which makes it harder.

I haven't really had to deal with behavior as a special need. I will say my DS who is pretty well behaved (that is the perk of some anxious types) responds very well when he starts to lose it to me totally shifting gear. I talk to him in my softest, most loving and gentle voice and tell him how I feel. That I hate to see him upset and that I love him so much. That if there is anything I could do to make the bad stuff that happened today go away I would. That I know he is a terrific kid and that all kids and grown ups lose their tempers and make mistakes sometimes. That no matter what I am with him every step of the way. When he seems open to it I give him a hug or let him sit on my lap like when he was littler. I don't know if that is something your son might respond to, some kids just need more structure/limits and maybe that would confuse? I know for my kids they make a mistake, they get upset about the mistake, they make more mistakes because they are upset, now multiple people are mad at them and they are REALLY upset at this point . . . sometimes I think of myself trying to interrupt the downward spiral.

But really get some wine first Hill, I agree with PP. And try to focus just on today and maybe tomorrow. You really can't know what the future will hold. Many kids with issues have responded so well with treatment, maturity, etc. And a lot of neurotypical kids experience depression, addiction, eating disorders whatever in their teen or adult years. There is no way for any of us to know and I have seen ALOT of variability in kid outcomes that could not have been predicted from elementary school.

[Gena]

Hugs. We often have to chance or cancel plans due to DS's needs and behaviors. It's a way of life for us, but it's still hard at times.

I saw your other thread about your DS2 having visual disturbances. Do you think the behavior issues could be related? I know with my DS, if his behavior is significantly worse than usual it often means he has a headache or other pain. (My DS doesn't report pain, even when asked, so we have to go by his behavior). Could your DS be having migraines or something and the pain makes him act out?

[hillview]

thanks all. AG I will have a drink for sure. SSTE i will talk to him about some of what you mentioned -- all good thoughts. Gena it could be pain (he is usually pretty good about reporting that) but may also be due to the lack of sleep from our ER visit (he went to bed 2 hrs late which isn't SO late -- 10 pm BUT for him it is very late). Or ... he just sometimes just comes totally unglued especially at the end of a week. Thanks all.

[blue]

(he went to bed 2 hrs late which isn't SO late -- 10 pm BUT for him it is very late). Or ... he just sometimes just comes totally unglued especially at the end of a week. Thanks all.

I am so sorry your ds and you had a bad day. My DS1can't miss even an hour of sleep or he is horrible the next several days. I have also given up scheduling anything on Fridays, to many meltdown at the end of a long week...sorry no good advice but you are not alone

[annex]

Is DS2 on risperidone? (Apologies if I have confused you with another poster.) Vision issues are a known side effect. We also saw it lose its efficacy around the 6 months mark. Maybe give your Dr a heads-up, in case they forgot he was taking it.

[hillview]

Is DS2 on risperidone? (Apologies if I have confused you with another poster.) Vision issues are a known side effect. We also saw it lose its efficacy around the 6 months mark. Maybe give your Dr a heads-up, in case they forgot he was taking it.

thanks yes and we are seeing psych today will mention for sure